HAPPY TURKEY DAY: PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1957), HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964), and THINGS (1989)!!!

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1957) d. Edward D. Wood, Jr. (USA)
THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964) d. Del Tenney (USA)
THINGS (1989) d. Andrew Jordan (Canada)

**CLICK HERE TO WATCH FULL YOUTUBE EPISODE**

Tonight, we celebrate that special kind of horror film that lurks in the shadows, often feeling put-upon and unappreciated. Some people call them "bad movies" and deride them with such titles as The Raspberry Awards, but we know that really, they just had a rough upbringing and are merely misunderstood. These are the titles that we call... TURKEYS.

Fool's Views (11/16 – 11/30)

"Um, I'll have the fish..."

Aaaaaaannnnnnd he’s back!

The latter half of November was a rich mix of brows high and low, and everything in between. Due to the ongoing pandemic, the Kitley's Krypt faithful were forced once again to take our semi-annual celebration of All Things Turkey virtual, but the tradition was maintained and a fantastic time was had by all.

Meanwhile, the awards season has begun in earnest, with screeners showering down from the heavens in increasing number. As such, there’s little time to dally, especially when I’m still knocking out Stallone flicks and having impromptu Jennifer Lopez double features in my non-existent spare time. So, let’s get to it!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (5/23 – 5/31)

"Your motivation skills are very persuasive, Fraulein..."

Howdy, folks!

Apologies for the delay. I’ll be honest, I was having a hard time finding motivation casting my mind toward cinematic criticism in light of current events. I hope you are all doing okay. I know it’s been stressful on multiple levels and it’s not like we had a lot in the tank to begin with.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reading numerous statements from organizations, as I’m sure you have, stating their positions on the state of the world and their place in it. For my part, I have been doing my best to show up, shut up, and listen up, because it is not necessarily my voice that needs to be heard at this time but rather my presence as an empathetic and supportive citizen of the world.

When the #metoo movement gained national attention a few years back, I felt confident that I was already on the “right” side. I identified as feminist. Previous October Scare-a-Thons had donated to Planned Parenthood, Resilience, American Women’s Self Defense Organization, and Chicago’s Greenhouse Shelter. I was even a member of an anti-sexual harassment organization, Not In Our House (Chicago). But, to be an effective ally, there was still more I could do. So I did more.

I feel the same way regarding Black Lives Matter. There is absolutely more I can do, more voices to be heard, more lessons to be learned, more action items to be taken, and I am dedicated to being a better ally. As in all things, it’s about gathering information, exploring options, and making choices, decisions, and commitments. I invite all of us to do the same. We can all do better – key word “DO.” Action is everything.

And that’s enough out of me about that.

We have a lot to get to, including the first-ever online version of Turkey Day in May, the first installment of Kicking the Seat’s "Accademia Giallo," another pair of rock docs, and stand-up people doing stand-up, so let’s just dive right in, shall we?

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/16 – 11/30)

Who is this Chuck Norris person and does he have a flashlight?

Howdy, folks!

Racing toward the 2019 finish line, but still need to recap the magic that was November! In addition to wrapping up our (perhaps ill-advised) Chuck Norris marathon, we also participated in our 15th annual Turkey Day with the good folks over at Kitley’s Krypt. FIFTEEN YEARS OF TURKEY, SUCKAHSSSS….

In all seriousness, I feel extraordinarily grateful to have been there from the beginning (or at least when Jon decided to start sharing the pain after two years of enduring it alone), watching the event evolve from a couple of dudes watching flicks and eating Thanksgiving leftovers to a glorious cavalcade of questionable cinematic adventures and delicious gourmet pizzas! There were 17 different varieties this year, including Miso, Paneer, Chili Dog, Crab Rangoon, Breakfast (meat or veggie), Rueben, The Drunken Billy (spaghetti pizza), Jalapeno Popper, Spinach/Artichoke, Italian Beef, Chorizo/Egg, Huevos Rancheros, Poblano/Corn, Mac and Cheese, Biscuits and Gravy, and Western (BBQ w/ sausage, bacon, onion). Many thanks to the rotating repertory of regulars for making the shared ride so enjoyable, and especially to the Kitleys for indulging our vast appetites for a decade and a half.

