Friday, February 8, 2013

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME (2007) movie review

I Know Who Killed Me (2007) d. Sivertson, Chris (USA)

Even without star Lindsay Lohan’s tabloid-documented public implosion just prior to its theatrical release, IKWKM ends up being 2007’s biggest “mainstream torture-porn laughing stock,” thanks to Chris Severtson’s listless, hammerheaded direction and Jeff Hammond’s two-tons-of-dumb script.  After a sadistic serial killer kidnaps a bright and bubbly high school student, the town is rocked when she turns back up minus a few limbs...claiming to be somebody completely different.

Lurid without being the slightest bit enticing, one can nearly feel Severtson herniating himself trying to shock and awe. Look at all the oh-so-significant blue shades in the production design! Look at the gooey torture sequences! Look at Lohan performing the laziest, unsexiest striptease ever committed to celluloid! Listen to the former Disney star drop the F-bomb and act all, you know, hard!

To be fair, the plot-twist is a potentially intriguing one (one that calls to mind the starlet’s early work in The Parent Trap), but it’s handled so ineptly without an iota of plausibility, they might as well have introduced cross-dressing extraterrestrials as the perpetrators of the crimes as it would have been no less outlandish. Hereafter to be known as I Watched It So You Don’t Have To.

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