THE RAVEN (2012) movie review

Raven, The (2012) (1st viewing) d. McTeigue, James

“John Cusack is Edgar Allan Poe” isn’t really that great of a tagline, but when you couple it with “from the director of V for Vendetta” and a reasonably thorny narrative following a serial killer who seems to be both taunting and drawing inspiration from the infamously troubled scribbler, well, things get a little more appealing. Screenwriting team Ben Livingston and Hannah Shakespeare’s fanciful and fictionalized telling of Poe’s final days does have its memorable moments of suspense and grisly payoff, particularly when focusing on the murders themselves as Cusack throws himself wholeheartedly into the role of amateur detective, especially once his lovely fiancée Alice Eve becomes a pawn in the game. Purists be damned, I thought it was all right.

THE MAGNETIC MONSTER (1953) movie review

Magnetic Monster, The (1953) (1st viewing) d. Siodmak, Curt

Clever little egghead programmer about a newly invented radioactive element that plays havoc with local machinery and, to make matters worse, continually drains the energy around it in order to double in size every 12 hours. In spite of brainiac Richard Carlson’s incessant voiceover, things definitely take off in after all the exposition is out of the way and the path is clear for he and fellow lab coat King Donavan to chase the mysterious property down and find a means of arresting its growth before it (all together now) wipes out life on Earth as we know it.

Strange that this nifty sci-fi curio has flown under the home video radar this long (now finally available through MGM’s Limited Edition Collection), especially considering its pedigree: Carlson (Creature from the Black Lagoon, It Came from Outer Space), Donovan (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), co-writer/director Siodmak (The Wolf Man, House of Frankenstein), producer/co-writer Ivan Tors (TV’s Sea Hunt & Flipper) and an early appearance from character actor extraordinaire, Strother Martin.

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK (2009) movie review

Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009) (1st viewing) d. Soska, Jen / Soska, Sylvia

As one might guess from the title and lead characters dubbed “Badass,” “Geek,” “Druggie,” and “Goody Two Shoes,” subtlety is not the order of the day when approaching the Soska Sisters’ feature debut. On the one hand, there is truth in advertising, since there is in fact a deceased prostitute in a motor vehicle’s posterior storage facility, and much outlandish and surprisingly gory comedic mayhem ensues from said situation. That said, it also seems to be born out of the same tired ready-made neo-exploitation cauldron that has worn out its welcome (at least in this Fool’s eyes), and so I watched with quaint amusement as opposed to the shock and awe presumably intended. Continuity, quality sound, and production value in general are gleefully pitched to the wind, with a sense of “Hey, we’re making a low budget exploitation movie - !#$!#@ off!!!!!” and that’s all good and fine. But I’m more than a little interested in seeing what the twisted twins can come up with for their next service with a net actually in place.

LAO MAO aka THE CAT (1992) movie review

Cat, The (aka Lao Mao) (1992) d. Lam, Ngai Kai

My deepest appreciation to Gert for foisting this one on me. If you’ve ever wondered, “What would it be like if an extraterrestrial cat and his humanoid compatriots were forced to do battle against a crazy blob-like creature, and you didn’t quite know if the furry feline was on the side of nefariousness or righteousness?”, this is the off-the-charts wacko celluloid fever dream for you. To properly celebrate Lao Mao’s giddy vibe defies my feeble powers of description, but for a glimpse into Blisstown, this link to the film’s mid-act rumble between the titular meow-meow and a government-sanctioned hit-dog should serve the turn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc2nfqqjb5A

ABSENTIA (2011) movie review

Absentia (2011) d. Flanagan, Mike

Seven years after the disappearance of her husband, grieving widow Courtney Bell is in the process of legally finalizing his “deceased in absentia” status when he begins to appear to her in increasingly disturbing visions. At the same time, her drifter sister Katie Parker has a number of strange encounters with individuals (including genre fave Doug Jones) in and around a creepy underpass tunnel. Writer/director Flanagan conjures an intriguing horror story with some serious smarts and well-conceived characters going for it, mostly balancing out any obstacles that accompany its clearly diminutive budget.