In other news, my Code of Silence viewing earlier in the month prompted me to dig deeper into director Andrew Davis’ C.V., splitting time between revisits (The Fugitive, Under Siege) and  previously unviewed fare (Holes, The Guardian). For some reason, he seems to have stopped directing since 2006 – not sure what the story is there since the dude was riding pretty high. Love to have him get back in the chair sooner than later.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (5/1 – 5/15)

Hello, troops!

The first half of the month was filled out in grand fashion with various spontaneous groupings of Views, from auto-related thrillers (Fender Bender, Submerged) to surgical theme nights (Scalpel, Suture) to the ongoing exploration of director Richard Fleischer (up to 11 for the year) to our fifth annual Turkey Day in May at the illustrious Krypt of Kitley!

But the biggest inspiration came out of the blue, with the realization that this summer marks the 20th anniversary of The Blair Witch Project's theatrical release. All the more fitting since, earlier this year, I had stumbled across David A. Stern’s The Blair Witch Project: A Dossier at the public library purely by chance and was once again dazzled by how these young filmmakers (Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez, not Heather, Mike, and Josh) created such a deep and enduring mythology out of thin air. Looking forward to spilling a few hundred words in honor of their efforts.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

11/19 – 11/30 (Part 2 of 2) (Last of the Turkey!)

Howdy, folks!

Sorry, got a little distracted there in the real world with zero time to scribble or watch anything over the past couple weeks as I was prepping for and completing the final phase of my Suited Instructor certification with IMPACT Chicago, a extraordinary and empowering women’s self-defense program that is definitely worth your time and energy, whether you are male, female, or non-binary-identifying. Check them out at Impact Chicago.com (or wherever your closest IMPACT chapter is located). http://www.impactselfdefense.org/

With that tidy bit of justifying out of the way, here are the remaining Views for November, which included the glorious gorge-fest that is the Kitley’s Krypt Turkey Day Celebration, now in its 16th year. (I’ve been there since Jon started letting other people join the “fun” in 2005.) We also snuck in a couple more Tom Cruise vehicles along the way, bringing our total for the year to 10 (with more on deck before the clock runs out). And, in keeping with the November Turkey Challenge, we decided to throw a couple Civilians birds on the platter as well. (Hey, when the 40th anniversary of the Star Wars Christmas Special rolls around, you kinda gotta honor that.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/19 – 11/30) (Part 1 of 2)

OMG, so fullllllllll.

Well, that was a month to remember… or maybe one to forget. I completed my November Turkey Challenge right in the nick of time, wrapping up with a grand total of 30 Gobblers, 17 of which were first-time views, and while I can definitely say that “challenge” was the right word for it at times, it was immensely rewarding to explore strange new worlds of awfulness and bold new flavors of cheese. Similarly, it was interesting to settle in, thinking that a Turkey was in order and discovering instead that the film in question really didn’t qualify, being either too competently made (Murderlust), too icky (Entrails of a Virgin), or just not enough fun to recommend to anyone else (Cabin Fever remake). There is foul and there is fowl, and never the twain shall meet.

Due to the sheer volume of views, I’ll be breaking this period into two installments, wrapping things up with the Kitley’s Krypt Turkey Day coverage in the post to follow, so stay tuned!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/13 - 11/18) (with MORE Turkey!)

"You're going to watch THAT....?"

Happy Turkey Day, my friends!

Yes, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, which means I’m getting ready to head west to Aurora (yes, the “Chicago suburb” made famous in Wayne’s World) to partake in my 14th consecutive celebration of the best of the worst at Kitley's Krypt, amidst some of the finest people with the most questionable judgment. So, before we dive into the cinematic stuffing face-first, figured we should recap last week because oh, my, my, what a week it was. It was a glorious combo of good, bad, and ugly, capped by Jason Coffman’s 10-film gorgefest known as the Tomorrow Romance Halloween Marathon. (I only made it through six before tapping out, but I was happy to have been there longer than my schedule had ever allowed me before. Those half-dozen are designated with a (*).

