A DRAGONFLY FOR EACH CORPSE (1974) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 20
Total First Time Views: 13
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $1,595.00

A Dragonfly for Each Corpse (1975) d. Leon Klimovsky (Spain) (87 min) (1st viewing)

Cigar-chomping, two-fisted Milanese cop Paulo Scaporella (Paul Naschy) finds himself chasing a serial killer whose appointed mission is to wipe out all manner of vice, with drug addicts, prostitutes, adulterers, homosexuals, and other forms of hedonists on the chopping block. After numerous members of their social circle become either victims or suspects, Scaporella and his frisky bride Silvana (Erika Blanc) combine forces, he with his unconventional law enforcement tactics and she with her “female intuition,” attempting to bring l’assassino to justice.

GRABBERS (2012) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 19
Total First Time Views: 12
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $1,515.25

Grabbers (2012) d. Jon Wright (Ireland/UK) (94 min) (2nd viewing)

On the small community of Erin Island, hard-drinking small-town cop Ciaran O’Shea (Richard Coyle) is teamed with perky, by-the-book Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley) when his superior goes on holiday. This strained odd-couple dynamic only gathers steam after a school of massacred pilot whales wash ashore and a few locals go missing... incidents seemingly connected with a recent meteorite splash offshore.

SEYTAN (aka DEVIL aka THE TURKISH EXORCIST) (1974) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 18
Total First Time Views: 12
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $1363.50

Seytan (aka Devil aka The Turkish Exorcist) (1974) d. Metin Erksan (Turkey) (101 min)

Once upon a time, there was a novel about a possessed little girl named Regan McNeil. It was called The Exorcist and it was written by a man named William Peter Blatty. It was supposedly based upon a real possession case, and lots of people read the novel and got very scared. Then Mr. Blatty went to another man named William Friedkin, a film director who had just become very famous for making a movie about scruffy cops and car chases. The two Williams (isn’t that funny!) decided they would make a movie about the same story and even though they fought a lot, it turned out to be a good movie. They called it The Exorcist, just to keep things simple. It made a LOT of money and even won some awards! A movie about a possessed little girl. Can you imagine? Then, other people wanted to make money and win awards, so they made movies that were a lot like The Exorcist, with other possessed little girls (or boys or grown-ups or dogs or cats) all over the world. Sometimes they got in trouble for copying, like when you cheat on a test by looking at your classmate’s paper. But the other people didn’t care and they just kept making them, even in other languages. And one of the funniest things that happened was a big fat Turkey that came from a place called… Turkey! Neat, right?

ALLELUIA (2014) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 17
Total First Time Views: 12
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $1260.55

Alleluia (2014) d. Fabrice du Welz  (Belgium/France) (93 min) (1st viewing)

Mousy and reserved Gloria (frequent Almodovar star Lola Dueñas) falls deeply for slick, slimy shoe salesman Michel (Laurent Lucas) after their one night of passion, even going so far as to give him money when a business deal purportedly goes south, but then he disappears with the dough and her heart. What Michel doesn’t anticipate, however, is Gloria’s tenacity in tracking him down, followed by her astonishing openness, telling him that she understands and is willing to help him exploit other women in return for his devotion. Stunned into mutual adoration, Michel sets up their next target, only to find his new partner’s emotional attachment a bit complicated for his needs.

TERRIFIED (aka ATERRADOS) (2017) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 16
Total First Time Views: 11
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $1186.40

Terrified (aka Aterrados) (2017) d. Demian Rugna (Argentina) (89 min) (1st viewing)

On a quiet street, in the suburbs of Buenos Aires, exists not one haunted house, but a cluster of three, each presenting its own particular spirit (ha) of menace. After one man’s wife is murdered (in horrific fashion) in her bathroom by a poltergeist, an impromptu team of supernatural investigators – Mario Jano (Norberto Gonzalo), Mora Albreck (Elvira Onetto), and Dr Rosentok (George Lewis) – assembles to uncover and hopefully resolve the mystery while resident police commissioner Funes (Maximiliano Ghione) tries to keep matters under wraps and his pulse rate down (due to a heart condition).

