Friday, December 14, 2018

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984) Blu-ray review

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) d. Charles E. Sellier, Jr. (USA)

After his parents are murdered by crook in a St. Nick outfit, young tormented Billy (Danny Wagner) is sent with his infant brother Ricky to stay at an orphanage where he is mercilessly abused by our resident Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin). After growing to adulthood, Billy (now played by Robert Brian Wilson) lands a gig at the local toy store which works out fine until he’s pressed into wearing an all-too-familiar red suit and white beard to entertain the kiddies. Predictably, this pushes him over the edge, leading to a murderous Christmas Eve rampage dressed as Santa, claiming “naughty” victims right and left.

Thursday, December 13, 2018


All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018) d. David Ian McKendry / Rebekah McKendry (USA)

While several horror anthologies have incorporated a single Christmastime story (1945’s Dead of Night, 1972’s Tales from the Crypt, to mention some of the classics) into the mix, there are precious few compendiums whose energies are directed exclusively toward celebrating the Santa season. (In fact, until 2015’s A Christmas Horror Story, there were exactly zero.) But the husband-and-wife team of David Ian and Rebekah McKendry (the latter being a longtime Fangoria alum, horror journalist, and Shock Waves podcaster) have arrived just in time to fill the shocking stockings and change the stats STAT with their quintet of deadly and droll hors d’ouevres, all present-ed within a snappy wrapping, er, wraparound.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

11/19 – 11/30 (Part 2 of 2) (Last of the Turkey!)

Howdy, folks!

Sorry, got a little distracted there in the real world with zero time to scribble or watch anything over the past couple weeks as I was prepping for and completing the final phase of my Suited Instructor certification with IMPACT Chicago, a extraordinary and empowering women’s self-defense program that is definitely worth your time and energy, whether you are male, female, or non-binary-identifying. Check them out at Impact (or wherever your closest IMPACT chapter is located).

With that tidy bit of justifying out of the way, here are the remaining Views for November, which included the glorious gorge-fest that is the Kitley’s Krypt Turkey Day Celebration, now in its 16th year. (I’ve been there since Jon started letting other people join the “fun” in 2005.) We also snuck in a couple more Tom Cruise vehicles along the way, bringing our total for the year to 10 (with more on deck before the clock runs out). And, in keeping with the November Turkey Challenge, we decided to throw a couple Civilians birds on the platter as well. (Hey, when the 40th anniversary of the Star Wars Christmas Special rolls around, you kinda gotta honor that.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.


Saturday, December 1, 2018

Fool's Views (11/19 – 11/30) (Part 1 of 2)

OMG, so fullllllllll.

Well, that was a month to remember… or maybe one to forget. I completed my November Turkey Challenge right in the nick of time, wrapping up with a grand total of 30 Gobblers, 17 of which were first-time views, and while I can definitely say that “challenge” was the right word for it at times, it was immensely rewarding to explore strange new worlds of awfulness and bold new flavors of cheese. Similarly, it was interesting to settle in, thinking that a Turkey was in order and discovering instead that the film in question really didn’t qualify, being either too competently made (Murderlust), too icky (Entrails of a Virgin), or just not enough fun to recommend to anyone else (Cabin Fever remake). There is foul and there is fowl, and never the twain shall meet.

Due to the sheer volume of views, I’ll be breaking this period into two installments, wrapping things up with the Kitley’s Krypt Turkey Day coverage in the post to follow, so stay tuned!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.