Along with that, we tackled a quartet of Boris Karloff flicks (his final four, in fact), along with an additional Soderbergh and Argento flick each, taking our totals to six and four for the year, respectively.

Enough of my yakking – time to get on the road! Gobble gobble!

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/1 - 11/12) (with Turkey!)

Who's hungry?

Welcome back, everyone!

Usually, my November reports start off with the obligatory, “After the madness that was October…” but this year actually wasn’t too bad. Maybe I’m finally starting to get the hang of this Scare-A-Thon thing after nearly a decade? Thanks to everyone for their incredible support – financial and emotional – and looking forward to next year already.

Perhaps due to the lack of burnout or maybe it was just the caliber of Blu-ray and DVD screeners coming my way, but I felt inspired to attempt a new Challenge for the month. As longtime readers know, November has been the occasion for the watching of many a Turkey, particularly on the Friday following Thanksgiving aka Turkey Day at Kitley’s Krypt, which will be celebrating its 16th annual outing this year and I hear the line-up is a doozy. Back in the days of the IMDb horror message boards (R.I.P.), there used to be something called the Annual Turkey Hunt, where participants watched as many bad horror flicks (with a 4.0 rating or lower) as possible, with additional points for trifectas (watching three or more films from the same low-grade director).

I have not done the Hunt for years, due to the fact that the 4.0 rating scale is no longer a reliable indicator for finding a true Turkey. For me, there is still an intrinsic “quality” rating scale based on actual moviemaking competence, which does not have a direct correlation to the inherent “awesomeness” that a film due to its INcompetence. The Giant Claw (4.3) and Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein (4.2) are not “good” movies by any stretch, but they are AWESOME Turkeys. So, rather than agonizing through truly bad (i.e. boring) flicks, I’m electing to enjoy a month of “so bad its good” material, as well as the usual assortment of “legit” Horror and Civilian stuff as well. Hope you dig.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (4/1 – 5/31) (Part 2 of 2)

All right! Back for round two!

My Steven Soderbergh extravaganza was inspired, in fact, by my recent viewing of David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis, where I thought, "I wonder if I can find Schizopolis as well." (Yes, this is how my mind works. You're just lucky I didn't also decide to pop in Fritz Lang's Metropolis and/or the Jim Wynorski documentary, Popatopolis.)

With regard to the half-dozen Kurt Russell flicks, that was born of a recent conversation with my good pal John Pata where we were talking about the recent Overboard remake starring Anna Faris, and I confessed that I had never seen the original with Himself and Goldie Hawn. I then went on to confess that I was pretty light on the Kurtiverse as a whole, and so rattled through IMDb and the Chicago Public Library shelves to see what all I could track down.

Here's the thing, though: I don't understand the mystique about Kurt. I find him to be completely capable yet hardly distinctive. I feel, with the exception of his features with John Carpenter (minus Escape from L.A., because ohmygodthatmovie), he's always doing his Kurt thing which I don't find all that interesting, much less A-list material. I find myself imagining other actors in the roles that he plays and that's never a good thing. I figured I must be missing something, but six more films under my belt (plus The Fate of the Furious, watched the first week in June) has done little to change my mind. Ah well.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth - we'll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/1 – 11/30)

Hello, my friends!

Running out of 2017! Keeping it short this time around, both in terms of write-ups and intros, but happy to report that I got a ton of flicks in – the same number as I did for the October Challenge, as fate would have it. Thanks to the packed schedules that comprised the inaugural voyage of Cinepocalypse at the Music Box and the 15th annual Gobblerfest known as Turkey Day, as well as an impromptu Michael Haneke film festival (inspired by a short film I recently shot called So I Watch You from Afar, which was itself inspired by Haneke’s Cache), the numbers tallied up to a respectable monthly tally in a year that has seen precious few of them.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (5/1 - 5/31)

The rush to find good seats for Turkey Day gets more challenging every year!