THE WICKER TREE (2010)

Wicker Tree, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Hardy, Robin

Seriously, I don’t even know where to start in trashing of Hardy’s long-muttered-about follow-up to his occult masterpiece, The Wicker Man. Reaching unimagined levels of face-palming idiocy, it may even trump the notoriously misguided Neil Labute/Nicolas Cage remake of 2006 – one of the more laughable horror efforts in the last 10 years – in sullying its predecessor’s good name.

Even for those not familiar with the 1973 Christopher Lee vehicle (who pops here up in a pointless, fruitless cameo), the presumably mysterious set-up for the sequel is so mustache-twirling obvious that we know EXACTLY what’s going to happen within the first 10 minutes. Even worse, our Texan pair of fresh-scrubbed born-again hicks (Brittania Nicol, Henry Garrett) sent to save the lost heathen souls of Scotland are so dunderheaded and two-dimensional that they generate no sympathy AT ALL. What the original’s protagonist Edward Woodward had going was in spite of his bullheaded Christianity, he was attempting to solve a heinous kidnapping case and therefore commanded viewer alliance regardless of religious persuasion – here, we can’t wait to see these ministerial morons slapped on the barbie.

In addition to the head-scratching use of “crow-cam,” Hardy also attempts to replicate the use of songs interwoven within the narrative fabric; a fascinating device in the ’73 film, but here only a clumsy gambit that settles for hokey hymns and laughable music videos from Nicol’s “scandalous” Faith Hill-like country-pop past. Honeysuckle Weeks shows up in the requisite slatternly top-popping role, but even the fetching (and fetchingly named) Welsh actress’ fine flesh can’t save the day. While undeniably handsomely mounted, this remains a failure of cosmic proportions.

JULIA'S EYES (2010) movie review

Julia's Eyes (aka Los ojos de Julia) (2010) (1st viewing) d. Morales, Guillem

An incredibly atmospheric Spanish horror flick (“presented” by Guillermo del Toro) that ultimately tacks on a few too many unnecessary red herrings and plot contrivances for its own good. Director/co-writer Morales presents a refreshingly original premise about a pair of twin sisters afflicted with a degenerative eye disease – both played by The Orphanage’s remarkable Belén Rueda – one of whom dies in a tragic suicide (or, just maybe, murder). The surviving sibling attempts to retrace her sister’s final days, only to find herself drawn into a web of secrets, lies and well, more murder.

Suspenseful and well acted, it’s only in the third act where things got a little excessive for my tastes, with giallo-like camera machinations intended to obscure the killer’s identity resulting in an eventual Scooby Doo reveal that leaves the viewer asking, “What? Who? Why?” Things come a little back to center for the sentimental denouement, but only after an extended session of being off the rails. Worth seeing, but with reservations.

THE HOLE (2009) movie review

Hole, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Dante, Joe

After being relocated from NYC to a sleepy suburban burg by struggling single mom Teri Polo, sullen teenager Chris Massoglia and pesky little brother Lucas Gamble chance upon a padlocked trapdoor in their new basement, under which lies a mysterious bottomless abyss. Unfortunately, their discovery serves as the uncorking of an evil genie’s bottle, with their individual greatest fears appearing in shadowy but all-too-corporeal form around them. Alongside plucky (and cute) neighbor Haley Bennett and Bruce Dern (in full-on crusty codger mode), they endeavor to vanquish the dark forces, all in superb poke-yer-eye-out/whoa-I’m-falling 3D.

Vacancy screenwriter Mark L. Smith’s sharp script skillfully captures the frustrations of uprooted youth as well as the intangibilities of waking nightmares, and Dante’s splendid onscreen ensemble and f/x teams weave a terrific chill-thrilling spell. In a day and age where solid offerings for juvenile horror fans are a woefully rare commodity, it only makes the current distribution hell that has befallen Gremlins director Dante’s latest effort all the more tragic and frustrating. Seriously, Spielberg, get in there and throw your old pal a Dreamworks release bone, wouldja?

