Tuesday, October 3, 2017

RED RIDING HOOD (2011) movie review

Red Riding Hood (2011) d. Hardwicke, Catherine (USA) (1st viewing) 100 min

Yes, it’s a spin on the classic fairy tale... as told by the director of Twilight. Trust me, those words also struck dread into my blood-lovin’ heart, but I had stumbled upon one of those fabled “best werewolf movies” lists on the wild, wild west that we know as the Interwebs and it had been mentioned favorably and I’m on a little werewolf kick right now and I didn’t HATE the two Twilight movies I saw and the cast included Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen, Lukas Haas, and Julie Christie, so....

You can take a pass, folks. (I know, I know, most of you already did.) The story is lumpy and as generic as they come: Fetching young lass Seyfried (all big eyes and heaving breasts) is betrothed to another but in love with her hot young childhood friend (Shiloh Fernandez), and, oh yeah, there’s a werewolf terrorizing their rustic village of Daggerhorn. The mystery, such as it is, revolves around which of the locals might be the shapeshifting menace, but Hardwicke and screenwriter David Leslie Johnson (Orphan, Wrath of the Titans) are more preoccupied with the perils of period-piece angsty teen love and a Crucible-like sense of provincial hysteria, with neighbor accusing neighbor.

Madsen is wasted in the role of Red’s mom, Christie plays the mysterious grandmother with a twinkle in her eye and a few more sheckles in her bank account, and Oldman eats ALL THE SCENERY as famed witch hunter Father Solomon, sporting an unidentifiable accent. It’s all very pretty and well-produced and boring as hell, in spite of the whirling cameras and immaculately manicured (and telepathic!) CG beasts.


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