HORROR 101 with Dr. AC

Fool's Views (1/30 – 2/5)

2012-02-07T14:34:00.000-08:00

Hey troops,

Well, whaddya know, more or less on schedule and with a truckload of flicks as well. Gotta love it.

January came and went without me getting to the cinema once. However, I was finally lured out into the wilds last Friday in order to see one of my favorite trashy horror flicks on the big screen, and it was a magical night. Thanks to Mr. John Pata for scooting his fine behind down to Brewtown and making it happen. Other than that, though, it was all new first-time viewings courtesy of the magic window on the wall or on the desk, and considering the richness of the dishes, I have no complaints at all. Special shout out to fellow fiend Dave Kosanke for hosting one of my favorite synapse-sizzling Views of the week – details below.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

How Awful About Allan (1970) (1st viewing) d. Harrington, Curtis
Anthony Perkins stars as a troubled mental patient, psychosomatically blinded by guilt over having accidentally set his father on fire and scarring sister Julie Harris in the process. After being released to stay with her at the old family abode, Perkins starts to suspect their new boarder is trying to kill him (but cannot identify the assailant due to his infirmity). Though there aren’t a whole lot of surprises, Harrington generates a reasonable amount of tension via scenes viewed through Perkins’ obscured vision, with Joan Hackett lending able support as a former flame.

Panic (1982) (1st viewing) d. Ricci, Tonio (as Anthony Richmond)
A scientist meddling in things best left alone finds himself transformed into a slobbering, melting, moaning, limping freak lurching around a small English village draining the locals of their precious bodily fluids. Superstud cop David Warbeck (playing a character called…wait for it…Captain Kirk) proceeds to run around the country tracking the invincible beast, who is now inexplicably superstrong and impervious to bullets. Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds, even with the occasional bloodletting, oozing, or smattering of female nudity, although the “ticking clock” of whether our heroes will be able to corner their quarry before the Army “contains” the town with an air strike of nerve gas is pretty amusing.

Pieces (1982) (4th viewing) d. Simon, J.P.
“You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre!” screamed the ad line, and boy, they weren’t kidding. This legendary Spanish splatterfest doles out the gore by the bucketload, but what really sets it apart are the astonishing lapses in narrative logic and the wealth of buh-rilliantly inept performances by Christopher George, Susan Day George, Edward Purdom, Paul Smith…heck, pretty much everyone involved! In addition to the already loopy plot about a killer assembling a dream girl from hacked-off sections of his victims, viewers are treated to jaw-dropping onscreen moments that include the most random kung fu attack in cinema history and Day George’s immortal line reading of “Bastard! BAAAAAASTARD! BASTARRRRD!” Seriously, this is must-see material for gorehounds and bad movie lovers alike, and seeing it on the big screen (Milwaukee’s Times Theater) with a great crowd just made it that much better.

Visitor, The (1979) (1st viewing) d. Paradise, Michael J.
Ovido Assonitis, the visionary behind such schlock classics as Beyond the Door, Tentacles (and supposedly a goodly portion of Piranha II: The Spawning), wrote and produced this mind-blowing epic slice of cheese featuring an A-list cast in service of a sci-fi Christian parable comprised of equal parts The Omen, The Bad Seed, Rosemary’s Baby, Ice Castles, The Birds, Close Encounters, The Star Chamber and The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh. While single mother Joanne Nail is wooed by Lance Henriksen’s basketball team owner, her daughter Paige Conner is revealed to be the spawn of an extraterrestrial terrorist hunted in taciturn fashion by godlike John Huston. Glenn Ford, Franco Nero, Mel Ferrer, Shelley Winters, and Sam Peckinpah also engage in the madness, which consists of multiple creative “accidents,” random aviary attacks, randomer ice-rink brawls, big-screen Pong tournaments, rooftop light shows, and one exploding basketball. Nothing makes a lick of sense, but it’s never ever boring (especially when Franco Micalizzi’s inappropriately bombastic score kicks into high gear, which happens early and often). High-five to DK for hooking a Fool up.

THE THRILL OF THE HUNT:

Mutant Hunt (1987) (1st viewing) d. Kincaid, Tim
From the 80s heyday of straight-to-video lunacy comes writer/director Kincaid’s (Breeders, Robot Holocaust) tale of cyborgs-gone-wrong, with healthy doses of futuristic fashion sense, buff dudes with great hair, crappy fight choreography, illicit drug use, impressive practical gore and animatronic f/x, and dum-dum comedy to keep the gears turning. Even so, things get a little boggy in the final stretch, even with the slim 75-minute running time, and while there were ample opportunities and a lot of teasing, bare female flesh is glaringly absent from the proceedings. There’s even a gratuitous shower scene where the lovely lass in question steps out of the stall, the top of her black bikini clearly apparent at the bottom of the frame (odd considering Kincaid’s adult film background, which he would later return to). Still, an entertaining beer n’ chips time-waster from a bygone era.

Wild Hunt, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Franchi, Alexandre
Terrific Canadian indie feature set in the world of LARPing (aka Live Action Role Playing, i.e. turning your average group of Dungeons and Dragons players loose in the countryside to do “battle” armed with foam swords and Renn Faire-speak). What’s most remarkable about Franchi’s script (co-written with star Mark Antony Krupa) is that it both mocks and celebrates the participants’ imagination and dedication to the fantasy world they’ve created. We’re introduced into the pageantry through the eyes of Krupa’s “Viking” character’s younger brother Ricky Mabe, there to retrieve sultry/conflicted girlfriend Tiio Horn who has escaped his clutches to play “captured princess” for the weekend; his overt scorn for the players’ enthusiasm surprisingly endears them further to us, the viewer. As emotions run high, the lines of fantasy and reality are inevitably blurred, whereupon bad things happen to good people in the best tragic ways. Now streaming on Netflix and well worth checking out.

CIVILIAN:

Buried (2010) (1st viewing) d. Cortes, Rodrigo
The same year that James Franco was Oscar-nominated for playing a character whose arm is trapped under a boulder, director Cortes and screenwriter Chris Sparling goes one step further by secreting Ryan Reynolds’ American truck driver away inside a coffin-like box in Iraq for 95 minutes of increasingly claustrophobic screen time. Reynolds literally shares the screen with not another living soul, only sharing verbal exchanges with disembodied voices on a rapidly dying cell phone, and unlike 127 Hours, we never leave the container’s confines, making Cortes’ magic trick that much more impressive.

For Your Consideration (2006) (1st viewing) d. Guest, Christopher
While departing from his mockumentary stock-in-trade, there’s still a loosey-goosey handheld feel to the fourth of Guest’s ensemble comedies. Unfortunately, it’s also the most strained, following Catherine O’Hara’s fading screen veteran as she rides the Hollywood buzz wagon circulating her latest role, that of a dying Jewish matriarch in “Home for Purim.” Guest’s cast (which includes regulars Parker Posey, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer, Fred Willard, Jane Lynch, Bob Balaban) does fine with what they’re given, but one might have hoped for something cleverer than the obvious Hollywood targets that he and co-writer/co-star Eugene Levy choose to skewer.

Hindenburg, The (1975) (1st viewing) d. Wise, Robert
In the disaster movies-laden 70s, a big screen, all-star telling of the infamous May 6, 1937 zeppelin tragedy must have seemed like no-brainer, but unfortunately audiences are instead treated to an airborne soap opera that doesn’t generate any significant thrills until the big-ship-goes-boom final reel. There’s a whole lot of chitter-chatter about George C. Scott’s attempts to uncover an anti-Nazi espionage plot (the film’s supposition for the catastrophe, based on Michael Mooney’s book), but ultimately we don’t care about the multitude of doomed passengers and crew, Anne Bancroft, William Atherton, Roy Thinnes, Gig Young, and Burgess Meredith among them. That said, the fiery climactic scenes, highlighted by Albert Whitlock’s team’s special effects, are undeniably impressive and worth fast-forwarding through the rest of the silliness to get to. Those only familiar with Herbert Morrison’s “Oh, the humanity!” newsreel footage (myself among them) might be surprised to learn that nearly two-thirds of the personnel on board actually survived the incident.