Greetings, my friends!

Well, life returned to semi-normal, following the whirlwind world tour that was April. In fact, the biggest difference was that due to the femalien having a mite bit of knee surgery (nothing serious and completely planned), she was required to spend time on the couch in the evenings so that she could use her passive-motion machine to keep any scar tissue from building up. And, well, if you’re going to be spending time on the couch, you might as well be watching movies, right? As a result, I think she watched more movies this past month than she might have in the previous six, including many of those listed below and a couple more on her own! Who knows, maybe she’ll get her own blog started before long.

This past month also marked our 3rd Annual Turkey Day in May (held, as tradition dictates, in the Kryptic Konfines) with plenty of delicious homemade pizzas and terrible/terribly entertaining films enjoyed alongside my fellow bold and brain-dead pals. Among them being Hellbent for Horror's Scott Bradley, who flew all the way from San Francisco to join the festivities, thereby stealing the crown from Hidden Horror contributor Craig J. Clark for "Furthest Distance Traveled for Turkey." Believe it or not, the lovely bride was even in attendance for the first time ever - we were wondering if Hell was going to freeze over or if her head would explode, but neither occurred. Miracles never cease.

Crammed in five more Kurosawa efforts, as well as an assortment of “hey, I’ve never seen that and hey, there it is on the library shelf” (Cast Away, Muppet Treasure Island, Man of La Mancha, although the latter was also tied into my ongoing Peter O’Toole festival, which may be losing steam – we shall see.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/1 – 11/30)

Things we are thankful for....

Howdy, folks,

Well, after the whirlwind that was October, with its random trips to foreign countries and the glories of SCARE-A-THON 2016 (as well as the premiere of the Doc’s foray into reality television, the Shout! Factory-produced HORROR HUNTERS, available for viewing HERE), November presented itself as a semi-return to normalcy. Or at least what serves as the “new normal” these days – only managed to get in a total of 23 viewings for the month as opposed to the headier days of the past where double that was not uncommon. But, hey, we’ll take it and be happy that it wasn’t less, right?

We’re heading into the final lap of 2016, so we’ll keep these short and sweet in the interest of sneaking a few more flicks onto the plate before the clock tolls midnight. Happy to expand my thoughts further should any be so inclined for the conversation! In other words…

Please feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (5/1 – 5/31)

Howdy, pardners,

May was an interesting month, with the flickers coming in fits and starts, and none of them before the halfway point following my return from Barcelona. (Flying back on Air Canada, we were denied the anticipated glory of in-flight entertainment and had to settle for – sigh – READING. Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land, in case anyone was wondering.) The Enlightened Warrior Training Camp experience kept me more-than-occupied while abroad, and once I had returned, there was little time to enjoy the recliner since I had a ton of personal training sessions to make up for having been gone for two glorious weeks in the Spanish countryside.

However, the joy that marked the second annual Turkey Day in May festival out in the Krypt du Kitley delivered the goods (and another seven titles) and the Memorial Day weekend allowed for sufficient chill time to enjoy a few civilian treats as well. (My Jason Bateman festival, by the way, is pretty nigh at its completion. Couple more on the list, but I think I’ve pretty much seen all I need to see for now. That said, it might be time to renew my Robert Aldrich exploration – still quite the unexplored bounty there.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/1 – 11/30)

Digging our way out...

Howdy folks!

I had such good intentions to renew the normal Fool’s Views regimen once the October Challenge concluded, seeing as how I’d built up a good routine and knew I wouldn’t be watching as many movies. Unfortunately, the fact that I wasn’t taking in as many Views made it all too easy to become complacent and there were the added pressures of beginning my personal training practice to factor in. But mostly, it just comes down to a growing lack of interest in putting butt to chair in the service of spilling words about the moving image. There are others out there doing it better, with greater skill and consistency, and I find I’m less and less concerned with consuming flicks with the ardor of days gone by. The sound you’re hearing may be the final tolling of the FV and H101 bells. We shall see what 2016 has in store.

