Theatre
Bizarre, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Various
After all the hype and build-up over the prospect of six promising horror
directors contributing their talents to an anthology film, the result is a
crashing disappointment – a collection of not-bad shorts that bear no commonality
except their unified missing of presumed dramatic targets.
There’s not a true stinker in the bunch
(though Jeremy Kasten’s ridiculously literal, Udo Kier-featuring framing
devices might just as well been left on the cutting room floor), and equally
so, there is not one of the five tales that rises above its middlin’ brethren.
All exhibit squandered promise, and the fault
for the most part lies in the disparate scripts (written or co-written in five
of the six cases by the directors) that lack a true punchy punchline among
them.
Richard Stanley’s “Mother of
Toads” has atmosphere galore – and Catriona MacCall – but drives a
frustratingly straight narrative line of a witch bewitching her victims.
Buddy Giovinazzo’s “I Love You” has the
opposite problem, wearing a hole in the carpet over its thin breakup story, and
Douglas Buck’s polished “The Accident” lacks any real horror at all, content
with depicting what happens when motorcycle meets Bambi.
Tom Savini’s “Wet Dreams” (with script by
John Esposito) comes closest to actually delivering goods promised, as James
Gill continually experiences nightmares of gruesome emasculation; by contrast,
David Gregory’s “Sweets” has little to no story at all –just a calorie-busting
freak show.
Karim Hussain’s “Vision
Stains” possesses the most intriguing premise of the bunch – a female serial
killer who steals the intraocular fluid of her victims and injects it into her
own eyes, experiencing her prey’s “life flashing before their eyes” and
documenting these stories – so when it sputters out with only the weakest
EC-inspired comeuppance whimper, it’s doubly disheartening.
Were these student films or rank novices,
expectations might not have been so high, but the roster of talent on board
deserves a higher level of scrutiny, and as such, disappointment reigns.