Peacock (2010) (1st viewing) d. Lander, Michael
Quirky character drama about Cillian Murphy’s small-town Nebraska recluse whose life is turned upside down when a politician’s whistle-stop campaign train crashes off the tracks and into his backyard…revealing his formerly secret alter ego, Emma, to the town’s surprised residents. With his “wife” now engaging with the community, Murphy’s formerly orderly existence becomes a tension-filled juggling act of dueling characters and alibis. The Irish actor impresses in both roles, with fine support from Ellen Page, Susan Sarandon, Bill Pullman and Josh Lucas.

Soldier Blue (1970) (1st viewing) d. Nelson, Ralph
Rollicking Cowboys (well, Union Soldiers) and Indians adventure yarn maintains a light, even comedic tone as feisty Candice Bergen’s coarse fiancée and Peter Krause’s naïve private travel cross country after their wagon transport and escort is attacked and killed by redskins. However, the film culminates with a graphic recreation of the real-life Sand Creek tragedy of Nov. 29, 1864 where over 500 Cheyenne were massacred by heavily armed cavalry members (an obvious attempt to mirror the unpopular practices taking place in Vietnam). It’s one of the most devastating cinematic tone-switches in recent memory, and probably accounts for the film’s lesser known status today. Worth seeing.

2012 Totals to date: 31 films, 29 1st time views, 14 horror, 1 cinema

Fool's Views (1/16 – 1/29)

2012-02-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, where the heck did January go?

While severely lagging behind last year’s totals at this point, we managed to make a stronger showing in the second half of the month, populating the magic picture frame with a combo of obscure 70s horror (and one oddly obscure recent release), awards bait, and a bevy of civilian flicks ranging from gold to garbage. And really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Among these, we took in three more Christopher Lee flicks, making a total of seven for the month. With Kitley’s Kryptic Army focusing on Hammer this month, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a bit more of ol’ tall, dark and gruesome before 2012 is out.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

All the Kind Strangers (1974) (1st viewing) d. Kennedy, Burt
Stacy Keach stars in this TV movie as a freewheeling photojournalist who offers a ride to a towheaded lad walking home from the grocery store, only to find himself trapped by a family of orphaned youngsters looking to recruit a new father figure. Seems this brood has a habit of ensnaring unsuspecting passersby and if they don’t live up to their appointed role, to the bottom of the creek they go. Samantha Eggar is the current unwilling matriarch, attempting to save her skin while indoctrinating Keach into the fold, while Robby Benson makes a strong impression in an early role as the dopey second-in-command to John Savage’s tyrannical eldest child. Some creepy moments, but wusses out with a head-shaking conclusion. Benson also sings the folky theme song, seemingly channeling a 60-year-old flower child in the doing.

The Bloody Judge (aka Night of the Blood Monster) (1970) (1st viewing) d. Franco, Jess
A surprisingly well-mounted combo of historical war film, adventure, love story, and misguided justice/witch hunt horror, sparked by the success of Michael Reeves' Witchfinder General. In the third of the actor’s seven collaborations with the notoriously erratic Spanish filmmaker, Lee plays the infamous real-life Lord Jeffreys, mercilessly persecuting all who oppose King James II as well as numerous comely female “witches.” Beautiful blonde Maria Rohm (Venus in Furs) stars as one of the many potential victims, along with Franco-fave Howard Vernon as the head executioner. Though the sex and violence is not nearly as prominent as other similarly themed ’70s exploitation efforts, Lee was apparently vocal in his displeasure, claiming the more prurient scenes (such as Rohm’s notoriously erotic corpse-licking scene) were added in afterwards. Fine score by Bruno Nicolai.

Burke & Hare (2010) (1st viewing) d. Landis, John
“This is a true story. Except for the parts that are not.” Engaging horror/comedy about the infamous pair of 19th century Edinburgh confidence men who resort to grave robbing (and eventually bumbling murder), embodied by the superb comic team of Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis. Tom Wilkinson stars as eminent surgeon Robert Knox, complicit in the duo’s crimes in the interest of furthering science. Pegg’s Spaced co-star Jessica (formerly Stevenson) Hynes is terrific as Serkis’ conniving bawdy bride while Isla Fisher’s fetching barmaid turns on the sexy-cute in the hopes of finding a financier for her theatrical aspirations. Piers Ashcroft and Nick Moorcraft’s highly fictionalized comic script meshes well with Landis’ trademark brand of grotesque, absurdist leanings, and the scene is rife with cameos from the likes of Christopher Lee, Jenny Agutter, Ray Harryhausen, Costa-Gavras, Tim Curry and Landis’ longtime cinematographer Robert Paynter. Released without fanfare (to subsequent piddling box office), surprising considering the talent involved.

Demons of the Mind (1972) (2nd viewing) d. Sykes, Peter
As Hammer struggled to keep pace with the times, it conjured this odd little Gothic curiosity piece focused on the twisted goings-on of the Zorn family and their supposedly cursed bloodline. Robert Hardy (best known as the elder vet on All Creatures Great and Small) is the doomed patriarch who keeps his young adult children (Shane Briant, Gillian Hills) secreted away from the world, fearing for their safety…or is it the safety of others he is concerned with? The answer is a little of both, and amidst the rantings of renegade priest Michael Hordern and Patrick Magee’s discredited but dedicated hypnotherapist, blood is shed, incestuous lust holds sway and there’s never any doubt that things are not going to end well. A understandably obscure flick, as its mainstream appeal is limited, but HammerHeads and discriminating genre fans will find plenty to enjoy here.

CIVILIAN:

Cove, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Psihoyos, Louie
The Oscar-winning documentary about the systematic slaughter of dolphins in Taijii, Japan is upsetting on multiple levels, because not only do we see our finned friends graphically skewered on pikes and watch the waters run red, but we also learn how devastating life is for the “lucky” ones that survive to be brought to perform at oceanariums such as Sea World and how politically filthy the entire enterprise is. Humans, you suck.

Hannie Caulder (1971) (1st viewing) d. Kennedy, Burt
Raped and widowed by bandit brothers Jack Elam, Strother Martin and Ernest Borgnine, Raquel Welch vows vengeance on the clan, learning to shoot and kill courtesy of Robert Culp’s taciturn gunslinger (using tools of sudden death crafted by ex-pat Christopher Lee). There’s no denying Welch’s sultry screen presence, and Martin shines as the whiniest of the scoundrel siblings, but perhaps not the lost classic heralded upon its recent DVD release.

Piranha, Piranha (1972) (1st viewing) d. Gibson, William
I’ll admit, this one was a bit of a disappointment, as much due to expectations as shoddy filmmaking. When a flick shows up in a collection entitled NIGHTMARE WORLDS with a juicy title named after a certain carnivorous fish (so nice, they named it twice), one might expect there to be some bloody nature-strikes-back mayhem complete with fierce finned beasties devouring fetching lasses and square-jawed hunks. Not the case. Instead, we spend time with great white hunter William Smith toying with camera jockey Ahna Capri, her diamond-seeking brother Tom Simcox, and Peter Brown’s wily guide, and the most excitement to be had is a completely outa-left-field motorcycle race that serves no purpose but to kill/fill time. As for the title, turns out that Smith’s character is dubbed “Caribe,” which means… you guessed it. Wah wah.

Tell No One (2006) (1st viewing) d. Canet, Guillaume
Grieving widower Francois Cluzet (bearing an uncanny resemblance to Dustin Hoffman) receives an email from his supposedly eight-years-dead wife on the anniversary of her murder. Such is the premise behind this electrifying, superbly crafted French thriller, and so tightly scripted is Canet and Phillippe Lefebvre’s script (based on Harlen Coben’s novel) that viewers are constantly on edge as to where the next shoe will drop.

