ATTACK OF THE SUPER MONSTERS (1982) DVD review

Attack of the Super Monsters (1982) d. Toru Sotyama / Tom Wyner (Japan/USA) (83 min)

In the year 2000, we are informed via sonorous narration, a troop of dinosaurs living underground in a secret cave where they have been “developing an intelligence equal to that of Man and dreadful powers far beyond those of Humankind” finally decides to make their collective move and reclaim dominance over the Earth. With their chortling and taunting (yes, these dinos communicate via spoken word) leader Emperor Tyranus marshaling his minions with an iron claw, the cold-blooded behemoths mount a full-scale assault on our existing civilization, using a variety of brutal and bizarre methods. It’s up to the special forces team of Gemini Command to beat back the monstrous menace and save the day… over and over again.

KISS OF THE VAMPIRE (1963) Blu-ray Review

Kiss of the Vampire (1963) d. Don Sharp (UK) (88 min)

When their automobile runs out of fuel on the way to their honeymoon, newlyweds Marianne (Jennifer Daniel) and Gerald Harcourt (Edward de Souza) find themselves stranded in a remote Bavarian forest. Towed by a horse-drawn wagon to the nearest village, they are invited by the hypnotic and aristocratic Dr. Ravna (Noel Willman) to attend a masked ball at his nearby castle. When Ravna reveals himself to be the leader of a dark arts-worshipping family of vampires, with an eye on Marianne as their most recent recruit, the young couple is plunged into a nightmare of horror and deception with the tortured Professor Zimmer (Clifford Evans) their only potential savior.

Fool's Views (6/16 – 6/30)

"Carrie Bradshaw, I need you!!!"

Howdy, troops!

Rolled into the halfway point of 2020 with a slightly lighter cinematic payload, due in large part to my having committed to a six-month Health Coach certification course, adding another 5-8 hours to my weekly schedule because I had SO MUCH SPARE TIME DON’T YOU KNOW. Ahem. That said, I’m feeling pretty excited and engaged by the new tools I’m acquiring, so no complaints. Plus, since the entirety of the class is conducted remotely via laptop video, it’s almost like I’m watching movies every day, the main difference being that instead of watching evil entities eviscerating everything, I’m instead learning the Axioms of Inflammatory Foods and 50 Fancy Names for Processed Sugar. Not quite as many blood and beasts, but twice as terrifying.

However, we still managed to clock in an even dozen of the flickers, including a second Kryptic Army Mission, a fistful of Jean-Claude, and a trio from the Man of Gold, William Goldman. Hopefully, you’ll find a little something to satisfy your appetites, whatever they might be. If not, we’re already halfway through July, so more Views are on the way!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

Fool's Views (6/1 – 6/15)

"Seriously... you really want me to put on a mask? I feel fine..."

Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac 
A little voice inside my head said, ‘Don’t look back.’

You can never look back.


Hey everybody!

It’s been a crazy summer already, with cities starting to relax their COVID regulations even as the case numbers continue to rise. I feel like I’ve seen this scenario played out hundreds of times in various horror movies where our heroes watch helplessly as government officials make terrible decisions based on political gain rather than genuine concern for their constituents, opportunists seize what is not theirs, and the polite masses stand by to witness their own destruction. Personally, I’m adopting an extremely cautious attitude about all of it, practicing preparedness (not paranoia) and doing my best to stay safe and sane. This Fool is planning on coming out the other side and woe befall Any Other Fool who interferes with my plans.

The first half of June’s Views was dictated in part by Pals with Podcasts, expiring Redbox coupons, Kryptic Army missions, and punnage too juicy to pass up. (To give credit where credit is due, For It Is Man’s Number’s Kevin Matthews did a full month of “June-Claude Van Damme” back in 2018, but since I was the one who came up with the idea for him to do it in the first place, I feel like I can reappropriate it without fear of litigation. We shall see.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!