STARRY EYES (2014) Blu-ray Review

Starry Eyes (2014) d. Kevin Kolsch / Dennis Widmyer (USA)

Aspiring actress Sarah (Alexandra Essoe) juggles her soul-killing day job at a spud-centric Hooter’s knock-off (Big Taters) while knocking on doors all over Tinseltown. The deceptively simple plot follows her day-to-day trials until her big break comes in the form of a toilet temper tantrum following a botched audition (this happens a lot in the acting world; trust me on this). The casting director hears something “different” behind those thin walls and invites her back for a second, more involved audition, followed by a meeting with the mysterious producer, each step drawing the young artist deeper into the tar-thick mire of immorality. But sin – and fame – comes at a price, with Sarah’s tender spirit and flesh the currency of the day....

ANIMAL (2014) Blu-ray Review

Animal (2014) d. Brett Simmons (USA)

This Chiller-produced creature feature plays like an amalgam of other films – notably Night of the Living Dead, Jurassic Park, and Feast, the latter of which borrowed liberally from Romero’s playbook – but it’s all put together so slickly and with such a knowing tone that it makes for a surprisingly entertaining beer n’ chips Friday Night Fright.

DIGGING UP THE MARROW (2014) movie review

Digging Up the Marrow (2014) d. Adam Green (USA)

I’m not sure if the Hatchet man was trying to take the piss out of the found footage movement or just too damn busy producing his TV show Holliston to bother getting it right, but his latest offering is lame as lame can be. The former proponent of “old school horror” now jumps aboard the faux-documentary express, playing “writer/director Adam Green,” happily spending his days creating material with his pals and weekends hobnobbing with various genre celebs at conventions. Among the celebs that appear as themselves – stiff, mannered versions of themselves – are Kane Hodder, Tom Holland, Mick Garris, Don Coscarelli, Lloyd Kaufman, and Tony Todd. By now, we’re all thinking, “Wow, that Adam Green is pretty cool,” or at least that’s what I think we’re supposed to be thinking. (I remember when I also thought Adam Green was cool, having met him back in 2007 during the pre-release tour for Hatchet. This was, of course, before I realized I didn’t really like any of his movies.)

MOTIVATIONAL GROWTH (2013) DVD Review

Motivational Growth (2013) d. Don Thacker (USA)

Ian Folivor (Adrian DiGiovanni) is a depressive shut-in who, following an ill-fated suicide attempt, finds himself being given life lessons from The Mold, an expanding fungal growth in his bathroom (a superb alliance of puppetry and Jeffrey Combs’ mellifluous vocal performance). Soon, the thesaurus-enhanced smooth-talking goop is large and in charge, leaving Ian desperately trying to maintain sanity in between bouts of channel-surfing on his sometimes-deceased television (named Kent) or keyhole-stalking the comely next-door neighbor (Danielle Doetsch).

Dr. AC's 2015 Oscar Rundown

Just in the nick of time, here is my completely subjective take on the Oscar race.  These are not in any way to be seen as my handicapping, so don’t blame me if you don’t walk off with the office pool.  Who does win is completely out of my control.  Who I feel should win?  That’s another story, and I’ve noted my picks with an asterisk (*).

Read on…

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989) Blu-ray Review

The Phantom of the Opera (1989) d. Dwight H. Little (USA)

Aspiring young soprano Christine Day (Jill Schoelen) auditions for a new opera production with a strange and unusual composition discovered by her friend in a dusty music library, "Don Juan Triumphant." Courtesy of an errant sandbag nearly clocking her onstage, Christine is transported into a dream (or is it a memory?) of a previous life in London, one where she is the object of a mysterious and malicious figure's affections. Said figure being the resident "theatre ghost," Erik Destler (Robert Englund), an ambitious composer who has sold his soul to the devil in exchange for musical magnificence. (There's also the added bonus of Satan having horribly disfigured Destler's visage, so that his music is all that anyone can ever love.) Erik hides in the shadows, coaching Christine through her windows at night and eliminating anyone who threatens her ascension to fame and fortune. The unwitting starlet finds herself at the center of a spate of bloody murders, wondering at what price her success...and when will her benefactor come to collect?

