Sunday, September 19, 2010

Fool's Views Haikus (8/30 – 9/12)

Hey there, you cool cats,

Slowly starting to get the hang of this pattern. Pretty much, it’s watch a flick whenever you have a chance (preferably two or three) because you never know when you’re going to get to watch the next one. That goes double (as in double feature) when you head to the cinema, which I was actually able to do on three separate occasions these last couple weeks. Overall, I’d say I batted about .500 for the theatrical ventures, with even the less-thans still managing to deliver a quantum of memorable moments (yes, I’m looking at you, EXPENDABLES).

Also got in a dandy little Share the Scare session with amigos Brian, Dan and Coye on Labor Day – was “on call” for the job, so couldn’t go to the theater because that would have necessitated turning off the phone (You hear that, you horrible, horrible people? YOU TURN OFF YOUR PHONE WHEN THE MOVIE STARTS. Ahem, where was I? Oh, yes…) So, thanks for coming over and sharing the avocado burritos and alien bloodbaths, guys.

Again, we’re going with my completely subjective, frustratingly reductive number ratings: first # is for “quality”, second is for “entertainment.” As always, feel free to offer up your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.


Crazies, The (2010)
(1st viewing) d. Eisner, Breck
Capable remake
Slicker, less political
All in all not bad
(7, 7)

Forbidden World (aka Mutant) (1982) (1st viewing) d. Holzman, Allan
Corman creature flick
Impressive gore and goop plus
Nude exposition
(6, 8)

Last Exorcism, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Stamm, Daniel
Mock possession doc
Thrills, chills, good acting and plot
Divisive ending
(8, 8)

New Daughter, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Berdejo, Luis
Dumped to disc but wait
Well-made Costner/monster flick
Deserves second chance
(7, 7)

Piranha 3D (2010) (1st viewing) d. Aja, Alexandre
Gore, boobs, gore, boobs, gore
Tons of killer fish and yet
Should have been more fun
(7, 6)

Salvage (2009) (1st viewing) d. Gough, Lawrence
Science gone awry
Fine performances sell scares
Accents hellish thick
(8, 7)

Box, The (2009)
(1st viewing) d. Kelly, Richard
For a million bucks
Kill a stranger you don’t know
Great set up but blah
(6, 6)

Expendables, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Stallone, Sylvester
Awesome cast ill used
Too much effing shaky-cam
And a script from hell
(5, 4)

Food, Inc. (2008) (1st viewing) d. Kenner, Robert
Big biz expose’
Turns stomach and blows your mind
Folks, they sold us out
(9, 9)

Official Rejection (2009) (1st viewing) d. Osborne, Paul
Film fest madness doc
Artists lose mind, sleep and dough
To get their flick seen
(7, 8)

Rapture, The (1991) (2nd viewing) d. Tolkin, Michael
Brave, unique and cold
End days are here, right or wrong
Mimi Rogers kills
(8, 8)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) (1st viewing) d. Wright, Edgar
Year’s pleasant surprise
Start to finish hoot with zazz
Sharp, fast, funny cast
(8, 9)

13 Frightened Girls (1963) (1st viewing) d. Castle, William
No frights, harmless fun
Younger set espionage
Gimmicks are the girls
(7, 7)

2010 Totals to date: 220 films, 161 1st time views, 130 horrors, 24 cinema

TV :

Twilight Zone – 2 episodes (hour-long eps) (117 total for 2010)
Monty Python’s Flying Circus – 1 episodes (30 total for 2010

The Bridge by John Skipp and Craig Spector


  1. Congrats on almost being caught up!

    Ever since I saw Galaxy of Terror last year, I've been debating whether to seek out Forbidden World. I'm still erring on the side of skipping The Crazies and Piranha 3-D, though. Have yet to find the film that will break my horror remake embargo.

    Here's what I saw during the same period:

    Phantom Lady* (Robert Siodmak, 1944)
    The Sea of Grass* (Elia Kazan, 1947)
    No Way Out* (Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950)
    The Man Between* (Carol Reed, 1953)
    Men in War* (Anthony Mann, 1957)
    The Running Man* (Carol Reed, 1963)
    Andy Warhol's Bad* (Jed Johnson, 1977)
    Outrageous!* (Richard Benner, 1977)
    Cathy's Curse* (Eddy Matalon, 197)
    Return of the Secaucus Seven (John Sayles, 1980)
    Memento (Christopher Nolan, 2000)
    The American* (Anton Corbijn, 2010)
    Time Bandits (Terry Gilliam, 1981)
    The Crimson Permanent Assurance (Terry Gilliam, 1983)
    Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (Terry Jones, 1983)
    Combat Shock* (Buddy Giovinazzo, 1986)
    The Unbelievable Truth* (Hal Hartley, 1989)
    Trust* (Hal Hartley, 1990)
    Beetlejuice (Tim Burton, 1988)
    Machete* (Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis, 2010)
    New York, New York* (Martin Scorsese, 1977)
    Sisters of Death* (Joseph A. Mazzuca, 1977)
    The Road* (John Hillcoat, 2009)

  2. See, I can't embargo the remakes (though I admire your principles), because I want to be able to say yea or nay, being the good ambassador of horror that I am. My feeling is, I need to be able to talk with the "kids" about the new stuff if I expect them to listen to me about the old stuff. And hey, every once in a while, you come across a pretty decent one (last year's MY BLOODY VALENTINE, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and THE UNINVITED (remake of A TALE OF TWO SISTERS) were all actually pretty decent.

    While FW is not on the same level as GoT in terms of star power, I'd say it definitely matches it as a decent sci-fi/horror outing from the Corman factory. No intergalactic worm-raping, but there's still some solid creature effects and goopy gore. I'd say check 'er out.

    Oh, and I finally figured out how to subscribe to your LiveJournal - had to become an LJ member and all that jazz, but I figured it was worth it. I've really enjoyed reading your stuff and while I can't promise to weigh in on everything, I will definitely be more present and looking forward to it.

  3. Yeah. The Box sucked, but I don't like any of Richard Kelly's films. It's a pity, too, because the original story rocks (and it IS a horror story in the EC comics mode), and the adaptation on revival of The Twilight Zone was infinitely better than this movie.

    I haven't seen The Crazies yet, but I don't really like the original, so I don't have any objection to someone remaking it. Howard Hawks once said that you should never remake a good movie, only bad ones. He had something there.

    I wish I had some money right now so I could pick up the new Corman releases, but I don't, so that's that.

  4. Of the new Corman releases, so far I've only bought Death Race 2000, Piranha and Rock 'n' Roll High School. I'm hoping they get around to Hollywood Boulevard sooner rather than later. That's the only pre-Gremlins Joe Dante pic I don't have in my collection yet.

  5. Chris: I think the original CRAZIES has a lot of heart (along with its flaws), whereas the remake is very much in the same vein as the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake. A serviceable action flick using the basic outline of the original film, eschewing any politics and with more proficient actors.

    Also, NETFLIX, baby! I haven't bought any of the Corman flicks - all come courtesy of the Little Red Envelope. Live it, love it.

  6. Craig: I've got the original DVD release of HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD at home, but haven't watched it yet. I bet you could find it on Amazon fairly cheaply, b/c I have to wonder if HB has the same kind of cache as the other titles they've released...

  7. Hey, if Shout! Factory can put out the likes of Starcrash, Deathsport and BattleTruck, then surely they can find room on their release slate for little old Hollywood Boulevard.