Thursday, April 24, 2014

Fool's Views (3/31 – 4/6)

130,000,000 x less expensive than Godzilla (1998).  130,000,000 x more entertaining.

Howdy folks,

Finally started watching a few movies this year, enough so that we could (finally) compile a FV installment based on the one-week totals. Some decent independent flicks paired with two notorious Hollywood bombs (one deserved, one not-so-much) that I didn't feel obliged to give much virtual ink, as well as some fine civilian fare.

And no, you’ll never get me to watch the Emmerich Godzilla EVER again. This was purely an experiment and it hurt. Telling you, this movie-watching stuff – it ain’t for sissies.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.


Monday, April 21, 2014


Demon Resurrection (2008) d. William Hopkins (USA)

Upon hearing of her recent, possibly drug-related hospitalization, a group of concerned friends converge on the isolated Long Island home of Grace (Alexis Golightly) to stage a well-intentioned intervention on her behalf. To their surprise, the source of her ills are not chemical in nature nor are they provided by her mystery lover, the handsome, sensitive long-haired John (Damian Ladd); instead, Grace has recently escaped from the clutches of an evil cult, one that has done some very naughty things to her insides. Yup, with no small nod to Rosemary’s Baby, nefarious occultist Toth (Will McDonald) has orchestrated an enterprise by which a little bouncing Beelzebub is bound to be born, and woe betide those that stand in his way.

BLED WHITE (2011) movie review

Bled White (2011) d. Jose Carlos Gomez (USA)

These days, the news that an independent filmmaker has made a low-budget zombie movie is about as shocking as hearing that the sun rose in the east. Like the slashers of old, the walking undead scenario provides ample opportunities for drama between surviving humans, action sequences, gunplay, characters yelling, “Run!” at the top of their lungs, and, of course, gut-ripping, flesh-tearing, blood-splattering gore showcases. Like the requisite pizza and beer that follows moving a friend’s furniture, even the lowest zombie flick offers some modicum of entertainment value; you have to work really hard to screw it up. The challenge is to deliver something tastier than Domino’s, more satisfying than Budweiser. The good news is that Chicagoland director Jose Carlos Gomez (who also wrote, shot, and edited the beast) has done just that with his wintry shambler epic, Bled White.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Fool's Views (3/17 – 3/30)

I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles...

Howdy, folks!

Gamely attempting to catch up to the tail that wags the proverbial dog, and having a fairly good time in so doing. The horror offerings covered during this two-week period represent independents all, ranging from the microbudget to the slightly better funded, from terrific to terrible, and from the Doc’s Midwestern backyard to the far reaches of Australia. Not too shabby.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.


Friday, April 18, 2014

DEAD SHADOWS (2012) Blu-ray review

Dead Shadows (2012) d. David Cholewa (France)

All right, sports fans, strap on your helmets and get ready for sharp turns ahead. This debut feature from Frenchman Cholewa is a WTF blend of horror, sci-fi, action, apocalypse comedy, creature feature, zombie flick, alien invasion, and all-out crazycakes that sees modern-day Paris ground zero for one big whopper of a comet and shinola hitting the fan in the most exuberant fashion imaginable.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

COLD IN JULY (2014) movie review

Cold in July (2014) d. Jim Mickle (USA)

One hot summer Texas night, professional picture framer Richard Dane (Dexter’s Michael C. Hall) is awoken by the sound of someone breaking into his home. Spooked, the mild-mannered husband and father creeps downstairs and, accidentally firing his pistol, mortally wounds the intruder who turns out to have a criminal record a mile long. An instant small-town celebrity, Dane is applauded by the local lawman (Nick Damici) for bringing down “a really bad guy.” But when the burglar’s jailbird father (Sam Shepard) comes to town looking for revenge, it sets in motion a mysterious chain of events, revealing that nothing is as it appears to be.

PROXY (2013) movie review

Proxy (2013) d. Zack Parker (USA)

After single mother-to-be Esther (Alexia Rasmussen) is viciously attacked by a hooded assailant, she strikes up a friendship with fellow support group attendee Melanie (Alexa Havins, Torchwood). Distraught and alone, Esther grows more and more attached to her new friend, with dangerous consequences arising from their increasingly tangled relationship.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

PATRICK (2013) movie review

Patrick (2013) d. Mark Hartley, (Australia)

This remake of Richard Franklin's 1978 Ozploitation breakout about a comatose killer in the mood for love has the advantage of strong actors in the form of Sharni Vinson (You're Next, Bait) as the lovely nurse the titular comatose psychokinetic killer sets his sixth sense on, Charles Dance (Alien 3) as the aging doc obsessed with discovering the exact moment of death, and Oscar nominee Rachel Griffiths (Hilary and Jackie) as the repressed matron running the decrepit asylums for the not-quite-dead set.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Fool's Views (3/3 – 3/16)

VERONICA MARS??  You said we were going to THE LEGO MOVIE!
Howdy folks,

This two-week period was highlighted by conversations with the one and only Larry Fessenden (and preparation for same), as well as a healthy dose of Aussie-flavored genre fare. But the civilian side had its own rewards, aided by a long overdue visit to the Chicago Public Library stacks and movie pal Lee Shoquist’s urging that if I liked Charles Bronson’s pairing with Cape Fear veteran J. Lee Thompson for The White Buffalo, then I owed it to myself to check out some of their other work together. After all, for these guys to work together nine, count ‘em, NINE TIMES, something must have been clicking, right?

And, for better or worse, it was also in the company of Mssr. Shoquist that I made my way to the cinema for the first – and to date only – time in 2014. Too bad it was to see a free screening of Veronica Mars. Next time I get the urge to watch a feature-length TV episode, I’ll just pop in Munster, Go Home!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.


RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL. 1 (2013) Blu-ray Review

Return to Nuke 'Em High, Vol. 1 (2013) d. Lloyd Kaufman (USA)

Troma movies, almost by their very definition and heritage, seem defiantly designed to be critic-proof. The ramshackle production elements, the purposefully offensive subject matter and humor, the overt liberalism, the in-your-face attitude and self-referentialism, the splattery special effects that manage to be gross without ever approaching realism, and the gratuitous nudity (mustn’t forget the nudity), these have all become recognizable staples in the Troma formula that seemingly caters to the lowest common denominator while delivering its winking subversive message.