THE DEAD 2: INDIA (2013) Blu-ray review

The Dead 2: India (2013) d. Howard J. Ford / Jonathan Ford (UK)

The Ford Brothers made a big splash in 2010 with their zombie flick The Dead set in the epic vistas of Africa, chronicling the journey of two human survivors – one American, one African – who must form an uneasy alliance in the face of their common undead enemies. The combination of gorgeous location shooting, solid portrayals, impressive practical and digital f/x, and an atmosphere of sunlight-drenched dread proved a potent one, and the film was embraced by audiences and critics alike. Unfortunately, in this tenuously connected companion piece, the writer/director siblings (with Jonathan again serving as cinematographer) bring nothing new to the table except tired clichés and horrendously mannered performances, neither of which aid their cause.

MR. JONES (2013) Blu-ray Review

Mr. Jones (2013) d. Karl Mueller (USA)

A young couple decide to drop out of society for a spell, retreating to a, wait for it, remote cabin in the woods where Scott (Jon Foster) plans to shoot the “ultimate nature documentary” with himself as the director/star. His inspiration is short-lived; the would-be auteur finds himself simply wandering around, sitting around, laying around, and just generally ticking off Penny (Sarah Jones) with his aimlessness. The discovery of a mysterious artist’s isolated abode, filled with terrifying scarecrow-like effigies, sparks visions of fame and fortune at sharing the notorious Salinger-esque hermit’s story, but some stories aren’t meant to be told....

RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL. 1 (2013) Blu-ray Review

Return to Nuke 'Em High, Vol. 1 (2013) d. Lloyd Kaufman (USA)

Troma movies, almost by their very definition and heritage, seem defiantly designed to be critic-proof. The ramshackle production elements, the purposefully offensive subject matter and humor, the overt liberalism, the in-your-face attitude and self-referentialism, the splattery special effects that manage to be gross without ever approaching realism, and the gratuitous nudity (mustn’t forget the nudity), these have all become recognizable staples in the Troma formula that seemingly caters to the lowest common denominator while delivering its winking subversive message.

IN FEAR (2013) Blu-ray review

In Fear (2013) d. Jeremy Lovering (UK)

Despite its ridiculously generic title, this latest Brit export starts off as one of the more promising white-knuckle thrillers we’ve seen in a while. The set-up is simplicity itself: only a couple weeks into their relationship, a young couple decide to take a road trip to Ireland for a music festival and some camping. Unbeknownst to Lucy (Alice Englert), Tom (Iain De Caestecker) has designs for a romantic getaway at a secluded hotel, directions to said lodging cordially provided by following the establishment’s vehicle. But after being escorted to the hotel’s driveway, the truck departs, leaving our heroes to find their way via helpful handy signs with helpful handy arrows that only lead them deeper into the twisted back roads and helplessly in circles. As night falls and fuel levels slowly ebb, the two young would-be lovers desperately search for a way out. And then Lucy sees a white-masked figure in the dark....

NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR (2013) Blu-ray Review

Nothing Left to Fear (2013) d. Anthony Leonardi III (USA)

When a new pastor (James Tupper) arrives with his wife (Anne Heche) andfamily at the dust blown borders of Stull, Kansas to head up the local congregation, he finds himself unwittingly caught up in a mysterious Wicker Man-type conspiracy with specific designs for his two daughters, Rebecca (Rebekah Brandes) and Mary (Jennifer Stone) Unfortunately, despite screenwriter Jonathan W.C. Mills’ attempts to do something different with the “insiders/outsiders” tropes, the enterprise is submarined by director Anthony Leonardi III’s misdirection of his ensemble and misguided overuse of humdrum swirling black CGI tendrils.

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2 (2013) Blu-ray Review

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013) d. Steven R. Monroe  (USA)

I was a relatively inexperienced exploitation viewer when I first encountered the original 1978 I Spit on Your Grave. As a result, I couldn’t feel the full impact of the beast since the shoddy camerawork, lackluster performances, and middling makeup effects kept me at a distance. I understood that this was a terrible situation that our main character Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton) was in, but the execution of the story itself couldn’t get past the filter of my Hollywood-honed sensibilities. Later, as I consumed more alternative and rough-edged efforts, I revisited the film and was not only more affected, but more impressed by what writer/director Meir Zarchi had been able to capture. Like the child who shies away from the bitterness of coffee yet later grows to appreciate a double expresso, my tastes have either sharpened or dulled (depending on your opinion) to see past the flaws wrought by meager funds and limited experience. I now see I Spit on Your Grave (aka Day of the Woman) as a vital piece of exploitation cinema, a brave, fearless and underrated examination of the reality of rape and the fantasy of revenge.

THE LORDS OF SALEM (2012) Blu-ray Review

Lords of Salem, The (2012) (2nd viewing) d. Zombie, Rob (USA)

Rob Zombie’s sixth feature generated a strong outburst of mixed emotions during its highly anticipated midnight screening at SXSW earlier this year, which I dutifully chronicled HERE. I admired the man for so wholeheartedly embracing his own artistic ideals, but bemoaned that we were subjected to a movie that jangled pell mell down the narrative hill, crumbling and dissipating in dramatic power as it went. In spite of my frustrations, I was eager to revisit the film – something I have yet to cajole myself into doing with his Halloween reboots – to see if it yielded more sustenance with expectations allayed (and a few more hours of sleep under one’s belt).

NO ONE LIVES (2012) movie review

No One Lives (2012) d. Kitamura, Ryuhei (USA)

Fresh off a bungled looting expedition, a skeevy band of crooks led by Lee Tergesen and Derek Magyar cross paths at a Pacific Northwest diner with mysterious road-tripping couple Luke Evans and Laura Ramsey. Looking to come home with something instead of nothing, the villains concoct a half-baked kidnapping scheme...unawares that Evans is a notorious psychopath with his latest victim (Adelaide Clemens) still stashed – and alive – in the back of his car.