LA CASA LOBO (aka THE WOLF HOUSE) (2018) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 15
Total First Time Views: 10
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $789.75

La Casa Lobo (2018) d. Joaquín Cociña / Cristóbal León (Chile/Germany) (74 min) (1st viewing)

A “brilliant nightmare” painstakingly captured through stop-motion animation, The Wolf House acts as social commentary, history lesson, and a master class in unconventional storytelling. Virtually nothing I can tell you in this review can prepare you for what is a supremely unique viewing experience, which is a good thing since I can’t imagine effectively communicating the haunting and disquieting mood spun by co-directors Cocina and Leon.

AMSTERDAMNED (1988) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 14
Total First Time Views: 9
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $709.10

Amsterdamned (1988) d. Dick Maas (Netherlands) (113 min) (1st viewing)

A murderer has the famed Dutch city in a tizzy, snorkeling his way through the murky canals and slashing unsuspecting passersby onshore and off. Calloused city cop Eric Visser (Huub Stapel) is assigned to the case and, along with his former friend/rival John (Wim Zomer), dives deep into the mystery to stop the madman before he strikes again.

THE SOUL COLLECTOR (2019) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 13
Total First Time Views: 8
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $658.45

The Soul Collector (aka 8) (2019) d. Harold Holscher (South Africa) (100 min) (1st viewing)

“Somewhere in South Africa, 1977,” we are introduced to an unsteady and fragile family unit. William (Garth Breytenbach) moves his lily-white family, wife Sarah (Inge Beckmann) and adopted daughter Mary (Keita Luna) back to the farm he has inherited from his estranged father. Soon after they arrive Mary befriends Lazarus (Tshamano Sebe) a black “sangoma” witch doctor whom she meets in the woods who claims to have been a former employee of William’s father. Despite Sarah’s initial mistrust, Lazarus is eventually allowed to stay in the shack out back (after fixing the electric generator, literally bringing light to their lives). But the kindly figure has a dark past and a heavy load to carry – in his satchel, he totes around the undead figure of his lost child Vuyiswa (Owam Amey) and she is hungry….

THE GORGON (1964) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 12
Total First Time Views: 7
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $583.80

The Gorgon (1964) d. Terence Fisher (UK) (83 min) (3rd viewing)

A series of strange and unexplained deaths plagues the rural town of Vandorf in the early 1900s, the latest victim being Sascha Cass (Toni Gilpin), lover of local artist Bruno Heitz (Jeremy Longhurst) (as in she is carrying his child, although I’m sure she’s fond of his painting as well). What makes the beautiful model’s demise so curious is she has been literally petrified to death, i.e. discovered having turned completely to stone. Inspector Karnoff (Patrick Troughton) conspires with Dr. Namaroff (Peter Cushing) and his assistant Carla (Barbara Shelley) to cover up the mystery, but when Bruno’s body is found in the forest hanging by the neck, the collective attentions of his professor father (Michael Goodliffe) and brother Paul (Richard Pasco) are raised, along with Paul’s colleague Professor Meister (Christopher Lee). In this dawning age of science and logic, could the spirit of Megaera, an ancient snake-haired monster of legend, be the culprit?

COLD PREY (2006) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 11
Total First Time Views: 7
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $535.15

Cold Prey (2006) d. Roar Uthaug (Norway) (97 min) (2nd viewing)

A quintet of young, thrill-seeking snowboarders head up to the mountains to try out their mad skillz on the pristine (and remote) slopes of Jotunheimen, Norway. There are two couples, longstanding item Jannicke (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) and Eirik (Tomas Alf Larsen) and new loves Mikal (Endre Martin Midtstigen) and Ingunn (Viktoria Winge), with court jester fifth wheel Morten Tobias (Rolf Kristian Larsen) clearly carrying a torch for Jannicke. Good times and laughs aplenty are had until Tobias snaps his ankle and the group must quickly get him to shelter before a storm hits. Fortunately, they stumble across a deserted resort/hotel and take refuge. Unfortunately, they are not alone….

