THE BLOB (1958) review

Blob, The (1958) (3rd viewing) d. Yeaworth, Jr., Irvin S. (USA)

Considered by many the quintessential drive-in flick of the ’50s due to a memorably amorphous monster, Burt Bacharach’s hit title song and an unabashed “adults just don’t understand” message aimed squarely at its under-25 audience base. Future Hollywood superstar Steve McQueen (billed as “Steven”) might well have never graduated to the big time had producer Jack Harris’ film not been such a roaring success at the turnstiles – truth be told, the King of Cool comes off pretty mannered and awkward in his first starring role and his so-not-teenaged castmates don’t help matters. Luckily, the reddish-hued creepin’ leapin’ glidin’ slidin’ menace from space generates a venerable amount of fright factor as it oozes under doors, cruises around corners and swallows victims whole. Any scenes featuring Bart Sloane’s Blob effects are easily the highlights, especially Olin Howlin’s initial wooded encounter with the extraterrestrial goop, a doctor’s office attack and most memorably, the gooey assault on a packed movie house (screening the 1955 classic Daughter of Horror), an event revisited yearly at the annual Blobfest in Phoenixville, PA.

THINNER (1996) review

Thinner (1996) (2nd viewing) d. Holland, Tom (USA)

After rotund lawyer Robert John Burke accidentally runs down an aged gypsy woman in the street, the victim’s father attacks the barrister (and those who colluded with him to avoid justice) with a terrifying wasting black magic curse. Despite medical testing and a literal all-consuming diet, Burke’s pounds keep slipping off until, frantic at the skeletal prospects, he enlists former mobster client Joe Mantegna to track down the vengeful mystic and his saucy slingshot wielding granddaughter (Kari Wuhrer). The same year Rick Baker turned Eddie Murphy into the charmingly obese Sherman Klump for The Nutty Professor update, Oscar-winning makeup legend Greg Cannom tried his hand at inflating (and deflating) his star to more sinister effect…with less success. But under Tom Holland’s surprisingly garish direction, the whole affair is as blatantly artificial and cartoonish as Burke’s latex induced triple chin; a shame since what is called for (and what worked to such fine effect in Stephen King’s source novel) is shadowy mystery and creepy atmosphere rather than eye-rolling C-grade performances and in-your-face gross-outs. Disappointing, especially considering the talent involved.

SOME GUY WHO KILLS PEOPLE (2011) review

Some Guy Who Kills People (2011) (1st viewing) d. Perez, Jack (USA)

Intriguing black comedy starring Kevin Corrigan as a slovenly ice cream parlor employee (recently released from the loony bin) whose former childhood bullies suddenly meet violent ends all around him. The vividly staged murders serve as punctuation marks to scenes of Corrigan dealing with less splattery aspects of life, which include meeting his estranged daughter Ariel Gade, dating quirky-cute Brit Lucy Davis, and attempting to appease caustic mom Karen Black. Barry Bostwick nearly runs away with the flick as a nattering sheriff whose knack for understatement and obsession with the mundane are among the many gems provided by screenwriter Ryan A. Levin. Sweet, quirky and affably enjoyable fare, adjectives not usually ascribed to a flick where limbs and red stuff fly with such abandon.

MONSTER BRAWL (2011) review

Monster Brawl (2011) d. Cook, Jesse, T. (Canada)

Turgid monster mash by way of Spike TV programming that should have been a LOT more fun considering its outlandish premise: top monsters (Frankenstein’s Monster, Wolfman, Witch, Zombie, Swamp Creature, etc.) duke it out in a cemetery-set wrestling ring. The ringside patter provided by Dave Foley, Art Hindle and “Mouth from the South” Jimmy Hart rarely inspires more than a grudging grunt, and the underwhelming flying fiendish fisticuffs are snoozy and stale (with the exception of the climactic match-up’s final sanguinary moments). Decent creature makeups by The Brother Gore (Jeff and Jason Derushie, who also doled out the grue for Exit Humanity), but in the service of an uninspired narrative that never rises above its gimmicky set-up. All slop, no smarts.

