Panic (aka Bakterion) (1982) d. Ricci, Tonio (as Anthony Richmond)
A scientist meddling in things best left alone finds himself transformed into a slobbering, melting, moaning, limping freak lurching around a small English village draining the locals of their precious bodily fluids. Superstud cop David Warbeck (playing a character called…wait for it…Captain Kirk) proceeds to run around the country tracking the invincible beast, who is now inexplicably superstrong and impervious to bullets.
Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds, even with the occasional bloodletting, oozing, or smattering of female nudity, although the “ticking clock” of whether our heroes will be able to corner their quarry before the Army “contains” the town with an air strike of nerve gas is pretty amusing. Got to love it when your credits read: "Monster" effects created by Rino Carboni (with the "Monster" actually in quotes on screen).
Oh man, I'm with you on this one. When I heard the plot (Warbeck tracks slimy monster over small town), I thought it was going to be badass. It was not. Don't the end credits have something like, "Careful! This could happen to you!"
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