FOOL'S VIEWS (11/1 - 11/24)

Howdy folks,

I suppose I have no one to blame but myself for the back half of 2013’s sluggardly pace as far as cranking out the flicks goes. There’s no denying that I’ve kept myself busy with various projects, but this has been the case every other year as well. I’ve been writing (much) longer reviews than in the past, which definitely accounts for some of the lack of time spent in front of the other screen. However, now that HIDDEN HORROR is almost out of my hands and on the brink of being in yours (or at least, within your reach – lead a horse to water and all that) and Milwaukee Rep’s production of Noises Off is up and running, I’m hoping to be able to chill out with a few more movies as the year comes to a close.  It's encouraging that I watched as many movies the last week in November as I did the rest of the month. Of course, a very relaxed Thanksgiving with the femalien and Jon Kitley’s Turkey Day had something to do with that....

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

KNIGHTRIDERS (1981) Blu-ray Review

Knightriders (1981) d. George A. Romero (USA)

As the recognized godfather of the modern horror era, it’s a bit depressing to realize just how little joy George A. Romero derived from the majority of his genre output. Pigeonholed early on into the fright flick biz by an inflexible Hollywood, the great independent from Pittsburgh kept trying to wiggle his way out but found few doors open to him. However, following the worldwide success of Dawn of the Dead, he struck a three-picture deal with executive producer and distributor Salah A. Hassanein, securing creative autonomy under the sole contingency that one of the three would be a sequel to Dawn (the resulting film being 1985’s Day of the Dead). The other two were his 1982 EC Comics tribute with Stephen King, Creepshow, and a long, rambling, idealistic, at times naïve but extremely personal and heartfelt tale of motorcycle-riding knights attempting to live by an old-world code in a modern get-rich-quick world. One became a huge financial smash and beloved kitschy treat, while the other was virtually unseen by the movie-going public. The neglected foundling in this case, the one which Romero claims as his second personal favorite (behind 1976’s Martin), is 1981’s Knightriders.

EVE OF DESTRUCTION (1991) Blu-ray Review

Eve of Destruction (1991) d. Duncan Gibbons (USA)

During an advanced testing session in public, a female android prototype (Eve VIII – looks a bit like “evil,” doesn’t it?) and its keeper find themselves caught in the crossfire during a bank robbery; the resulting mayhem leaves the human dead and the humanoid machine malfunctioning and locked in “battlefield” mode, its highest state of alert, ready to use deadly force at the slightest provocation. Oh, and did I mention she’s also packing a thermonuclear charge?

ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (1976) Blu-ray Review

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) d. John Carpenter (USA)

Two elements hang heavy over any critical viewing of Carpenter’s second feature (and his first to be executed over a normal shooting schedule – his debut, Dark Star, was a college film shot in fits and starts that was later picked up for distribution, resulting in additional reshoots): 1) it is a conscious reworking of Howard Hawks’ 1959 classic western Rio Bravo with John Wayne, Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson, and 2) the onscreen shooting of a young girl (played by Disney fave Kim Richards) earned Assault on Precinct 13 instant notoriety. The latter item infuriated the MPAA and more sensitive reviewers, but being that this was an unabashed low-budget exploitation piece, it became the talking point that proved, “Any publicity is good publicity.” Following its initial cool reception in the U.S., the film became a critical and commercial success in Britain, affording the young writer/director (and composer and editor) the traction to mount what would become one of the most successful independent films in history, Halloween.

POSSESSION (1981) movie review

Possession (1981) d. Andrzej Zulawski (France)

Deliberately abrasive and queasy, idiosyncratic Polish director Andrzej Zulawski’s best known film assails its audience from the opening scenes and never lets up for a second, leaving the viewer exhausted, exasperated and exhilarated. Returning home from a vaguely defined military mission, Sam Neill is alarmed to find that his relationship with wife Isabelle Adjani has disintegrated into complete hostility and disgust. He soon discovers that she has taken up with several lovers, one of which might not be entirely...human.

CARRIE (2013) movie review

Carrie (2013) d. Peirce, Kimberly (USA)

The tagline, “You will know her name” speaks to the very problem inherent to revisiting such iconic material: We already do know Stephen King’s seminal telekinetic protagonist’s name, and she has already been immortalized in an Oscar-nominated turn by Sissy Spacek as directed by a near-the-top-of-his-game Brian De Palma. Even if viewers have never seen the full feature, they’ve seen the highlight reel. But the post-millennial remake trend continues, and despite director Peirce and screenwriters Lawrence D. Cohen and Roberto Aguirre’s best efforts to the contrary, the results are redundant at best and tiresome at their worst.

NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984) DVD/Blu-ray Review

Night of the Comet (1984) d. Thom Eberhardt (USA)

The good doctor grew up in a house devoid of cable (or even much in the way of network television), so many of the nostalgia items that make up many of my fellow genre fans’ ’80s pop culture bedrock were not available to me, at least not in the heavy rotation kind of way. Such was the case with writer/director Eberhardt’s cult classic Night of the Comet, which I only encountered decades later via MGM’s bare bones DVD release. While I wasn’t displeased, the “Valley Girls meet the Apocalypse” saga didn’t instantly burrow its way into my heart, in spite of the terrific offbeat cast of Catherine Mary Stuart (The Last Starfighter), Kelli Maroney (Chopping Mall), Robert Beltram (Eating Rauol), Geoffrey Lewis (Every Which Way But Loose) and Mary Woronov (Death Race 2000, among many others). However, after recently gorging myself on Shout! Factory’s Collector’s Edition BR/DVD combo release of the film, stuffed to bursting with special features that genuinely live up to the name, I can definitely say that I’ve been won over in a big, big way.

BODY BAGS (1993) DVD/Blu-ray Review

Body Bags (1993) d. John Carpenter / Tobe Hooper (USA)

I’ll be honest, until its recent DVD/BR unearthing by Shout! Factory’s Scream Factory division, I had nearly forgotten this made-for-cable anthology effort even existed, much less sought it out. Since it’s billed as “John Carpenter presents Body Bags,” I was even unaware that Carpenter had served as director for the majority of the piece (two segments and the wraparound). Blame it on Wes Craven, whose stream of similarly branded straight-to-video awfulness (Dracula 2000, They, the 1998 Carnival of Souls remake) left me more than a little gun shy. And, in addition to the fact that it was made for Showtime long before its original programming was the stuff of ACE awards, no one within my horror crew ever talked about it. Like, at all. Even when the conversation would turn toward Carpenter and his output, people seemed to go out of their way to ignore this little gem, skipping straight from 1988’s They Live to 1994’s In the Mouth of Madness (with completists throwing in a cursory nod to Memoirs of an Invisible Man from 1992) without so much as a good, bad, or otherwise. Which is a darn shame, because this is horror charm on the cheap, a slice of low-budget cheese that should delight any fan of Tales from the Crypt or the short-lived syndicated series, Monsters.

October Horror Challenge 2013 FINAL RESULTS!!

Howdy folks,

Due to a variety of distractions (starting rehearsals for NOISES OFF at Milwaukee Rep, putting the finishing touches on HIDDEN HORROR), the Doc knew he wasn't going to be able to dedicate himself fully to the task at hand during this most sacred of months. As a result, I opted not to do the full-on Scare-A-Thon treatment this year, but simply to fulfill the basic requirements of the October Horror Challenge as it was writ long ago on the IMDb Horror Message Boards, i.e. "View at least 31 horror movies during the month of October, 16 of which must be first time views." So, that's where we set the bar.

As you can see, I managed to stretch a little further than that (mostly due to the fact that I miscounted my FTVs heading into the final lap and had to knock out two more at the last second), and for the first time in many years, I actually watched a few non-horror efforts during the course of the month.

But the focus was on the fright, so here's the final stats. I'm a little behind on the reviews, but rest assured, they'll be there before long.

33 films / 16 FTVs

CHILLING VISIONS: 5 SENSES OF FEAR (2013) Blu-ray Review

Chilling Visions: 5 Senses of Fear (2013) d. Various (USA)

The multi-headed anthology film, where a disparate group of filmmakers ally forces (or at least throw their respective hats into the same ring), continues to gain steam and **thisclose** to being a legitimate subgenre unto itself. Three...Extremes, Chillerama, the V/H/S films, The Theatre Bizarre, Little Deaths, The ABCs of Death and so on. However, I can’t say I’ve been really impressed by most of these, since many simply feel like a two-hour short-film festival with little unifying rhyme or reason. On the one hand, I’m happy these artists are reaching a broader audience than they might just shilling their short on YouTube, Vimeo, et al., but at the same time, my nostalgic heart pines for a time when the portmanteau format was utilized with a bit more cohesiveness and forethought, where a unifying vision ran through the proceedings. Even if the stories themselves were uneven, they at least felt like they were of the same universe. Happily, Chilling Visions (originally produced for and aired on the Chiller network this May, and now available on Blu-ray from Scream Factory) is that rare beast where all involved are pulling in the same direction even as they utilize the “divide and conquer” method of filmmaking.

NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR (2013) Blu-ray Review

Nothing Left to Fear (2013) d. Anthony Leonardi III (USA)

When a new pastor (James Tupper) arrives with his wife (Anne Heche) andfamily at the dust blown borders of Stull, Kansas to head up the local congregation, he finds himself unwittingly caught up in a mysterious Wicker Man-type conspiracy with specific designs for his two daughters, Rebecca (Rebekah Brandes) and Mary (Jennifer Stone) Unfortunately, despite screenwriter Jonathan W.C. Mills’ attempts to do something different with the “insiders/outsiders” tropes, the enterprise is submarined by director Anthony Leonardi III’s misdirection of his ensemble and misguided overuse of humdrum swirling black CGI tendrils.