THE LOVED ONES (2009) review

Loved Ones, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Byrne, Sean (Australia)

Long-haired metalhead Xavier Samuel, traumatized by the violent death of his father, spends his final high school days in a haze of reefer smoke and tender embraces of trying-to-be-patient girlfriend Victoria Thaine. Little does he guess that his affections are the crown which malevolent wallflower Robin McLeavy aspires to wear…by any means necessary. Superb gore effects – some explicit, some implied – accent a wealth of fine performances, with McLeavy and perverted pater John Brumpton taking top marks while the quaintly comic mispairing of loveable loser Richard Wilson and goth hottie Jessica McNamee perfectly offsets the madness. Since its triumphant debut at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2009, this wickedly twisted “John Hughes meets torture porn” treat from Down Under has been laboring to find its way Stateside. After a semi-successful TUGG release this summer, whereby fans lobbied to have the film screened in their communities, U.S. horror geeks will finally be able to check out the candy colored carnage for themselves. (Paramount has announced a BR/DVD release date of Sept 11.) Highly recommended.

EXIT HUMANITY (2011) review

Exit Humanity (2011) (1st viewing) d. Geddes, John (Canada)

There’s little denying the skilled craftsmanship of writer/director Geddes’ civil war zombie flick – the opening sequence alone, wherein Brian Cox soberly intones the narration of a recently discovered journal, immediately vanquishes any thoughts of just another DIY gutmuncher. With a sepia-drenched color palette and vivid animated montages detailing survivor Mark Gibson’s adventures amongst the walking dead, the film’s subtitle of “A Zombie Saga” bear no trace of hyperbole; this is more thoughtful survivalist drama than thrill ride horror flick.

Yet, even approached with that mindset, it’s hard to defend the excessive 113-minute running time considering that the character-based yarn takes Cox’s laconic phrasings as its internal metronome and is peopled with stock types as opposed to empathetic individuals. Among the several fan faves on hand, Bill Moseley and Dee Wallace turn in subtle, nuanced work as a twisted general and a soothsayer, respectively, but their characters are too hastily sketched to make much of an impression. (By contrast, Stephen McHattie seems to be memorizing lines for another project during his brief mumbling screen time as a field medic.)

The film rests squarely upon the shoulders of capable but limited newcomer Gibson whose frequent cries of anguish are indistinguishable from his frequent cries of anger or frequent cries of attack. An impressive but muted effort, inspiring more admiration at its innovative approach than genuine enthusiasm.

DINOSAUR ISLAND (1994) review

Dinosaur Island (1994) (1st viewing) d. Wynorski, Jim / Ray, Fred Olen (USA)

One look at the directors’ credits should tell you what you’re in for. Yes, the comedy team of Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski, those purveyors of energetic, bouncy, low budget fun, ride the Jurassic Park gravy train with a bevy of bountiful babes who just can’t seem to keep their clothes on and “dinosaurs genetically engineered and trained by” f/x whiz John Carl Buechler. (Read as: hand puppets and a smattering of dodgy stop motion animation. If the T-Rex seems a little familiar, you probably saw it in 1993’s Carnosaur.) The anemic plot: a small military plane containing hard-nosed Ross Hagen and a shiftless trio of brig-bound bozos (Richard Gabai, Peter Spellos, Tom Shell) crash lands on an uncharted island inhabited entirely by prehistoric beasts and fur bikini-wearing beauts (namely Michelle Bauer, Antonia Dorian, Griffin Drew, Toni Naples and Nikki Fritz). After a series of (un)wisecracking misadventures – Gabai’s “witty” retorts will wear out your throwing arm – the boobs pair off with the babes and the film’s remaining run time trades between episodes of fleshy canoodling and flesh eating carnivores. Classic late-night Skinemax entertainment the way it used to be done.

CREATURE (2011) review

Creature (2011) (1st viewing) d. Andrews, Fred M. (USA)

A sextet of young dumb pretty ones heading for New Orleans take a detour to visit a tourist trap attraction concerning a half man/half alligator swamp legend known as Grimley. After a brief encounter with grizzled storekeeper Sid Haig (aka Captain Spaulding goes South) and cronies, they discover the fabled cabin in the woods and foolishly decide to camp nearby. Exploitation and evisceration ensue. Roll credits.