UNCLE SAM (1996) movie review

Uncle Sam (1996) d. Lustig, William

After his body is returned home, KIA Desert Storm vet Sam Harper (David Shark Fralick) rises from his coffin confines on July 4th to wage war against the citizens of his American-as-apple-pie hometown, to the disbelief of his idolizing nephew Christopher Ogden. Turns out “Uncle Sam” wasn’t such a good guy in life, and in his inexplicably resurrected form, he’s twice as nasty, bumping off former friends and neighbors right and left wearing a – you guessed it – red, white and blue top-hat-and-white-goateed costume.

Working from a script by noted rabble-rouser Larry Cohen, Lustig paints a cartoonish and violent paean to the supernatural slasher subgenre, with all the nutritional value and culinary daring of a cinematic cheese dog on a stick. Wants to be good, dumb fun, but mostly just ends up being dumb and dull, despite the game efforts of Isaac Hayes, Timothy Bottoms, Bo Hopkins, and Robert Forster.

THREADS (1984) movie review

Threads (1984) (1st viewing) d. Jackson, Mick

For American viewers growing up in the 80s, the 1983 TV-movie The Day After was the ultimate in nuke scare flicks. Little did I know that the Brits had returned fire with an even more impressive response over their own airwaves the year following, as if to say, “No, this is how you do grim, bleak, apocalyptic terror and desperation.”

With a superb cast of relative unknowns and a documentary style approach, director Jackson and writer Barry Hines unflinchingly portray the days leading up to a nuclear holocaust and its effect on the working class city of Sheffield, England. But it’s after the electrifying and devastating blast sequence that the real horror begins, as beloved characters disappear unexpectedly or suffer agonizingly slow deaths from radiation, starvation or exposure to the nuclear winter that befalls civilization.

The long term effects extend 15 years into the onscreen future, with mankind reduced to a mumbling, fumbling, hobbled species; the children of the bomb inheriting a barren and fruitless landscape. One can only suspect that world leaders moved their hands a little further away from the red button upon seeing this. An undeniably impressive effort, available in its entirety on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MCbTvoNrAg

THE GUARDPOST (aka GP506) movie review

Guardpost, The (aka GP 506) (2008) (1st viewing) d. Kong, Su-chang

When the titular South Korean Army bunker falls incommunicado, an investigative military team is sent in to assess the situation, only to discover a pile of hacked, dismembered corpses and a single deranged survivor. With only a single rainy night to get to the bottom of things and the clock ticking, team leader Cheon Ho-jin (with gravitas to burn) digs through tattered records and gore-streaked remains for answers; rest assured when they ultimately reveal themselves, it ain’t pretty.

Kong, who impressively served up 2004’s military-minded R-Point, works overtime with his flashback-laden narrative, dropping viewers into past/present scenes with little or no warning. Unfortunately, this disorienting effect only manages to confuse more often than not, as the underdeveloped, similarly clad characters seem interchangeable, especially when factoring in the hallucinatory supernatural forces at play. Despite oodles of claustrophobic atmosphere, and an energetic ensemble whose enthusiastic shouts and screams fill the soundtrack as bunker walls run red, the amount of head-scratching elicited during the excessive two-hour run time ultimately proves a little painful.

MOTHER'S DAY (2010) movie review

Mother's Day (2010) (1st viewing) d. Bousman, Darren Lynn

In this day and age of title reappropriation, it consistently confounds me as to why someone would go through the trouble of acquiring the rights to “remake” a lesser-known film when the final product bears only the slightest resemblance to its source material. Such is the case with Saw II, III, IV and Repo! The Genetic Opera director Bousman’s latest, a gleefully nasty home invasion movie that resides miles away from Charles Kaufman’s early Troma black comic rape/revenge flick.

Rebecca de Mornay earns her matriarchal top billing status, lording over a brood of amoral offspring who wage an assault on the new owners (Jaime King, Frank Grillo) of their recently repossessed domicile. As one might expect from Bousman’s pedigree, there is no shortage of squishy, squirmy gore moments, though they are handled in an intriguingly offhand way, at times relegated to the background or edge of frame.