THE WAILING (2016) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 10
Total First Time Views: 7
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $486.50

The Wailing (2016) d. Hong-jin Na (South Korea) (156 min) (1st viewing)

A small, remote mountain town, Gokseong, is shaken to its core when a horrifyingly brutal and truly senseless murder occurs; there appears to be no motive whatsoever and the perpetrator is found on the scene catatonic and covered with a rash of boils. Called to the scene is Officer Jeon Jong-goo (Kwak Do-won), considered a bumbler and layabout by his superiors, a man who would rather spend time with his family (and occasionally roll around with his neighbor in her car's back seat). Jong-goo is no classic hero, yet he finds himself caught up in an ever-tightening web of mysterious events and tragedies. When his daughter Hyo-jin (Kim Hwan-hee) becomes seemingly overtaken by a dark spirit, he becomes a man possessed (if you’ll pardon the expression), struggling fiercely to save his family and vanquish the evil that has swept over his life and those of his neighbors.

FRESH MEAT (2012) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 9
Total First Time Views: 6
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $437.85

Fresh Meat (2012) d. Danny Mulheron (New Zealand) (95 min) (2nd viewing)

A enjoyable if uneven Kiwi horror/comedy mash-up of dysfunctional family values and second-tier career criminals, with a solid stripe of meat-munching right down the middle. Before coming home during school semester break, fresh-faced Rina (Hanna Tevita) is introduced in the girls shower room borrowing her stall-mate’s soap and all that this entails. Her cooking show TV-star mom (Nicola Kawana) and Maori-studies professor dad (Temeura Morrison) are unaware of their little girl’s Sapphic tendencies, but they’ve got bigger problems on their plate, er, bigger fish to fry, um, they like to have their neighbors for dinner... Oh, hell, they’re cannibals, a fact that Rina discovers just before a ragtag band of wackadoo crooks fresh from a jailbreak come banging on the door looking for a place to hold up until the heat dies down.

THE KILLER RESERVED NINE SEATS (1974) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 8
Total First Time Views: 6
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $389.20

The Killer Reserved Nine Seats (1974) d. Giuseppe Bennati (Italy) (109 min) (1st viewing)

Grumpypants moneybags Patrick Davenant (Chris Avram) uproots a party at his home to a remote (and shuttered) theater building owned by his family for several hundred years. Among his guests are new fiancee Kim (Janet Agren), ex-wife Vivian (Rosanna Schiaffino), redhead daughter Lynn (Paola Senatore), raven-haired sister Rebecca (Eva Czemerys), her short-cropped blonde lesbian lover Doris (Lucretia Love), smarmy artist Russell (Howard Ross), Vivian's nebbish husband Albert (Andrea Scotti), and Lynn's insufferably flip boyfriend Duncan (Gaetano Russo). There’s also a mysterious, oddly dressed stranger (Eduardo Filipone) whom nobody seems to know, recognize, or remember who invited him. Much bickering and idle chatter (i.e. exposition) ensues, with things taking a startling turn when Patrick is nearly killed by a falling beam and Kim is literally stabbed in the back whilst performing the climax of Romeo and Juliet. Accusations fly and unlikable folks die. Roll credits.

JUAN OF THE DEAD (2011) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 7
Total First Time Views: 5
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $340.55

Juan of the Dead (2011) d. Alejandro Brugués (Cuba/Spain) (95 min) (3rd viewing)

Calling writer/director Brugués’ crowd-pleasing zom-com a Latino Shaun of the Dead is both a spot-on assessment yet a dangerously reductive one. In the same way that Edgar Wright’s capturing of the London suburban slacker culture proved to be Shaun’s secret weapon, so too does Brugués immerse the viewer within the pulsing, poverty-stricken Havana streets, lending the film an unexpected authenticity.

SANTO Y BLUE DEMON CONTRA LOS MONSTRUOS (1970) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 6
Total First Time Views: 5
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $279.90

Santo and Blue Demon vs. the Monsters (1970) d. Gilberto Martinez Solares (Mexico) (82 min) (2nd viewing)

In retrospect, it’s a bit strange that I haven’t gone back to watch Santo y Blue Demon Contra Los Monstruos in nearly a decade and half, considering that my memory of it has always been positive. I remember sitting there on my couch in 2007, mouth hanging open the entire time, hardly believing what I was seeing, and hardly believing my good fortune. When you’ve got two masked wrestlers doing battle, not only with each other, but with El Vampiro, two vampire senoritas, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein’s monster (dubbed “Franquestain” here), the Mummy, an absolutely bonkers Creature from the Black Lagoon knock-off, “The Cyclops,” not to mention a mad scientist, his bald Miguelito Loveless assistant, and a handful of green face-painted zombies, it’s pretty hard to go wrong.