Considering the amount of rage and bile spewed in its direction upon release last year, I was fully expecting this to be absolute torture to sit through. But with dialed down expectations and a firm beer n’ pizza mindset, Fred Andrews’ directorial debut (co-scripted with Tracy Morse) proves entirely watchable, with plenty of boobs, blood and beasts to go around. Is the mossy monster clearly a guy in a suit? Sure. Are the characters lame? Yes. Is the happy ending ridiculous? Absolutely. Are there more than a couple logistical leaps and skeevy character quirks? Ayup. And yet, and yet... While I would never call it a “good” movie, I’ve certainly seen less done with more. It’s puzzling that fans can get all gooey over “old school” throwbacks like Hatchet and its goddawful sequel, but substitute a mutated Gator Man for Victor Crowley and the goodwill spirals down the drain.

HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE (1973) review

Hunchback of the Morgue, The (1973) (2nd viewing) d. Aguirre, Javier

Naschy plays the titular walking infirmity as a sensitive, lovelorn suitor who brings flowers every day to his favorite fatally ill female patient, the only person to show him kindness. After she expires, he secrets her corpse away from prying eyes, but mad scientist Alberto Dalbés promises to resurrect her in exchange for a few body parts here and there. You see, Dalbés is creating a new species of life form in his underground lair, a bubbling, bellowing beastie whose offscreen cries recall a wicked encounter with undercooked Spanish cuisine (BLEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!) The results are an energetic and gory good time, unless you happen to be one of the many rats that Naschy & Co. set ablaze for their squealing production value. There is no doubt animals were harmed in the making of this film.

NIGHT OF THE HOWLING BEAST (1975) review

Night of the Howling Beast (1975) (2nd viewing) d. Iglesias, Miguel

Naschy stars in his fifth installment of the ongoing adventures of tortured lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky, this time leading a Himalayan expedition which runs afoul of inclement weather, roving bands of marauders…and yetis. Naschy is bitten by a couple of nubile, scantily clad, cave-dwelling wolf women and transforms into his venerable wolfman character (shocker, that), which comes in handy when battling bloodthirsty cult members (who employ some nasty back-flaying practices) and abominable snowmen. Throughout the engaging adventure, I found myself wondering what might happen were a bigfoot to be bitten by a werewolf…and getting legitimately excited by the prospect. Sadly, the answer is not revealed here, but it remains enjoyably furry fare, directed by Iglesias under his “M. I. Bonns” moniker.

NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF (1981) review

Night of the Werewolf (aka The Craving) (1981) (1st viewing) d. Molina, Jacinto

This enjoyably souped-up redux of 1971’s The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Women (which also starred Naschy) is directed by the actor himself (under his given name), and features one of the best wolfman makeups in the series, with great attention given to the lycan eyes and ears. Following a prologue featuring Waldemar Daninsky (Naschy) and Elizabeth Bathory’s (Julia Saly) execution centuries before, three college girls conspire to locate the dastardly duo’s final resting places and resurrect the fatal femme. As the nubile group’s leader, Silvia Aguilar makes quite an impression with her acting abilities and her god-given assets, both of which she uses to great effect throughout. Waldemar comes back to life as well and, after tearing up several villagers, falls for good girl Azucena Hernandez and defends her against Bathory’s nefarious intentions (that whole blood bathing thing). Good stuff.

ON VAMPYRES AND OTHER SYMPTOMS (2011) review

On Vampyres and Other Symptoms (2011) (1st viewing) d. Novis, Celia

Is it a documentary? Is it an art house pic? Is it a portrait of an artist in his sunset years? Is it a commission from the Sitges Film Festival on one of their own? Is it a tribute to a relatively obscure horror director (Jose Ramon Larraz) known primarily for making one of the worthier lesbian bloodsucker pictures (Vampyres, 1975)? Does it feature shots of that film’s nubile stars, Anulka Dubinska and Marianne Morris, now 35 years older, inexplicably running down hotel hallways? Does it feature stark black and white comic book panels depicting Larraz meeting famed director Josef von Sternberg in his youth, a chance encounter that led to the former becoming a filmmaker himself? Does it culminate with Larraz receiving a lifetime achievement award at Sitges? The answer to all of these questions is “yes,” and yet, perhaps because of that, the end result seems to obscure as much about its subject as it reveals. While Novis’ unconventional approach deserves merit for its own sake, one cannot help but feel that the full story has been left untold or that, maybe, just maybe, a man with only two significant international credits (1974’s lesser known Symptoms) wasn’t much of a documentary subject.