TOM HARDY IS A BIG BAD MOTOR SCOOTER

Bronson (2008) (1st viewing) d. Refn, Nicolas Winding

Warrior (2011) (1st viewing) d. O'Connor, Gavin

I’ve been meaning to check out Hardy’s breakout role for a while now, and discovering Drive director Refn was at the helm only fueled the desire. But it took seeing Hardy’s bulked-up badass turn in the recent “MMA brothers duking it out for the title” sports drama to finally get my ass in the Netflix chair. Watching the rising British star inhabit the highly theatricalized biography of “England’s most violent criminal” Michael Peterson (who changed his name to, yes, Charles Bronson) is a revelation for those of us who’ve only seen him in charismatic but straightforward supporting roles in Inception or Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Refn pulls off a kind of magic trick in making this thuggish brute’s life story compelling and even sympathetic at times. As far as Warrior goes, it’s a familiar story of family torn apart by anger, alcohol, abuse and neglect, and brought back together amidst the roar of the crowd. That said, this is a finely tuned instrument of conventions, and all the performances (including Joel Edgerton’s noble family man and Nick Nolte’s grizzled recovering lout) are strong. As a physical specimen, Hardy is an absolute beast and should inspire a few more pushups out of any red-blooded he-men watching. Special shout out to O’Connor’s exemplary use of folk-rock duo The National’s “About Today” in the final sequence.

OSCAR BAIT:

Better Life, A (2011) (1st viewing) d. Weitz, Chris
A intimate look at the life of an Mexican illegal immigrant (superlatively assayed by Demien Bichir) struggling to make ends meet and keep son Jose Julian away from the darker elements of inner city L.A. life. When the opportunity arises for Bichir to acquire the truck and clientele of his retiring employer (himself an alien), the story is goosed from touching family drama to white-knuckle thriller.

Iron Lady, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Lloyd, Phyllida
It has been 29 years since the Academy gave Meryl Streep the Oscar. She’s been nominated 13 times since (for a total of 17). Think about that, and while you do, witness her extraordinary transformation into one of the best known political figures of the 20th century, Margaret Thatcher. Then tell me it’s enough for her just to be nominated. At some point, it becomes an insult to the greatest living actress of our time to keep inviting her to the party and sending her home empty handed. This year, she’s more due than anyone else on the red carpet, and the work is beyond reproach. While I know we’ll see her in future awards races in years to come, it should be as a two-time Best Actress winner. Nothing less should suffice.

J. Edgar (2011) (1st viewing) d. Eastwood, Clint
Leonardo DiCaprio does his usual solid if unspectacular work as the creator/head of the FBI who became one of the most powerful and feared men in US history, struggling against political powers, an overbearing mother (Judi Dench) and his own closeted homosexuality. Much has been made of the dodgy prosthetic old-age makeup that adorns the star and his advisor/platonic boyfriend Armie Hammer, and the complaints are justified (especially in the case of Hammer, who appears completely mummified by the final reel). Despite some boggy patches in Dustin Lance Black’s script, Eastwood capably guides his ensemble through five decades of political skullduggery and the results are for the most part satisfying.

My Week with Marilyn (2011) (1st viewing) d. Curtis, Simon
Set during the filming of the Marilyn Monroe/Laurence Olivier vehicle The Prince and the Showgirl, Adrian Hodges’ script (based on Colin Clark's published recollections) seems interested in painting a mostly sympathetic view of the Hollywood icon, portraying her as a bundle of insecurities wrapped around a core of icy consumptive need. Michelle Williams does an admirable job balancing the giggles and the tantrums, but while Kenneth Branagh creates a fine character, he seems to have made no effort at all to replicate the British star’s mannerisms, vocally or physically. It’s very much Branagh doing Branagh, which isn’t all that impressive at this stage of the game.

2012 Totals to date: 20 films, 19 1st time views, 9 horror, 0 cinema

TV:
Patton Oswalt: No Reason to Complain

Fool's Views (1/1 - 1/15)

2012-01-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2012, my friends. It’s been a bit of a slow start for the old Fool, or rather, I’ve been operating at what might be considered “normal” speed for most. Chalk it up to a combination of acclimating to a new schedule, rehearsals for a new play, and writing a new HorrorHound article, the subject of which might be immediately apparent based on the brunt of the films below. Plus, there was all that tallying and discussions about everyone’s top 10, 20, etc. of 2011 – plenty to keep the Doc a-hoppin’.

But back in the saddle we are, and it’s finally feeling like winter, so there should be plenty of good Viewing ahead. Hope you enjoy what we’ve got in store for you this week, and as always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Day the Sky Exploded, The (1958) (1st viewing) d. Heusch, Paolo
When the first manned space expedition goes awry, Paul Hubschmid’s rocket ship is abandoned and exploded, resulting in a rogue collection of asteroids being diverted from their orbit around the sun. Naturally they start heading towards Earth, wreaking all kinds of weather-related havoc (tidal waves, forest fires, etc.) en route to our certain extinction. A not-bad sci-fi programmer from Italy, despite its heavy reliance on stock footage (the aforementioned natural upheavals, control rooms, an infinite number of missile launches). Mario Bava served as director of photography (although he’s credited as “Mario Baja”) and spaghetti horror buffs will spot his Kill Baby, Kill star Giacomo Rossi-Stuart as one of the frantic technicians attempting to thwart disaster through mathematics and thermonuclear warheads. There’s an amusing little aural snafu about an hour into the flick – as the panicked crowds break through the military barrier, it becomes clear that the English dubbing team laid down a 15-second clip to cover a 2-minute scene. As a result, we hear a woman cry “My baby!” with the same inflection about eight times in a row.

CHRISTOPHER LEE FILM FEST:

Curse III: Blood Sacrifice (aka Panga) (1991) (1st viewing) d. Barton, Sean
After American émigré Jenilee Harrison’s sister halts an African tribe’s ritual sacrificing of a goat, an evil sea spirit proceeds to hack its way through the film’s white populace. As the resident doc, Christpher Lee actually tenders some substantial screen time in his supporting role, even managing a bit of Afrikanese as well as two hefty monologues. However, Harrison’s vacant, stilted acting (10 years after her stint as Suzanne Somers’ replacement on Three’s Company) doesn’t help matters, though former soccer star Henry Cele fares well as the family’s native right hand man. There’s some brief nudity, mild gore and an overactive drum/synth score all attempting to enliven writer/director Barton’s suspense-free suspense scenes, while the halfway decent (machete-wielding!) rubber monster design is by Chris Walas. Bears no relation to any of the other Curse films.

End of the World (1977) (1st viewing) d. Hayes, John
As a stranded alien and the priest whose body he replicates, Christopher Lee pulls double duty in this turgid early Charles Band production, lording over six alien nuns while blackmailing nosey brainiac Kirk Scott and bride Sue Lyon into procuring the mysterious elements necessary for their return trip home. Of course, once they’ve got the goods, Lee and his sister act reveal their darker purpose: they’re really here to exterminate the Earth’s population via a series of natural disasters. Cheapjack effects, stock footage, yawns and annoying weeo-weeo electronic music score abound, although there’s a pretty great practical car explosion in the second act that clearly was done the good ol’ fashioned way of finding a junker and blowing that baby UP, flaming gas splashing all over the asphalt and terrified actors running for cover in the foreground. Aging screen veterans Dean Jagger and Lew Ayres show up to collect a paycheck, which couldn’t have been much. The “surprise” ending is a doozy, followed by some of the slowest crawling end credits on record.

Season of the Witch (2011) (1st viewing) d. Sena, Dominic
High profile B-movie starring Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman as two wisecracking thrill-killing 14th-century Knights Templar who suffer a crisis of confidence after offing one innocent victim too many and desert, only to be captured and pressed into duty transporting a young witch to a remote abbey in the hopes of ending the Black Plague. For his part, Christopher Lee delivers a delicious, boil-covered hare-lipped cameo, enduring impressive prosthetics for his limited time onscreen. Bragi F. Schut’s lame screenplay and dialogue do no one any favors. Cage has become as much as a liability as asset when it comes to attracting audiences – much like Drive Angry the same year, horror fans stayed away in droves. Unnecessary and shoddy CGI may dampen spirits, as does the goofy third act which goes giddily off the rails, but for those seeking mere escapism, this is a relatively inoffensive popcorn burner. Filmed on location in Austria and Hungary.