GIRLHOUSE (2014) movie review

GirlHouse (2014) d. Trevor Matthews / Jon Knautz (Canada)

Struggling with both her father’s recent death and university tuition, foxy but decidedly “good girl” Kylie (Ali Cobrin) hits upon a novel solution: why not take up residence in a mansion of many rooms and even more cameras for a Big Brother-ish site where the chicks get hired for the clicks they inspire? What sets the titular abode apart from every other reality/porn channel out there is its canny combo of everyday goings-on with the occasional striptease or private one-on-one chat sessions with the lovely ladies. Unfortunately for them, a slovenly, tech-wiz psychopath dubbed “Loverboy” (played by the mononymic Slaine) gets a little too turned on by Kylie’s arrival, an unhealthy obsession that grows in direct proportion to his sexually fueled violence. Before you can say “Survivor,” the fetching femmes are being stalked and (messily) slaughtered, but since the location of the GirlHouse is top-secret, no one can help – they can only watch.

CANDYMAN: FAREWELL TO THE FLESH (1995) Blu-ray Review

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995) d. Bill Condon (USA)

An unnecessary sequel to the 1992 mini-classic that basically tells the vengeful hook-handed boogeyman’s (a top-billed Tony Todd) origin story all over again, relocating the action from the housing projects of Chicago to the sultry climes of New Orleans. Screenwriters Rand Ravich and Mark Kruger – working from executive producer Clive Barker’s screen story – deliver a much weaker narrative this time: The daughter of a Candyman murder victim (Kelly Rowan – not Kelly Rowland of Destiny’s Child and Freddy vs. Jason fame as I first thought) seeks answers to free her brother, jailed for the killing of a sleazy author (who lays out the “say his name five times in the mirror” legend in the opening minutes to catch latecomers up to speed). What follows is a string of gory slayings and murky investigations, with Rowan’s character ultimately discovering a closer personal connection to her bee-spewing nemesis than she could have imagined.

Civilian 2014 Wrap-Up and Year-End Stats!

Back again!

Having addressed the horror genre in the previous entry (hey, this is HORROR 101 after all), it’s now time to give the civilian flicks their moment in the sun. As before, all titles listed were encountered for the first time from January 1 to December 31, 2014 (i.e. no repeat viewings were eligible), with top picks denoted with an asterisk. (*)

FOR PREVIOUS YEARS' RECAPS, CLICK HERE


TOP CIVILIAN RELEASES OF 2014

Dr. AC's 2014 Horror Wrap-up Extravaganza!

Friends and fiends, it’s that time of year again!

First off, I’m going to come right out and say it: 2014 was not my favorite year for horror. Not only do I feel that the quality of the films themselves was lacking, but my enthusiasm for them was the lowest it’s been in recent memory. Whether the former had anything to do with the latter remains open to debate, but I felt like I spent a lot of time writing about movies that didn’t rock my world, with the majority of them being “assignments” as opposed to efforts I was genuinely passionate about. The bright lights occasionally shone through, but I found myself returning to known quantities (i.e. my personal video library) to restore my mood as the thrill of the hunt for new frights often left me cold.

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS YEARS' RECAPS  

"What do you mean we have to watch the special features for Return to Nuke 'em High now?"

Fool's Views (12/22 – 12/31)

And ... that’s it, folks!

We’ll be coming at you with the “Best of 2014” wrap-up soon, but it was a jam-packed 10-day finish with more hits than misses. Special thanks to the SAG nominations, the Chicago Public Library, the holiday season, and my pal Tery’s cinematic pirating finesse.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (12/16 – 12/21)

AC after nine Hellraiser movies....

Back again!

This week was relatively quiet, right up until I headed up to Oshkosh to hang out with the gang and bear witness to my first “Franchise Marathon,” a long-standing tradition of amigos John Pata, Eric Egan, and Ashley MerCleod who have endured such epic series as The Amityville Horror, The Howling, Leprechaun, Children of the Corn, Saw, Final Destination, and so on, all in one sitting. This time around, well, let’s just say it involved a certain puzzle box…

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back!

Enjoy!

DOLLS (1987) Blu-ray Review

Dolls (1987) d. Stuart Gordon (USA)

“They Walk. They Talk. They Kill.” Following the success of Re-Animator, Gordon’s second directorial feature shot for Full Moon (though released a year after From Beyond due to the extensive post-production special effects work) was this dark fairy tale of murderous children’s playthings combined with the “motley crew of rain-drenched travelers taking refuge in old dark house” horror staple. While her parents (Carolyn Purdy-Jones, Ian Patrick Williams) are portrayed as over-the-top unfeeling monsters, little Judy (Carrie Lorraine) provides one of the few sympathetic turns as the plucky youngster who appeals to the kindly, mysterious dollmakers (Guy Rolfe and Hillary Mason) who reside therein.

Fool's Views (12/1 – 12/14)

'Tis the season, suckers....

Hello, my friends!