The impressive body-count-to-be performances are all capable enough, though character motivations are sketchy as they attempt to serve screenwriter Scott Milam’s dicey high wire between gritty realistic set-pieces and outlandish thriller scenarios. The end result is a relatively entertaining but decidedly mixed breed.

BLOOD RITES (2011) movie review

Blood Rites (2011) (1st viewing) d. Booraem, Dorothy

Nebraska-based microbudget filmmaker Booraem has concocted a crime drama dipped in a black magic candy coating, the results being satisfyingly twisty and twisted. When a drug deal goes south (hey, even cornhuskers need a buzz now and again), the remaining members of the team hightail it back to an abandoned warehouse to regroup with a trio of Bible-thumping hostages in tow. Whilst licking and/or tending to their wounds, tensions rise, tempers flare, mysterious dark forces arise and exits literally disappear, leaving the small band at odds as options slowly, messily run out.

Booraem and co-writer/co-producer/cinematographer Chad Haufschild make the most of their limited resources without overextending, and while their serpentine script may have a few red herrings too many, there’s no denying their creative impulses both in concept and execution. From the welcome early dose of down-home nudity to the histrionic bloodbath conclusion, adventurous horror fans should demand their Rites post haste.

THE WICKER MAN (1973) movie review

Wicker Man, The (1973) d. Hardy, Robin

In this classic cult chiller, Christopher Lee turns in one of his finest performances (his personal favorite – good thing, since he reportedly did the role for free). Edward Woodward stars as a hard-as-nails Christian cop searching for a missing child on the remote island community of Summerisle, though his investigations turn up something far more sinister. Director Hardy skillfully crafts an atmosphere-drenched mystery, with Paul Giovanni’s songs and music adding an unexpected high-spirited frolic to the dread proceedings. Extraordinary support provided by lovelies Britt Ekland, Ingrid Pitt and Diane Cilento. Loosely adapted by Anthony Shaffer from David Pinner's 1967 novel Ritual (who oddly enough receives no onscreen credit), this is must-see material for any horror fan.

OFFICE KILLER (1997) movie review

Office Killer (1997) d. Sherman, Cindy

After having been memorably terrorized two decades prior in the superb 1979 babysitter freakout When a Stranger Calls, Carol Kane gets her chance to play the other side of the knife in this deliciously dark comedy. As a mousy cubicle jockey who slowly becomes unhinged during a wave of corporate downsizing, Kane is a joy to behold, her artfully misapplied eyebrow pencil and tremulous giggle accenting an ever-growing dark side. For a woman whose job is her life, dispatching one’s rivals seems the logical recourse, and director Sherman (who also conceived the screen story) has a ball in the creative offings department, with a surprisingly name-brand cast serving as cannon fodder: Jeanne Tripplehorne, Molly Ringwald, Michael Imperioli, David Thornton and Fassbinder protégé Barbara Sukowa. Not a game-changer, but a more-than-serviceable time-waster.

HORROR HOTEL (1960) movie review

Horror Hotel (aka The City of the Dead) (1960)d. Moxey, John Llewellyn

Three months after Psycho hit cinemas, this effective, fog-drenched Satanist feature pulled a similar magic trick, doing away with one of its main characters halfway through the film. When young co-ed Venetia Stevenson proposes a paper on New England witchcraft, professor Christopher Lee directs her to the small village of Whitewood…where she quickly finds herself a target of the resident coven. Lee is reassuring and menacing in equal measure, but Patricia Jessel deserves equal attention for her riveting dual role as elder witch and reincarnated modern counterpart. American producers Milton Subotsky (who wrote the screen story with George Baxt scripting) and Max Rosenberg’s first horror effort; its success would lead directly to the creation of Amicus Pictures, the challenger to Hammer’s UK horror crown.