HIDDEN IN THE WOODS (2012) DVD Review

Hidden in the Woods (2012) d. Patricio Valladares (Chile)

An assault on the senses and the soul, one whose curtain-raiser features a father raping his daughter, then dropping the ensuing infant into a bucket nine months later and feeding it raw meat. Exploitation nightmare logic holds sway over cohesive storytelling, presenting a dark fable where destitute chainsaw-wielding psychopaths outrun and outgun gun-toting police officers, where runaway waifs turn cannibal, where one’s shattered brachioradialis (aka the forearm bone) becomes a lethal weapon, where everyone’s dark side is their only side....

THE HOUSE ON STRAW HILL (1976) Blu-ray Review

The House on Straw Hill (aka Exposé aka Trauma) (1976) d. James Kenelm Clarke (UK)

A curiously dubbed Udo Kier plays a high-strung novelist working out the sophomore jitters in his country hideaway (when he’s not donning rubber gloves to do the horizontal mambo with bouncy playmate Fiona Richmond, that is), with Linda Hayden as the typist hired to take dictation. One of the infamous “video nasties” banned in Britain in the ’80s, writer/director James Kenelm Clarke presents a hallucinatory and twisted portrait of sex and violence, and while his presentation has a decided confidence of conviction, his narrative is absolute loopy claptrap...which is not necessarily a bad thing.

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2 (2013) Blu-ray Review

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013) d. Steven R. Monroe  (USA)

I was a relatively inexperienced exploitation viewer when I first encountered the original 1978 I Spit on Your Grave. As a result, I couldn’t feel the full impact of the beast since the shoddy camerawork, lackluster performances, and middling makeup effects kept me at a distance. I understood that this was a terrible situation that our main character Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton) was in, but the execution of the story itself couldn’t get past the filter of my Hollywood-honed sensibilities. Later, as I consumed more alternative and rough-edged efforts, I revisited the film and was not only more affected, but more impressed by what writer/director Meir Zarchi had been able to capture. Like the child who shies away from the bitterness of coffee yet later grows to appreciate a double expresso, my tastes have either sharpened or dulled (depending on your opinion) to see past the flaws wrought by meager funds and limited experience. I now see I Spit on Your Grave (aka Day of the Woman) as a vital piece of exploitation cinema, a brave, fearless and underrated examination of the reality of rape and the fantasy of revenge.

THE LIVING AND THE DEAD (2006) movie review

The Living and the Dead (2006) d. Simon Rumley (UK)

A gut-wrenching exploration of mental illness, social status, age and mortality, writer/director Simon Rumley’s macabre microbudget masterpiece attacks viewers with staccato visuals and a driving soundscape serving its terrifying high-concept narrative.

THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (1999) movie review

The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999) d. Katt Shea (USA)

No one would deny that attempting a sequel to Brian De Palma’s sensational screen version of Stephen King’s breakthrough novel is a pretty thankless gig, but screenwriter Rafael Moreu’s approach is so clumsy one can only wonder what the rejected ideas looked like. In the town next door, another odd duck female adolescent, Rachel (Emily Bergl), experiences the rise of telekinetic powers coinciding with her sexual maturity, and wouldn’t you know it, mom J. Smith-Cameron is a Christian loony toon just like Piper Laurie in the 1976 film. (I’m not sure if the “rage” of the title is supposed to be a riff on “Rache” – I’m going to ignore it so I don’t have to slap anyone.)

THE FINAL TERROR (1983) Blu-ray Review

Final Terror, The (1983) d. Andrew Davis (USA)

A group of male park rangers decide to turn their river clean-up assignment into a little recreational jaunt with their equally outdoorsy lady friends. But there’s something lurking in the woods, something that wants to be left alone. Equal parts Friday The 13th, Just Before Dawn, Deliverance, and Southern Comfort, what could have been just another maniac-in-the-woods programmer turns out to be loaded with suspense and boasts a raft of soon-to-be-stars in early, strong performances.

GOLDBERG & EISENBERG (2013) movie review

Goldberg & Eisenberg (2013) d. Oren Carmi (Israel)

At the end of the 2008 home invasion hit, The Strangers, one of the hapless victims tearfully asks her attackers, “Why us?” The chilling answer, “Because you were home,” resonates on a primal level; we realize that there is nothing they/we could have done to avoid their/our fate. No wrong committed, no law transgressed, no rhyme, no reason. Israeli writer/director Oren Carmi taps a similar vein with his latest feature, one that mines the randomness of human interaction along the same lines as Edward Albee’s The Zoo Story. Sometimes insanity just finds you sitting on a park bench and it’s all downhill from there.

AMERICAN GOTHIC (1988) movie review

American Gothic (1988) d. Hough, John (UK/Canada) 90 min.

Set in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, this sturdy “vacationers in peril” tale follows a group of mildly annoying yuppies looking for a little R&R and finding M&M (madness and murder) instead.

THE SIGNAL (2007) movie review

The Signal (2007) d. David Bruckner / Jacob Gentry / Dan Bush (USA)

After a mysterious transmission invades every cell phone, radio, and television, humanity turns against itself with the end of the world looming nigh. This gimmicky yet strangely moving fright flick distinguishes itself not through originality, but by smartly integrating just about every popular trend afflicting contemporary horror films.