STRIGOI (2009) review

Strigoi (2009) (1st viewing) d. Jackson, Faye

Bizarre little UK vampire film set in Romania (the performers speak their lines in English through oft-impenetrably thick accents, an odd choice to be sure) that conjures memories of The Wicker Man in its intensely collusive community and wry, unblinking dark humor. However, the rules of these bloodsuckers are a little sketchier, and while this may have been by writer/director Jackson’s design (leaving the audience as off-kilter in dealing with supernatural elements as the onscreen characters), the result is troubling in that I found myself asking, “What just happened?” when I probably should have been asking, “What’s going to happen next?” That the living characters are just as quirky and unpredictable as their undead counterparts doesn’t help matters, though it definitely lends a foreign, otherworldly quality to the proceedings. Not wholly satisfying, but still somehow strangely worthwhile.

BEAST WISHES (2012) review

Beast Wishes (2012) (1st viewing) d. Dietz, Frank / Geiger, Trish

An affectionate look at one of the most beloved elder statesmen in the realm of horror and sci-fi nostalgia. Bob Burns, along with his devoted and equally passionate wife Kathy, has ended up the de facto curator of countless (and priceless) treasured props and costumes from over 50 years of sci-fi/horror genre cinema. Residing within the Burns’ basement are artifacts ranging from the original 1933 Kong stop-motion armature to the actual Time Machine from George Pal’s eponymous movie to a wealth of original set pieces from Alien, but the real marvel is the amount of sheer heart this dynamic duo impart to all who have crossed their path. Their cheering section includes a roster as luminous as their collection: everyone from Rick Baker to Tom Woodruff to John Landis to Joe Dante to Greg Nicotero have nothing but glowing memories of Bob and Kathy, and they are likewise thrilled to have the opportunity to reveal them on- camera. Great stories and wow-worthy items share the stage with footage from the couple’s elaborate annual haunted house attraction (which utilizes the skills of some of the finest craftsmen in the business, all working gratis). A terrific doc even for non card-carrying Monster Kids.

CANNIBAL GIRLS (1973) review

Cannibal Girls (1973) (1st viewing) d. Reitman, Ivan

“They do EXACTLY what you think they do!” Before he acquired the golden touch with smart, snappy winners like Stripes, Meatballs and Ghostbusters, director Reitman toiled on this uneven horror comedy, featuring future SCTV stars Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin as a groovy guitarist and his whinging gal pal who spend a romantic getaway at a remote and mysterious bed & breakfast. Because it never quite commits to a specific course (and because much of the dialogue was reputedly improvised), the comic bits never really catch fire and the loosey goosey ramblings leave the chills out in the cold. On the plus side, the titular trio of crunchin’ munchin’ Bonnie Nelson, Randall Carpenter, and sexymama brunette Mira Pawluk keeps interests alive whenever they’re onscreen doing their disrobing n’ disemboweling thing, and there is a certain freakish attraction to seeing the American Pie franchise veteran sporting an impossibly lush white-guy ’fro and ’stache. (The unrecognizable Levy’s voice even seems dubbed at times.) In the end, this is more curiosity piece than forgotten gem, a glimpse at better things to come.

TRUTH OR DARE (aka TRUTH OR DIE) (2012) review

Truth or Dare (aka Truth or Die)(2012) d. Heath, Robert (UK)

Basically a reworking of the nerd-takes-revenge 80s slasher scenario for the torture porn generation, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing when handled with such a sure hand. When the local misfit is humiliated and abused at the final after-school party, it sets off a chain of events that culminate in his tormentors being called to a remote country estate where justice is meted out by the outcast’s hunkier older brother (played by The Borgias’ David Oakes). While the material is well traveled terrain indeed, director Heath and writer Matthew McGuchan manage to pull off enough cringe-worthy scenes of agony and a genuinely surprising third act to make it worth your while. The performances by tormentors and tormented alike are solid, with Jennie Jacques’ slatternly bitchy babe leading the pack.