Tale of the Mummy (aka Talos the Mummy) (1998) (1st viewing) d. Mulcahy, Russell
As some might have gathered at this point, Christopher Lee had no problems picking up a check for a day’s work and featured billing. Here, the venerable actor exits the scene at the eight-minute mark, having fulfilled his duties via a fateful 1948 excavation scene (that includes some truly horrible CGI). Flash forward to 1999, where Lee’s granddaughter Louise Lombard returns to recover the sarcophagus for display in the London Museum. This original but silly take on the mummy legend has the bandages themselves become the monster, scrambling around London car parks, tube stations, laundry chutes and gay bars in search of seemingly random victims, extracting their internal organs in order to restore Talos to life…with a cockamamie interplanetary alignment “ticking clock” in place for good measure. Decent cast includes Michael Lerner, Sean Pertwee, Lysette Anthony (of Krull infamy), Shelly Duvall, a very young Gerard Butler and the unintentionally hilarious supercool Jason Scott Lee as a U.S. embassy detective. Shorn of nearly 30 minutes for its US release, from 119 to 88, though I can’t help but feel a little grateful.

CIVILIAN:
Forks Over Knives (2011) (1st viewing) d. Fulkerson, Lee
You don’t have to be a vegetarian…unless you want to, you know, live longer, be healthier, reduce your risk of cancer, spend less time in the hospital, etc. Such is the thesis put forth by this thought-provoking documentary based largely on the research of Drs. Caldwell Esselstyn, Jr. and T. Colin Campbell, and I gotta say Fulkerson & Co. make a compelling case for converting to a plant-based, whole-foods diet. Check it out and see if it doesn’t make you think twice about eating that Double Whopper.

2012 Totals to date: 6 films, 6 1st time views, 5 horror, 0 cinema

Civilian 2011 Wrap-Up and Year-End Stats!

2012-01-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

Back again!

Having addressed the horror genre in the previous entry (hey, the title of the blog is HORROR 101 after all), it seems only fair to give the civilian flicks their moment in the sun, seeing as how they composed nearly half the total Views this year. As before, all of the films listed were encountered for the first time from January 1 to December 31, 2011 (i.e. no repeat viewings were eligible), with my top picks denoted with an asterisk.

2011 TOTALS: 640 films, 419 1st time views, 355 horror, 59 cinema
(2010 Totals: 364, 253, 242, 45)
(2009 Totals: 472, 276, 289, 38)
(2008 Totals: 384, 278, 226, 39)
(2007 Totals: 409, 284, 260, 40)

TOP CIVILIAN 2011 RELEASES
Adventures of Tintin, The (2011)
Another Earth (2011)
Bridesmaids (2011)
Drive (2011)*
Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
Hugo (2011)
Margin Call (2011)*
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (2011)
Moneyball (2011)
Tree of Life, The (2011)*
War Horse (2011)

FAVORITE CIVILIAN DISCOVERIES OF 2011
Big Fan (2009)
Bloody Sunday (2002)
Catfish (2010)
Downfall (2004)
Enter the Void (2008)*
Fall, The (2006)
GasLand (2010)*
Great Texas Dynamite Chase, The (1976)
Head (1968)
Jackass 3D (2010)
Man on Wire (2008)
Police Story 2 (1988)
Stieg Larsson’s “Girl” Trilogy (2009)
Stranger Than Paradise (1984)
Zabriskie Point (1970)

CIVILIAN 2011 – HONORABLE MENTION
Contagion (2011)
Descendants, The (2011)
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The (2011)
Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)
Paul (2011)
Rango (2011)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon (2011)
X-Men: First Class (2011)

CIVILIAN DISCOVERIES – HONORABLE MENTION
Disappearance of Alice Creed, The (2009)
Gas, Food, Lodging (1992)
Half Nelson (2006)
Hamlet 2 (2008)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Hustle & Flow (2005)
Messenger, The (2009)
Recount (2008)
Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage (2010)
Spanking the Monkey (1994)
Town, The (2010)
Wal-Mart: The High Price of Low Cost (2005)

MIXED BAGS – CIVILIAN
Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)
Cowboys & Aliens (2011)
Cropsey (2009)
Ides of March, The (2011)
Krull (1983)
Lovely Bones, The (2009)
Machete (2010)
Muppets, The (2011)
Shame (2011)
Young Adult (2011)

NOT SO GOOD
4 for Texas (1963)
Gran Torino (2008)
I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)

WORST CIVILIAN VIEWS OF 2011
Black Dahlia, The (2006)
Dukes of Hazzard, The (2005)
Escape from L.A. (1996)
Whatever Works (2009)

WHAT THE *&*%#^$%#% DID I JUST WATCH?
Black Belt Jones (1974)
Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
Malibu High (1977)
Undefeatable (1993)
Water Power (1977)

MOST WATCHED DIRECTORS OF 2010
Cronenberg, David (17)
Jackson, Peter: (8)
Honda, Ishiro: (7)
De Palma, Brian (5)
Eastwood, Clint (5)
Fukuda, Jun (5)
Hancock, John D. (5)
Carpenter, John (4)
Chan, Jackie (4)
Clark, Bob (4)
Cohen, Larry (4)
Craven, Wes (4)
Fuest, Robert (4)
Gordon, Stuart (4)
Nolan, Christopher (4)
Okawara, Takao (4)
Spielberg, Steven (4)
Aldrich, Robert (3)
Allen, Woody (3)
Boll, Uwe (3)
Buchanan, Larry (3)
Butcher Brothers (3)
Corman, Roger (3)
Fincher, David (3)
Fukusaku, Kinji (3)
Guillerman, John (3)
Herzog, Werner (3)
Kanefsky, Rolfe (3)
MacDonald, Kevin (3)
Meyer, Russ (3)
Tezuka, Masaaki (3)
Wingard, Adam (3)
Wright, Edgar (3)
Yates, David (3)
Yuasa, Noriaki (3)

MOST WATCHED ACTORS OF 2010:
Tiffany Shepis (14)
Vincent Price (10)
Burt Reynolds (8)
Tom Cruise (8)
Charlton Heston (7)
Viggo Mortensen (7)
Jackie Chan (6)
Jeffrey Combs (5)

OTHER 2010 VIEWING STATS:
• 27 Godzilla movies in the month of February
• Watched Stieg Larsson’s “Girl” Trilogy back to back to back
• Watched The Lord of the Rings Trilogy back to back to back
• Watched the entire Nightmare on Elm Street series…again
• 17 documentaries
• 28 countries represented
• Saw films with titles starting with every letter of the alphabet

TV:
• Season 1 of Ugly Americans (14 episodes)
• Season 1 of Alfred Hitchcock Presents (39 episodes)
• Season 1 of Deadwood (12 episodes)
• Season 1 of Archer (10 episodes)
• Season 1 of The Walking Dead (6 episodes)
• Seasons 1 & 2 of The League of Gentlemen (6 episodes)

Last January, I announced my plans to see a weekly similarly-titled double features over the course of the year. While I didn’t manage to pull it off every week, we did come up with some interesting pairings.

SEEING DOUBLE: (* not a remake/sequel)
And Soon the Darkness (1970, 2010)
April Fool’s Day (1986, 2008)
Devil, The/Devil (1972, 2010)*
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009, 2011)
House of Wax (1953, 2005)*
Interview, The/Interview (1998, 2007)*
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956, 1978)
Island of Dr. Moreau, The (1977, 1996)
King Kong (1976, 2005)
Messenger, The (1999, 2009)*
Night of the Demon/Night of the Demons (1980, 2009)*
Predator/Predators (1987, 2010)
Revolver (1973, 2005)*
Romeo & Juliet (1968, 1996)
Shivers/Shiver (1975, 2008)*
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1973, 2003)
To Be or Not to Be (1942, 1983)
True Grit (1969, 2010)

DOUBLE VIEWS OF 2010:
Haunted World of El Superbeasto, The (2009)
Henry V (1989)
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
Stake Land (2010)
TrollHunter (2010)

VIEWINGS BY MONTH:
January – 46
February – 59 (Godzillathon)
March – 36
April – 53
May – 33
June – 42
July – 30
August – 52
September – 32
October – 115 (Scare-A-Thon)
November – 67
December – 75

TOP VIEWING YEAR: 2010 (70!)
As has been the case for the past four years running, the previous year takes the title. Not surprising, either catching films missed in the cinema or seeing “2010” films not released to video/theaters until 2011. But outside of the 2000s (which were huge this year, 130 from 2006-2009 alone), it was nice to see 1981 pulling in with 14 (probably the highest rank for the 80s since the 80s), and 1971-1973 pulling a three-year streak of 13.