RABIES (2010) movie review

Rabies (aka Kalevet)(2010) d. Keshales, Aharon/Papushado, Navot

The title is a bit of a distraction, but I certainly went mad for this flick, billed as Israel’s first horror effort. (If this is any indication of the blood-blasting instincts of the Promised Land’s population, I say hand over the checkbook and let these kids rock the house.) A group of teens en route to a tennis match, a park ranger and his girlfriend, a homicidal killer and his victim and her brother, and two police officers cross paths again and again and again, with stunning and surprising results. In serving a superbly twisted screenplay in all senses of the word, a wealth of memorable stock characters are tossed together and, through an Altman-like series of close encounters, proceed to slice, dice, hack, shoot and smash each other to bits. Sure there are more than a few scenarios that we’ve seen before in Western horror efforts, but to my mind, half the fun is watching Keshales and Papushado put their own particular stamp on the clichés. Highly recommended.

Fool's Views (8/20 – 9/2)

Howdy folks,

As you might have noticed, the H101 blog has expanded from a strictly Fool’s Views-based weekly wrap-up format to include individual posts about certain films. Hopefully this will not prove tedious for longtime readers – it was a format change I resisted for years, not wanting to clutter up the recaps or be a nuisance posting 5-6 times a day. But my experiences at Fantasia and BIFFF have taught me that the online audience is one seeking immediate gratification through a minimum of keystrokes – they want to read reactions to a certain movie as opposed to a certain movie fan’s ongoing journey, and be able to easily Google search it. And, as was pointed out to me at Fantasia, if the point of writing is to be read, it’s hard to be read when you can’t be found. Apparently, shocking as it might seem, no one is searching for “Fool’s Views” when they are deciding what to watch that night.

Therefore, while I will continue to post my weekly log, you will also be able to find individual postings of each week’s horror Views. Still haven’t decided whether it’s worth my while creating a new blog to showcase the civilian Views – I know I don’t want to clutter up my horror-centric column with a bevy of civilian posts. Still working that one out, but as you can see below, some weeks are lighter on the blood and beasts than others, so we should probably do something, right?

At any rate, we’re back with another go-round. Seems I was playing catch-up this time, covering only flicks from the past few years (including an array of current multiplex fare). Hopefully this won’t offend the history buffs too much – we’ve got plans to do some digging next time around, not to worry.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

PENUMBRA (2011) movie review

Penumbra (2011) (1st viewing) d. Bogliano, Adrián García / Bogliano, Ramiro Garcia (Argentina)

The same day a massive solar eclipse is scheduled to take place, hottie Spanish rich bitch Cristina Brondo heads to Buenos Aires to show a prospective tenant her walk-up sublet, a transaction that reveals itself to be anything but standard. The purveyors of last year’s nitroglycerin-fueled chiller, the Bogliano boys go to great efforts to make their upper middle class protagonist as unlikable as possible (she tazers a homeless guy, reveals she’s having an affair with a married man, and just generally puts off everyone around her), the upshot being that when she finds herself in need of allies, they are few and far between. A well crafted thriller that treads familiar waters until its suckerpunch ending nudges into supernatural straits.

THE APPARITION (2012) movie review

Apparition, The (2012) (1st viewing) d. Lincoln, Todd (USA)

Ashley Greene and Sebastian Stan star as an insufferably plucky couple, full of contemporary badinage and cutesy quarreling, who take up residence in her parents’ desert community subdivision. This lovely glass-and-adobe would-be dream home has the nasty propensity toward cultivating mold, mangling wooden hangers and leveling lovable canines (the latter’s aftermath yielding 2012’s unintentional laugh leader, “Your house killed my dog!”)

It’s clear that writer/director Lincoln would like this to serve as his generation’s Poltergeist – a film it clearly echoes in both setting and subject matter – but instead of moving cemetery headstones, the premise behind the supernatural hijinks lie in Stan’s former college crew’s wrongheaded attempt to recreate a celebrated parapsychological event. (Former Harry Potter alumnus Tom Felton is saddled with the unenviable task of spouting pseudo-scientific gobbledygook and exposition by the truckload, none of which chills or thrills.) Aside from few fresh ideas and images that deserved a better vehicle, Lincoln’s weak dialogue and “that was it?” ending are unlikely to satisfy anyone.