PUPPETMASTER III: TOULON'S REVENGE (1991) movie review

Puppetmaster III: Toulon's Revenge (1991) David DeCoteau (USA)

True story: Prior to tackling this for this month's Kryptic Army mission theme (that of "revenge), I’d only seen the original 1989 Puppet Master and that viewing was at least 10 years in the rearview. However, having read Gert Verbeeck’s outstanding retrospective of the series for HorrorHound back in 2012, I had learned that this installment was 1) a prequel, so I wouldn’t be lost by o’erleaping the first sequel and 2) many fans consider this the high point of the franchise. Thus bolstered, I ventured in and I gotta admit, it was pretty entertaining.

SCREAMING IN HIGH HEELS (2012) movie review

Screaming in High Heels: The Rise and Fall of the Scream Queen era (2011) d. Collum, Jason Paul

The three most influential, successful and beloved actresses ever to bear the title of “scream queen,” Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer, are given their rightful due in this insightful, good natured documentary which examines the ladies’ distinctive charms and the circumstances surrounding their respective rise to cult stardom. Assembling a startling amount of video clips and interview footage, Cullom (aided immeasurably by Derrick Carey’s pitch perfect editing) celebrates the charming femmes alongside various players in the direct-to-video 80s boom (Fred Olen Ray, Jim Wynorski, etc), granting these artists some long overdue respect. Far from bimbos, the trio of top-popping thespians reveal themselves to be congenial, intelligent, well-spoken and self-aware women with no regrets about the legacy they’ve left behind. If you weren’t under their spell already, you will be come the final credits crawl.

DINOSAUR ISLAND (1994) review

Dinosaur Island (1994) (1st viewing) d. Wynorski, Jim / Ray, Fred Olen (USA)

One look at the directors’ credits should tell you what you’re in for. Yes, the comedy team of Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski, those purveyors of energetic, bouncy, low budget fun, ride the Jurassic Park gravy train with a bevy of bountiful babes who just can’t seem to keep their clothes on and “dinosaurs genetically engineered and trained by” f/x whiz John Carl Buechler. (Read as: hand puppets and a smattering of dodgy stop motion animation. If the T-Rex seems a little familiar, you probably saw it in 1993’s Carnosaur.) The anemic plot: a small military plane containing hard-nosed Ross Hagen and a shiftless trio of brig-bound bozos (Richard Gabai, Peter Spellos, Tom Shell) crash lands on an uncharted island inhabited entirely by prehistoric beasts and fur bikini-wearing beauts (namely Michelle Bauer, Antonia Dorian, Griffin Drew, Toni Naples and Nikki Fritz). After a series of (un)wisecracking misadventures – Gabai’s “witty” retorts will wear out your throwing arm – the boobs pair off with the babes and the film’s remaining run time trades between episodes of fleshy canoodling and flesh eating carnivores. Classic late-night Skinemax entertainment the way it used to be done.