THE TAG-ALONG 2 (2017) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 5
Total First Time Views: 5
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $213.25

The Tag-Along 2 (2017) d. Wei-Hao Cheng (Taiwan) (107 min) (1st viewing)

In 2015, audiences were introduced to the Taiwanese urban (rural?) legend of a group of hikers in the late 1990s who were caught on video being followed by a mysterious and spectral “Little Girl in Red.” In so doing, director Cheng and screenwriter Shih-Keng Chien delivered a box-office smash that saw the group of hikers shuffling off this mortal coil one by one in mysterious ways. Two years later, Cheng returns to the fray with this slick sequel that delves further into the ghost girl’s tragic past, as well as considerably expanding the mythos.

PG: PSYCHO GOREMAN (2020) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 4
Total First Time Views: 4
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $130.20

PG: Psycho Goreman (2020) d. Steven Kostanski (Canada) (95 min) (1st viewing)

High on concept and loaded with inside nudges, winks, and references, this is a love letter to the 1980s genre offerings that lined the video store shelves and taught a generation that just because something was low-budget and/or weird, that didn’t mean it couldn’t be awesome and fun. While I can’t say it’s an unqualified home run, it’s worth remembering that the flicks it emulates were far from perfect themselves.

THE POND (2021) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 3
Total First Time Views: 3
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $97.65

The Pond (2021) d. Petar Pasic (Serbia) (96 min) (1st viewing)

Oddly enough, this is the second recent Serbian genre film I’ve seen in as many months, which is good because the only one with which I had firsthand experience was Srdjan Spasojevic’s notorious 2010 feature. (I’ll not spoil it for those still unaware of its shocking finale, but suffice to say… ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.) Unfortunately, this one from director Pasic and his three, count ’em, three screenwriting collaborators is a nine-pound hodgepodge of half-baked ideas shoved into a two-pound bag and the results aren’t pretty even if the cinematography is.

HAGAZUSSA (2017) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 2
Total First Time Views: 2
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $64.60

Hagazussa (2017) d. Lukas Feigelfeld (Austria/Germany) (104 min) (1st viewing)

A young girl, Albrun (Celina Peter), and her wizened mother (Claudia Martini) reside in solitude in the mountains, shunned by the world and antagonized by the locals whenever the urge strikes. They eke out this mournful existence, solely reliant on one another, until the mother becomes bedridden, vomiting uncontrollably and exhibiting gruesome boils over her body. After she dies, we flash forward 10 years where we discover Albrun (now played by Aleksandra Cwen) tending to a young female infant. No mention is made of the father, and it’s unclear what the young mother’s feelings are toward her absent lover. She does still fantasize about the physical realm, demonstrated by prolonged moaning episodes of self-pleasure, and everything she does seems to exude sensuality in its purest sense. She remains the object of the villagers’ scorn, some openly hostile while others are more insidious in their antagonism, leading Albrun to a vengeful state that could destroy the lives of all.

HOSTILE (2014) Movie Review

Scare-A-Thon Totals to Date:

Total Movies Watched: 1
Total First Time Views: 1
Amount raised for ALBANY PARK THEATER PROJECT: $30.30 

Hostile (2014) d. Nathan Ambrosioni (France) (89 min) (1st viewing)

When two adopted sisters begin claiming that an escaped mental patient haunting the house of their foster parent, it prompts their mother to reach out to a reality TV show, Adoption S.O.S., for help. However, after the crew arrives on the scene, Mom starts seeing the apparition as well, and the young girls begin making ominous proclamations. With the best of intentions (and despite the fact that they state several times that they can’t interfere with the situation but only document), the two-person crew reaches out to a local psychic, who becomes a de facto exorcist and things proceed to go merrily off the rails.