The first two weeks of the last month of the year were bountiful, with Blu-ray screeners, holiday favorites, a healthy assist from the Chicago Public Library in the civilian department, and another Round of Redford. There were a few clunkers in the mix, but overall I’d say it was an enjoyable spread.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

THE DARK HALF (1993) Blu-ray Review

The Dark Half (1993) d. George A. Romero (USA)

Aspiring writer Thad Beaumont (Timothy Hutton) has reached a certain level of fame and success cranking out hard-nosed genre novels under the pen name of George Stark. But now Beaumont thirsts for “respectability,” something that eludes his popular but critically dismissed alter ego, and believes his latest effort will provide just that. At the same time, an erstwhile fan (Robert Joy) discovers the link between Beaumont and Stark and threatens to expose the secret unless some monetary compensation is forthcoming. With the support of his loving wife (Amy Madigan) and publishers (Rutanya Alda, Tom Mardirosian), Thad decides to publicly put Stark to rest, even staging a fake burial for the papers. However, the decision sparks a series of increasingly violent murders of the author’s intimates and associates, all implicating Thad. The evidence proves particularly damning since the killer claims to be none other than George Stark, who shares an uncanny resemblance – right down to his fingerprints – to you-know-who.

Fool's Views (11/1 – 11/30)

HOLY CRAP HE'S BACK!!!!!

Howdy folks!

Only watched 20 films during the entire month of November, 11 of which were consumed over the course of two separate days over at Kitley’s Krypt. First, there was the relatively impromptu Pete Walker film festival (due to Jon’s upcoming Evilspeak article), followed a mere six days later by the epic annual gobblerfest known as Turkey Day. Come to think of it, another four of the remaining nine movies were seen in a single day, having taken myself to the multiplex. Of the remaining five, two were classic Spielberg comfort food watched with the femalien and one was Another Robert Redford Movie, leaving only Monkey Shines (reviewed for Shout! Factory) and Now You See Me (watched while killing time during a platelet donation that preceded – and almost pre-empted – the Walker-thon). No, there’s no real method to the madness, but I do leave a pretty solid paper trail.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

THE DEVICE (2014) DVD review

The Device (2014) d. Jeremy Berg (USA)

Movies about extraterrestrial visitors never seem to go out of style, and Seattle-based quadruple threat (writer, producer, director, cinematographer) Berg delivers a pleasantly lo-fi effort that elicits favorable comparisons to The X-Files in terms of claustrophobia, conspiracy, and out-of-the-kit creature effects.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972) / THE VAULT OF HORROR (1973) Blu-ray Review

The anthology film has been making a comeback over the past few years, with offerings like ABCs of Death, V/H/S and its sequels, The Theatre Bizarre, and the just-announced Tales of Halloween. The short form appears to be back in vogue, which sits just fine with this monster kid; I loved Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, The Outer Limits, etc. because I enjoy a good set-up-punchline approach to horror. During the late 60s/early 70s, the British film company Amicus cranked out seven of these omnibus efforts, packing each story with massive star power due to the short shooting schedule. In their ongoing re-releases of MGM’s Midnight Movies catalogue, Shout! Factory has now dropped two of the most popular in the series onto shiny new Blu-ray, both based on EC Comics’ classic titles and inspired by stories from the same.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004) DVD Review

Shaun of the Dead (2004) d. Edgar Wright (UK)

Edgar Wright’s crowd-pleasing feature debut, a zombie comedy romance (or zom-rom-com, as pundits immediately dubbed it), instantly earned its place alongside such luminaries as The Return of the Living Dead and Peter Jackson’s Braindead (aka Dead-Alive). It was, quite simply, one of the best horror films – not to mention comedies – in years, as well as a winning tale of friendship and true love.

MONKEY SHINES (1988) Blu-ray Review

Monkey Shines (1988) d. George A. Romero (USA)

Following the lackluster reception of 1985’s Day of the Dead, Romero had a difficult time getting his feet and his next project. He found both – or rather they found him – in the form of producer Charles Evans (older brother of Paramount honcho Robert Evans) earmarking him to script and helm the screen version of Michael Stewart’s novel about a paralyzed accident victim Allan (Jason Beghe). In a classic science-gone-awry scenario, the “Helping Hands” support group provides him with a full-time live-in assistant, a small capuchin monkey named Ella who just happens to be Allan’s scientist pal Geoffrey’s (John Pankow) pet project, if you’ll pardon the expression. See, Ella’s been injected with a serum derived from human brain tissue in order to make her brainier; before you can say “Monkey Say, Monkey Kill,” Ella starts inexplicably sharing Allan’s headspace and all who arouse her new boyfriend’s ire meet with untimely ends.