In the meantime, here are the November Views (only a month late), which included a retrospective of NYC filmmaker Larry Fessenden (thanks to Shout! Factory’s recent box set), a little Bond, and a whole lotta Turkey. As it should be.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (5/1 – 5/31)

Remember those April showers? Yeah, May is when the wheels really came off, as Shout! Factory, Severin, Synapse, and Arrow all decided to release a wealth of home video gold that all landed in my lap at once… just as I was starting rehearsals for To Kill a Mockingbird with Oak Park Festival Theatre. Of course. 

Then an impromptu movie party at Kitley’s Krypt turned into an impromptu Gobblerfest hereafter to be known as Turkey Day in May. And to further compound my mirthful misery, the month kicked off with the 3rd Annual Chicago Critics Film Festival, which saw me at the historic Music Box Theatre every night for the entire week, tallying 20 flicks in all.

The CCFF marked the first time I’d seen a movie in the cinema since January (WTF), and the month ended as it began, taking in the magnificence splendor that was Mad Max: Fury Road and Ex Machina, as well as the Chicago Cinema Society's screening of Der Samurai.

I also shared the mike with Kicking the Seat’s Ian Simmons to discuss the train wreck that is The Human Centipede 3, a sad affair since both of us are/were big fans of the first two installments. You can hear our grousing HERE.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

AC fends off the screeners with his usual gusto

Fool's Views (11/1 – 11/30)

HOLY CRAP HE'S BACK!!!!!

Howdy folks!

Only watched 20 films during the entire month of November, 11 of which were consumed over the course of two separate days over at Kitley’s Krypt. First, there was the relatively impromptu Pete Walker film festival (due to Jon’s upcoming Evilspeak article), followed a mere six days later by the epic annual gobblerfest known as Turkey Day. Come to think of it, another four of the remaining nine movies were seen in a single day, having taken myself to the multiplex. Of the remaining five, two were classic Spielberg comfort food watched with the femalien and one was Another Robert Redford Movie, leaving only Monkey Shines (reviewed for Shout! Factory) and Now You See Me (watched while killing time during a platelet donation that preceded – and almost pre-empted – the Walker-thon). No, there’s no real method to the madness, but I do leave a pretty solid paper trail.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/25 - 12/1) (with Turkey!)

Howdy, folks,

With HIDDEN HORROR is about to take flight, Noises Off destroying Milwaukee audiences with unfettered hilarity, and a certain holiday celebrating thankfulness (followed by the annual pilgrimage to Kitley’s Krypt to assault eyes, brains, and stomachs known as Turkey Day), it turned out to be a good week for the Views. Like any self-respecting Thanksgiving feast, a balanced menu of horror and civilian offerings left me satisfied and built up my appetite for the remainder of the year. Doubtful we’ll reach to our usual 400+ films/year ratio, but I’m confident we’ll break 300; considering the bounty of offscreen adventures in 2013, that’s a tally I can live with.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (11/12 - 11/25) (Turkeys and Toons!)

NOVEMBER TURKEYS, PART DEUX:

Fool's Views (11/28 – 12-4)...with MORE Turkey!

Welcome back, peeps and peepettes,

As promised, following the spirit and excess of a certain Thanksgiving holiday, the feasting that began at Chateau de Kitley spilled into the next week as I continued to gobble the cinematic gobblers. Most of said beasties were provided courtesy of Netflix’s streaming service, although I was not above digging into my own private stash to round out the dishes. (In the spirit of full disclosure, IMDb’s Turkey Challenge earns an additional 5 points for “trifectas” featuring the same director or turkeys from a franchise, hence the comedy team of Uwe, Larry and Noriaki.) But, after the calendar page finally flipped, we also indulged in some “legit” horrors, all of which delivered the goods in their own individual fashion – not a stinker in the bunch…although according to some of my fellow blood brethren, that assessment might not be universal. Check ‘em out, see what you think.

As always feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll be sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!