Longest streak of seeing at least one film from each year: 1953-2011
(This is the weakest I’ve been on older films in a while. Also notable, this is the 4th time in five years that my streak has conked out in the early 50s. Next year, I should start early and move forward…)

EARLIEST FILM WATCHED:
Vampyr (1932)

VIEWS BREAKDOWN BY DECADE
1930s - 1
1940s - 3
1950s - 22
1960s - 50
1970s - 107
1980s - 86
1990s - 55
2000s - 187
2010s - 129

Dr. AC's 2011 Horror Film Wrap-Up!

2012-01-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

Howdy troops,

Greetings, fellow lovers of the moving image,

First off, let it be duly noted – this year was INSANE. 2011’s total of 640 films represents the 3rd highest I’ve ever amassed in a single year. As a result, narrowing things down to a simple Top 10 just didn’t seem in the cards, and with an abundance of worthwhile cinema to be tallied, why impose such an arbitrary limit? Why indeed.

Therefore, after much deliberation, below is my assessment of the horror year that was. All of the fright flicks listed herein were encountered for the first time sometime between January 1 and December 31, 2011 (i.e. no repeat viewings were eligible). To accommodate and acknowledge as many films as possible, I've broken them down into various categories in alphabetical order, with my top pick denoted with an asterisk. (*)

If you are curious about or want to celebrate/debate why a certain title landed in a certain category, please leave a comment and we’ll go at it. Also, if you’re interested in reading the original reviews of the films in question (and really, who wouldn’t be?), you can easily access them via the Blogger search function in the upper left hand corner of the screen.

Thanks so much for the past year of rapping and chatting - looking forward to more of the same in 2012!

BEST HORROR RELEASES IN (OR AROUND) 2011
Attack the Block (2011)
Chillerama (2011)
Chop (2011)
Dream Home (2010)
Exorcismus (2010)
Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), The (2011)*
I Saw the Devil (2010)
Kidnapped (2010)
Last Circus, The (2010)
Let Me In (2010)
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010)
Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)
Red State (2011)
Red White and Blue (2010)
Stake Land (2010)
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

FAVORITE HORROR DISCOVERIES OF 2011
Critters 2 (1988)*
Dead End (2003)
Dead Heat (1988)
Harpoon (2009)
Haunted World of El Superbeasto, The (2009)
Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, The (2001)
Mutants (2009)
My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989)
Shout, The (1978)
Undertaker and His Pals, The (1966)

2011 HORROR RELEASES - HONORABLE MENTION
Amer (2009)
Black Death (2010)
Blood Junkie (2010)
Cold Sweat (2010)
D4 (2010)
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2011)
I Spit on Your Grave (2010)
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
Prey (2010)
Reef, The (2010)
Rubber (2010)
Serbian Film, A (2010)
Woman, The (2011)
YellowBrickRoad (2010)

HORROR DISCOVERIES – HONORABLE MENTION
Big Man Japan (2007)
Black Torment, The (1964)
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992)
Cthulhu (2007)
Eclipse, The (2009)
Finale (2009)
Jigoku (1960)
Mr. Brooks (2007)
Nature of the Beast (1995)
Nightmare Man (2006)
Nympha (2007)
Pig Hunt (2008)
Pop Skull (2007)
Screamplay (1985)
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)
These are the Damned (1963)
Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)
Witches’ Hammer (1970)

MIXED BAGS - HORROR
Bone Sickness (2004)
Devil (2010)
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
Insidious (2010)
Monster from Green Hell (1958)
Monsters (2010)
Night of the Demons (2009)
Outpost (2008)
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Shrooms (2007)
Super 8 (2011)
Thing, The (2011)
TrollHunter (2010)
Violent Kind, The (2010)
Ward, The (2010)

NOTABLY INEPT/DISAPPOINTING/BORING
April Fool’s Day (2008)
Battle Royale II (2003)
Beast with a Million Eyes (1955)
Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)
House of Fears (2007)
Monstroid (1980)
Nightwing (1979)
Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990)
Oval Portrait, The (1972)
Perfect Creature (2006)
Resident, The (2011)
Rana: Legend of Shadow Lake (1975)
Scre4m (2011)
Scarecrow (2002)
Seed (2007)
Skeleton Crew (2009)
Unearthed (2007)

WHAT THE *&*%#^$%#% DID I JUST WATCH?
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966)
Death Warrior (1984)
Eyes of Fire (1984)
Gorotica (1993)
Hausu (1977)
Horror of the Blood Monsters (1970)
Killing of Satan, The (1983)
La Blue Girl: Revenge of the Shikima Realm (1995)
Love Me Deadly (1973)
Nude for Satan (1974)
Pit, The (1981)
Suckling, The (1990)
Track of the Moon Beast (1976)
X from Outer Space (1967)

WORST HORROR VIEWS OF 2011
Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011)
Hatchet 2 (2010)
Invasion of the Pod People (2007)
Live Feed (2006)
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)

Fool's Views (12/26 – 12/31)

2012-01-03T11:24:00.000-08:00

Boom. There it is.

The last week of 2011 featured no fewer than seven current theatrical releases, as well as a bevy of recent video releases and a continued game of catch-up from the decade gone by. Hope you like, and I’ll be seeing you very soon with the year-end totals!

As always feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

American Haunting, An (2005) (1st viewing) d. Solomon, Courtney
Watching the much maligned screen version of the Bell Witch legend (the most documented haunting in U.S. history, if the opening crawl is to be believed), I kept wishing that writer/director Solomon had avoided the cheap action thrills and kept things under a tighter rein. At times, there is the potential for a good old fashioned period horror yarn (a la Hammer) is strongly evident, especially with veterans like Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek in the mix, but once people start flying around and windows shatter right and left, the movie oddly enough loses its magic. Not terrible, but not good either.

Chop (2011) (1st viewing) d. Haaga, Trent
Having been a fan of Haaga for years now, as an actor (Troma’s Edge, Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula) and a writer (Deadgirl), I was very excited to check out his directorial debut. Happily, this deliberately twisted horror/comedy delivers the gory goods hand in hand with caustic characters and insane scenarios, courtesy of Adam Minorovich’s wacky script. Will Keenan, who Troma fans will remember from Tromeo & Juliet, plays a hapless game of cat and mouse with Timothy Muskatell’s increasingly psychotic self-appointed judge, jury and executioner. A late entry in 2011’s horror race, but one that deserves consideration for anyone’s top 10.

Darkest Hour, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Gorak, Chris
Oh, squandered potential, thy name is Darkest Hour. What could have been a terrific alien invasion flick, amped up by the fish out of water elements of setting the main protagonists as American tourists on their first night in Russia, steadily falls apart from a diet of dumb-dumb pills and predictable pecking order. One can tell who is going to survive the longest almost exclusively by the cast list’s roster, even if it means straining the audience’s frontal lobes’ capacity for suspension of disbelief to do it. It’s too bad, because the desolated street scenes are hauntingly effective and the electrical disintegration of their human prey make for dandy visuals. Luckily, the movie’s marketing team forgot to tell anyone about it, so there was no time to work up any expectations.

Hostel: Part III (2011) (1st viewing) d. Spiegel, Scott
Almost as if he knew any movie called Hostel III was going to be considered a bad joke, director Spiegel embraces the insanity to deliver a film that’s more black comedy than dread-filled horror and largely succeeds as a result. A bachelor party in Vegas goes off the rails as one by one the odious horndogs and their stripper companions end up on the torture rack. As with his minor slasher classic Intruder, Spiegel includes tons of trick camera shots (including from within one victim’s mouth) to match the elevated plot twists and performances, all serving to remind the audience not to take any of this seriously. Since the torture porn movement has essentially come and gone, this was probably the best route to take, and I’ll go on the record as saying that I liked it a heck of a lot more than Eli Roth’s own second installment (though I could have done without a couple of the useless supporting characters).

Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010) (1st viewing) d. Kren, Marvin
A couple weeks ago, I called Mutants a French version of 28 Days Later. Much in the same reductive yet complimentary vein, this German zombie thriller is in many ways a Teutonic spin on Juame Balaguero and Paco Plaza’s marvelously claustrophobic [Rec]. While its predecessor’s “found footage” element is abandoned, director Kren’s action all takes place in a low-rent apartment complex with the tenants bonding or abandoning one another based on circumstances and temperament. Plus, it’s only an hour long! Well worth checking out.