THE BUTTERFLY ROOM (2012) review

Butterfly Room, The (2012) (1st viewing) d. Zarantanello, Jonathan (Italy/USA)
Barbara Steele’s first horror role in three decades (not counting the 1991 Dark Shadows reboot) is reason enough for rejoicing, but the fact that the 74-year-old icon carries the creepy, physically demanding role it off with such ferocity and dedication makes it doubly pleasing. Basically a revisiting of the “hag horror” mini-wave of the 60s, Steele stars as a deranged and volatile collector of butterflies and little girls who has her eye out for yet another specimen to add to her trophy room. Writer/director Zarantello has a terrific visual eye, as evidenced by several well-constructed suspense scenes, and guides his elegant starlet to one of the finest roles of her long career, full stop. Unfortunately, he has less luck with his supporting cast which he has affectionately peopled with convention regulars such as Heather Langenkamp, Camille Keaton, P.J. Soles and Erica Leerhsen (who is just goddawful, sad to say), though the always-welcome Ray Wise knocks his scenes out of the park, especially when paired with Steele. The film itself isn’t 100% successful, but there’s no denying that the old gal’s still got it in her.

FANTASIA 2012 - The Whole Magilla

Ladies and Gents, here's the whole Fantasia experience in one compact locale for your and my future clicking convenience. Thanks for taking the ride!

CLICK ON THE DATE LINK TO BE TAKEN TO THAT DAY'S BLOG POSTING

DAY 1 Thursday, July 19
And so it begins...

Movies: For Love's Sake, Dragon

Fantasia 2012 Award Winners Announced!

The 16th edition of the Fantasia International Film Festival is now officially concluded.

And the winners are...

Cheval Noir Award for Best Film:
DOOMSDAY BOOK by Kim Jee-woon and Yim Pil-sung

Best Director: Jason Banker, TOAD ROAD
Best Screenplay: Alberto Marini, SLEEP TIGHT
Best Actor: James Davidson, TOAD ROAD
Best Actress: Majiana Jankovic, BEAST
Special Mention: AnnaLynne McCord, EXCISION

New Flesh Award for Best First Feature:
CRAVE d. Charles de Lauzirika
Special Mention: THE KING OF PIGS d. Yeon Sang-ho

Satoshi Kon Award for Achievement in Animation (Feature):
THE KING OF PIGS d. Yeon Sang-ho

Best Animated Short Film:
IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY d. Don Hertzfeldt

Special Award for Technical Accomplishment:
BYDLO d. Patrick Bouchard

Best International Short:
VIDEOBOY d. Stian Christians
Special Mention: LEYENDA d. Pau Teixidor

AQCC - Asian Section Prize:
11/25 THE DAY MISHIMA CHOSE HIS OWN FATE d. Koji Wakamatsu
Special Mention:
HENGE d. Hajime Ohata, MONDOMANILA d. Khavn De La Cruz

Séquences Prize:
HAIL d. Amiel Courtin-Wilson

L’Écran Fantastique Prize:
BLOOD-C: THE LAST DARK d. Naoyoshi Shiotani

LET'S-MAKE-THE-TEACHER-HAVE-A-MISCARRIAGE CLUB review

Let's-Make-The-Teacher-Have-A-Miscarriage Club (2010) d. Naito, Eisuke (Japan)

A discomfiting blend of The Bad Seed and The Children’s Hour, where peer pressure, perceived “innocence of youth” and fear of one’s own body play equal roles. A quintet of elementary school girls form the titular group in protest of the “gross” notion of their pregnant homeroom teacher (Aki Miyata) having sex and/or procreating, their attacks growing increasingly sinister and lethal. (As their sociopathic leader, Kaori Kobayashi paints a vivid portrait of a young lady wrestling with her own terrifying femininity).

While writer/director Naito’s camera techniques are more than a little shaky (literally), the concept’s raw power – both of casually amoral youngsters and adults’ willingness to excuse their actions rather than confront the truth – is chilling in its simplicity. A cowed school board, parents in deep denial and the emotional heat of hormonal imbalance create the perfect breeding ground for adolescent evil to hold sway. Best of all, Naito doesn’t feel compelled to unnecessarily pad out the running time – at 62 minutes, he’s told the story he came to tell and told it well.