CIVILIAN:

Airplane! (1980) (3rd viewing) d. Abrahams, Jim/Zucker, David/Zucker, Jerry
“Where did you get that dress? It's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!” Stephen Stucker. That’s the crazy funny bald guy with all the memorable lines who gives Lloyd Bridges and Leslie Nielsen a run for their comic money in this flagship for the next three decades of parody movies. Why this guy didn’t get used more before his death in 1986, I’ll never know.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) (1st viewing) d. Bird, Brad
Never, ever count Tom Cruise out. In a year filled with oodles of superheroic action flicks, Incredibles director Bird delivers the most enjoyably edge-of-your-seat finale of 2011. The rare franchise that actually keeps getting better with each installment.

Rango (2011) (1st viewing) d. Verbinski, Gore
Visually magnificent, chock full of lively characters and pretty darn funny to boot, I’m sorry I let mixed reviews keep me from seeing this on the big screen. Definitely a contender for top animated film of the year. Oh, and Timothy Olyphant’s “Man with No Name” impression is terrifyingly authentic.

Space Cowboys (2000) (1st viewing) d. Eastwood, Clint
Sure, it’s silly escapist fare, but watching Squint, Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland and James Garner all suit up as over-the-hill astronauts is just as much fun as you’d think.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) (1st viewing) d. Alfredson, Tomas
Honestly, I don’t think there’s a single car chase or fist fight in the entire film. (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.) Just lots of tense looks, stiff jaws, terse words and intelligent actors doing their thing with words and gesture. Not sure how I feel about the exaggerated grain that director Alfredson injected in the film stock, but I’m willing to chalk it up to artistic freedom and move on.

Woodsman, The (2004) (1st viewing) d. Kassell, Nicole
Kevin Bacon delivers a marvelously understated performance as a recently released convicted child molester, attempting to integrate back into society despite the prejudices of others and the fact that he is not “cured” of his urges. A unique examination of a sensationalized subject, with solid work from Bacon’s real-life wife Kyra Sedgwick, Benjamin Bratt, Mos Def, Eve, and David Alan Grier in a non-comedic role.

CATCHING UP WITH 2007

American Gangster (2007) (1st viewing) d. Scott, Ridley
Epic telling of heroin kingpin Frank Lucas and the team of lawmen that took him down. Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe both bring their A-game, surrounded by an impressive array of talent. Liked it more than I expected to, and even though I was watching the extended director’s cut, I never felt bored.

Charlie Wilson's War (2007) (1st viewing) d. Nichols, Mike
…or How U.S. Congressman Tom Hanks Armed Afghanistan and Ended the Cold War, with the help of Houston socialite Julia Roberts, CIA operative Philip Seymour Hoffman and Representative Ned Beatty. It’s a comedy, and it works as such, but the epilogue is such a downer that it left me angrier than I would have imagined. As the real-life Wilson said, “These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world...and then we fucked up the end game.”

Hunting Party, The (2007) (1st viewing) d. Shepard, Richard
Political thriller has Terrence Howard and rogue reporter Richard Gere chasing after the #1 war criminal in Bosnia. Based on a true story, but never quite reaches Salvador heights.

Margot at the Wedding (2007) (1st viewing) d. Baumbach, Noah
Nicole Kidman visits her estranged sister Jennifer Jason Leigh for her wedding to Jack Black, bringing unchecked judgment in her wake. These are awful, AWFUL people, and it is some kind of miracle that Squid and the Whale writer/director Baumbach compels us to keep watching. But he does, and for that, he has my admiration.

MICHAEL FASSBENDER HAS ARRIVED

Dangerous Method, A (2011) (1st viewing) d. Cronenberg, David
Cronenberg has often noted his Jungian upbringing, so it’s hardly surprising that he would choose to present the tumultuous relationship between Carl Jung (Fassbender) and his mentor Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen). As one might guess, the two men are presented as highly intellectualized figures who examine their every move and thought, so it is left to Keira Knightly (as the oft overlooked Russian psychologist Sabina Spielrein) to bring the emotional heart and heat, which she does magnificently. Naked in both flesh and word, Knightly believably transforms from spasming animal to stable educator before our eyes, a performance that seems to be overlooked in the end of year tallies.

Shame (2011) (1st viewing) d. McQueen, Steve
McQueen’s examination of a sex addict is both rewarding for its patience and non-judgment, yet equally frustrating by the same nature. Do we really need to watch Fassbender run for an entire 60 seconds down the street? Do we need to see him stare off into space over and over and over again? There are some incredible moments of frankness and truth, and I’d recommend the film (which absolutely earns its NC-17 rating), but there are times where one wishes the editing shears had been used with a bit more enthusiasm.

SPIELBERG IS BACK

Adventures of Tintin, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Spielberg, Steven
War Horse (2011) (1st viewing) d. Spielberg, Steven
In a nutshell, I liked both of these so much more than I thought I would. Spielberg reins (ha ha) in his oft-sentimental tendencies to present a rich emotional journey via War Horse, while the animated format of Tintin gives unlimited license to Uncle Steven – who has already graced us with some of the most astonishing chase sequences the silver screen has to offer – and says, “Sky’s the limit – knock yourself out.” He does, and in the process, knocks us out as well.

2011 totals to date: 640 films, 419 1st time views, 355 horror, 59 cinema

TV:
Louis C.K.: Chewed Up Comedy Special

Fool's Views (12/19 – 12/25)

2012-01-03T08:46:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

Welcome to 2012! But, before we dole out the year-end goodies, we need to commune with the remaining 2011’s Views. Wouldn’t you know it, since they were the final weeks, and since I had little to do after placing my meager offerings to the femalien under the tree, I dug out the eyelid toothpicks and again drank deeply from the cinema pools. The Chicago public library continued in my catch-up of notable civilian films gone by, Netflix kept the horror blood pumping, and the penultimate Cronenberg features in our year-long examination unfurled before us. Good stuff.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:
Apollo 18 (2011) (1st viewing) d. Lopez-Gallego, Gonzalo
I missed this “period found footage” flick this Fall due to its excoriating critical savaging. However, I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to be pleasantly surprised once they finally check it out this purported expose’ of the fateful “final” moon landing. For starters, the look of the film is (ahem) stellar, with that weird early 70s color correction adroitly setting the mood, and the unfamiliar cast playing the astronauts are appropriately rugged and believable. Sure, there are a few logistical glitches here and there, but overall, this proved to be an adequate time-waster and much better than early reviews would lead one to believe.

House of Fears (2007) (1st viewing) d. Little, Ryan
This is one of those flicks that you’ve never heard of before, but you watch anyway because your friend likes the plot description on Netflix. In this case, the friend shall remain nameless (but you know who you are, Tery), and the synopsis that suckered us in was “When a group of teenage friends breaks into a carnival-style haunted house before it opens on Halloween, they unwittingly unleash a hellish power that animates the attraction's sinister clowns, killer scarecrows and other monsters.” Sounds awesome, right? But it became clear within 15 minutes that this one was gonna leave a mark on our souls. Stooooooopid. Little’s sole horror outing leaves the distinct impression that his heart was not in it. Leave indie fright flicks to those that care, my friend – we’ve got enough pretenders to the throne in Hollywood.

Psycho Legacy, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Galluzzo, Robert V.
Pleasantly exhaustive documentary on Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 classic as it terrified people out of their showers, opened the door to the modern day slasher flick, and eventually spawned three sequels of its own. Chock full of interviews from all the main players, highlighted by a second-disc 60-minute horror convention Q&A with star Anthony Perkins. Even the most seasoned veteran is sure to pick up something new here.

Spell, The (1977) (1st viewing) d. Phillips, Lee
Amusing little Carrie-inspired TV-movie has Susan Myers in the misfit telekinetic teen shoes, terrorizing little sis Helen Hunt, fattie-hating father James Olson, and anyone else who crosses her path. Lee Grant stars as her blinkered mom, who refuses to believe her troubled offspring is responsible for the recent spate of “accidents” (such as the jaw-dropping octogenarian inferno sequence). Starts off slow, but builds to a dandy finish.

CIVILIAN:
Breach (2007) (1st viewing) d. Ray, Billy
Chris Cooper turns on the surly as a malcontent CIA agent who may or may not be a spy for the Soviets. Solid political thriller based on a true story, with Ryan Phillipe and Laura Linney.

Four Seasons, The (1981) (1st viewing) d. Alda, Alan
Alda wrote, directed and stars in this charming ensemble comedy about three married couples (Alda-Carol Burnett, Jack Weston-Rita Moreno, Len Cariou-Sandy Dennis) who go through massive upheavals over the course of four group vacations. Recalls Neil Simon at his best.

Strange Brew (1983) (1st viewing)d. Moranis, Rick/Thomas, Dave
Yep, finally caught up with this SCTV-inspired 80s comedy starring Moranis and Thomas as Bob and Doug Mackenzie, a pair of beer-guzzlin’ hockey-lovin’ Canadian-stereotypin’ siblings caught up in brewmeister Max Von Sydow’s nefarious scheme for world-domination. Good-natured juvenilia abounds.

Talk to Me (2007) (1st viewing) d. Lemmons, Kasi
Well-crafted biopic about legendary Washington D.C. radio DJ Petey Green, who emerged from a life of petty larceny and incarceration to become one of the most influential voices of the 60s/70s black movement. Don Cheadle inhabits Green with a finessed balance of rage, joy, insecurity and chutzpah, alternately infuriating and inspiring boss/manager Chiwetel Ejiofor. Taraji P. Henson (so good in Hustle & Flow) shines in a different light as Cheadle’s sassy, sexy mate.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) (1st viewing) d. Allen, Woody
Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson play two vacationing Americans who both fall into relationships with Javier Bardem’s impossibly charismatic painter. Not really complaining that Penelope Cruz took home the Supporting Actress Oscar for her turn as Bardem’s tempestuous ex-wife, but she’s done better work and I’d like to think this was a combo award for her nuanced performance in the same year’s Elegy.

CRONENBERG IN THE “OTTS”

Spider (2002) (2nd viewing) d. Cronenberg, David
History of Violence, A (2005) (2nd viewing) d. Cronenberg, David
Eastern Promises (2007) (2nd viewing) d. Cronenberg, David
Wrapping up the Canadian director’s CV is a bit bittersweet, not only because it means the end of the journey, but also because it takes us further and further away from his horror/sci-fi roots (where his innovation and intelligence strongly resonated in a genre often equated with dumbed-down gorefests). Even so, I was happy to revisit this dramatic trio, having only seen them each only once before. I watched Spider with the subtitles on this time, hoping to gather what I could from Ralph Fiennes’ mumbling emotional defective – basically all I remembered from the first go-round was that I couldn’t understand anything he said. While the performances are all strong, including Miranda Richardson’s triple-play, Fiennes’ remote character keeps viewers at a distance and the resulting drama fails to significantly impact. Of Cronenberg’s civilian fare, I’d say that History is probably the most accessible, with Viggo Mortensen’s everyday small-town family-man hero revealed to have a very dark past, to the consternation of his family and friends who thought they knew him. DC proceeded to cast Mortensen in Promises as a cryptic chauffeur to a London Russian mob family (a role which earned him an Oscar nod, a long-overdue first for the director’s performers) who becomes entangled in Naomi Watts’ quest to track down the father of a murdered prostitute’s baby. Much was made of Viggo’s naked bathhouse brawl (rightly so), but more impressive is his meticulous and understated collection of character traits that slowly reveal the man beneath the driving gloves.

A GREAT DAY AT THE MOVIES

Great Muppet Caper, The (1981) (2nd viewing) d. Henson, Jim
Has it really been 30 years since I last saw Kermit & Co.’s madcap exploits in jolly olde England? This is the Muppets the way I likes ‘em: Unhinged silliness and calculated mayhem amidst truly astonishing instances of “how’d they do that?” puppet wizardry.

Great Northfield Minnesota Raid, The (1972) (1st viewing) d. Kaufman, Philip
Dirty, gritty, funny and cheeky yarn about the wild west James/Younger gang’s last big attempted bank robbery, with Cliff Robertson portraying Cole Younger as an easy-living, low-key bandit at odds with Robert Duvall’s playfully psychotic Jesse James.

Great Texas Dynamite Chase, The (1976) (1st viewing)d. Pressman, Michael
Jocelyn Jones (who would later star in David Schmoeller’s underrated Tourist Trap) teams up with wild gal Claudia Jennings for a spree of bank robberies across the Yellow Rose State. Unpretentious exploitation has nothing on its mind but good time explosions, nudity and car chases, yet also manages to present two liberated women living life by their own rules, using men as their sexual playthings and outsmarting male authorities with gusto.

FINCHER OSCAR BAIT DOUBLE STACK

Social Network, The (2010) (2nd viewing) d. Fincher, David
In retrospect, it’s little wonder that this unflattering portrait of the rise of Facebook and its creators failed to take home Best Picture over the more sumptuous King’s Speech. In the end, it’s about Facebook, and we’d all like to categorically state (even as we post holiday photos and scramble for clever status updates) that The Great Time-Suck of Our Time doesn’t matter all that much to us. In the same way that FB feels slight, these characters’ fates and conflict likewise register as insignificant. The performances are all strong, Aaron Sorkin’s script is a wonder, and Fincher pulls off the magic trick of making it all seem relevant during the film’s two-hour running time…but then it all fades away, as unsubstantial as Jesse Eisenberg’s CGI winter’s breath.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Fincher, David
First off, this didn’t need to be remade. The original 2009 Swedish film starring Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace was a stellar screen version of Stieg Larsson’s novel, and I’ll argue that Nikolaj Arcel and Rasmus Heisterberg’s adaptation blows Steven Zallian’s out of the water. Plus, without distracting celebrity faces (hello Daniel Craig, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgard, Robin Wright, et al) popping up throughout, Niels Arden Oplev’s vision was able to truly transport viewers into Larsson’s story. That said, Fincher’s redundant version is still worthwhile for the subtitle-phobic, and Rooney Mara’s damaged punk hacker Lisabeth Salander is a revelation, erasing nearly all my snarling venom aroused by her involvement in the execrable Nightmare on Elm Street reboot. Just a couple more nitpicks and I’ll walk away: a) what was up with that ridiculous opening credits sequence and b) why couldn’t Craig at least attempt a Swedish accent (or have Fincher nix everyone else’s)?

2011 totals to date: 621 films, 390 1st time views, 350 horror, 51 cinema

TV:
Black Adder’s Christmas Carol (1 episode)

Fool's Views (12/12 – 12/18)

2011-12-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

My friends,

It was a great week for movie watching, although the circumstances were less than ideal (monster head cold accompanied by a wicked 3-day migraine). As a result, I was pretty much immobilized and remaindered to the couch, but the Netflix and public library gods were there to comfort me with their celluloid balm. As you can see, my TV-remote fingers transported me across continents to experience a multitude of worthy foreign nightmares, as well as a dip into the De Palma Pool.

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday weekend – may your gatherings of family and friends be rich and plentiful. The greatest gifts are still the ones that come for free/cheap: a friendly word, a warm embrace, a surprise phone call, a random act of kindness… I feel incredibly blessed to be allowed to live this life, surrounded by friends and fiends both corporeal and virtual. Thank you for sharing your time and comments with me over yet another blogging year – it’s a pleasure to know that someone’s actually out there reading these blithering and blithe missives.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll be sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR (INTERNATIONAL WEEK):

Dream Home (2010) (1st viewing) d. Pang, Ho-Cheung (Hong Kong)
Awesome Hong Kong body count flick revolving around a young lady bent on acquiring a ocean-view apartment, even if it means taking out half of the complex’s residents. This midnight-black comedy delivers the goods for slasher fans, in that there are nearly a dozen applause-worthy kill gags. Well executed and worth your time.

Eclipse, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. McPherson, Conor (Ireland)
Grieving widower Ciarin Hinds begins seeing creepy visions in his house the same weekend as the local literary festival where he has been tasked with driving visiting authors Iben Hjejle and Adian Quinn (wonderfully smarmy & narcissistic). While more a “drama with occasional ghosting,” the lived-in performances and attention to character/situation allow the scares to sing all the more when they do arrive. Patient viewers will be handsomely rewarded.

Last Circus, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. de la Iglesia, Alex (Spain)
A transient circus during the Spanish Civil War (lorded over by sadistic clown Antonio de la Torre) is the setting for the latest from Spanish wunderkind de la Igesia. Returning to his unfettered horror days (Day of the Beast), the visionary writer/director delivers naïve “sad clown” Carlos Areces into the mix, and when smokin’ aerial artist Carolina Bang takes a liking to him, the stage is set for set-pieces muchas violentas. Safe to say that viewers will encounter scenarios and sights that they’ve never seen before, all delivered with de la Iglesias’ reliably gymnastic cinematography and unhinged energy.

Mutants (2009) (1st viewing) d. Morlet, David (France)
Despite the reductiveness of the comparison, this smaller scaled version of 28 Days Later set in the wintry French wilderness will not disappoint fans of Danny Boyle’s apocalyptic smash. Holding up in a deserted hospital, a couple (Hélène de Fougerolles, Francis Renaud) must do battle with carnivorous infected as well as marauding bands of fellow survivors in the wake of a mysterious viral plague. (For my money, the excellent makeup effects, intelligent script and superb performances make this a superior companion piece to 28DL than its official, dumbed-down sequel.)

Nude for Satan (1974) (1st viewing) d. Batzella, Luigi (Italy)
Seriously one of the more bizarre ghost stories I’ve ever run across. While there is definitely truth in advertising (nudity and Satanists abound), trying to piece together a coherent narrative is an exercise in insanity. As near as I can figure, two strangers who get into a car accident meet in an afterlife set in a haunted mansion where they alternately know who each other are and/or don’t, while cackling caped figures wander about seducing and bargaining for souls. Strangely compelling within its cheap production values and overwrought dubbed thesping. Gotta love those Italians!

CIVILIAN:

Facing Ali (2009) (1st viewing) d. McCormack, Pete
10 of Muhummad Ali’s opponents tell stories of The Greatest and their respective bouts, providing great insight into the legendary fighter, themselves and the mystique of the sport of boxing. Fascinating stuff.

Fall, The (2006) (1st viewing) d. Singh, Tarsem
Though I missed Immortals in the cinema due to bad planning, I was lucky enough to pick up Singh’s previous visual splendorfest, shamefully ignored by mainstream viewers. Not puzzling that it failed to register at the box office, considering the challenges of marketing a fantasy pick with decidedly adult themes, but the story is told with clear lines and the eye-popping optical tapestry weaved for viewers’ benefit is stunning. Highly recommended, and deserving of a much wider awareness.

Hustle & Flow (2005) (1st viewing) d. Brewer, Craig
A drama about a pimp with a midlife crisis? Yes, and with an electrifying central performance by Terrence Howard as a flesh pusher who harbors an adolescent dream of being a hip-hop superstar, it works like a charm. I’m not a big enough fan to say how worthwhile the original rap songs created in Howard’s basement studio are, but the fact that “Whoop that Trick” and “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” were on my lips the next day must say something.

I Love You, Man (2009) (1st viewing) d. Hamburg, John
Groom-to-be Paul Rudd discovers he has no male friends; in setting out to recruit himself a wedding party, he falls into a “bro-mance” with goofy single guy Jason Segel. Realistic not in the least, but still breezily likeable and entertaining. I’ll confess I don’t understand all the love for Rudd, who's as lightweight as they come, but Segel’s lunky good guy charm picks up the slack.

Murder by Death (1976) (2nd viewing) d. Moore, Robert
“All right, we'll take turns. You look over the first dead, naked body that we find and I'll look over the second.” All-star comedy cast (Peter Falk, David Niven, Elsa Lanchester, James Coco, Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Eileen Brennan, Maggie Smith, Truman Capote, Nancy Walker…and a very young James Cromwell) shines in Neil Simon’s homage/send-up of the great murder mysteries of stage and page.

Troy (2004) (1st viewing) d. Peterson, Wolfgang
Gorgeous but empty, this epic scale version of the classic Greek tale wants to be another Gladiator so badly it hurts. Peterson, who usually excels in grounding his performers, seems to have gotten caught up in the production design CGI bells and whistles, leaving his posturing Hollywood cast (Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Brian Cox, Orlando Bloom and Peter O’Toole) to strut, sneer and smite without an ounce of integrity.

DE PALMA HAT TRICK:
Fury, The (1978) (3rd viewing)d. De Palma, Brian
Kirk Douglas glowers magnificently as telekinetic Andrew Stevens’ dad, endeavoring to save his offspring from the clutches of evil John Cassavetes. With Amy Irving playing another “sensitive” that Douglas recruits to assist him in his quest, it’s puzzling that De Palma would choose to revisit the Carrie playbook so soon, but with Rick Baker’s splattery effects enlivening the proceedings, I’m not complaining.

Blow Out (1981) (2nd viewing) d. De Palma, Brian
Speaking of Carrie, the writer/director reunites two more of his earlier success’ cast members for this riff on Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up, with John Travolta’s movie sound man believing he may have captured an incriminating piece of aural evidence in a politician’s murder, and Nancy Allen’s childlike prostitute a pawn in the conspiracy. Superbly accomplished melodrama met with mixed reviews in its initial release, but has come to be considered one of De Palma’s finest efforts.

Carlito's Way (1993) (2nd viewing) d. De Palma, Brian
Al Pacino followed up his bombastic Oscar-winning hoo-ah performance from Scent of a Woman with more of the same, not quite reaching the explosive heights of the last teaming with his Scarface director. De Palma resurrected his scrapped Untouchables train sequence (which became the superior Odessa Steps-inspired finale) here – unfortunately, we weren’t missing much.

2011 totals to date: 605 films, 378 1st time views, 346 horror, 50 cinema

BOOKS:
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence & Robert E. Lee
Reel Terror, edited by Sebastian Wolfe

Fool's Views (12/5 – 12/11)

2011-12-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

Huge week for movies as we head into the final stretch. This is when I start looking at the calendar and think to myself, “You know those movie projects you’ve been meaning to knock out before the end of the year? Yeah, need to get on that.” Of course, this is also just as Hollywood starts turning out its awards bait, and also when it occurs to me that I need to get in another Share the Scare or two before the end of the year… Bottom line, it means the Views start coming fast and furious - no rest for the wicked wickeds out there.

The good news is that I was able to further indulge in my Peter Jackson 2011 lovefest as well as making a sizable dent in Bob Clark’s filmography, as well as picking up three recent mainstream releases topped by a five-flick StS involving great friends, great chow and a variety of first time views seen in the company of fellow adventurous souls. Talking about you, David Schmidt, Adam Meredith, Sharon Gissy, Jason Coffman, Tery Gallagher, Dan Kiggins and Brian Kirst. Thanks for, well, Sharing the Scare – screaming is always better with company.

There’s plenty more to come, with an array of international horror on the horizon, so let’s get to the week that was. As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Blood Junkie (2010) (1st viewing) d. Rosas, Drew
Much like last month’s The Sleeper, this awesome homage to 80s slashers perfectly emulates that subgenre’s loose grip on filmmaking, but in perfectly knowing fashion. Wisconsin native Rosas heightens everything just enough to let us in on the joke as well, with terrible jokes, hilarious wardrobe choices and transparent use of body doubles. Funny, goofy and bloody in equal measures… and available from the filmmakers at http://www.bloodjunkie.com/store.php

Little Deaths (2011) (1st viewing) d. Hogan, Sean/Parkinson, Andrew/Rumley, Simon
A wicked if uneven UK triptych that takes itself fairly seriously throughout, perhaps to its own detriment. Hogan’s “House and Home” presents a twisted “charitable” couple that takes in the homeless for their own nefarious purposes, while Parkinson’s “Mutant Tool” (the weakest of the bunch) focuses on the mystical powers of the titular non-human’s nether regions. However, it’s Rumley, who’s dazzled us so far with his features The Living and the Dead and Red, White and Blue, that I was the most interested to check out, and his dark tale of a dysfunctional S&M couple is certainly a troubling one, though in the end I had to wonder if the punishment fit the alleged crime.

Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, The (2001) (1st viewing) d. Blamire, Larry
A spirited and enthusiastic love letter to those goofy no budget 50s-60s sci-fi flicks assayed with charm and guile by writer/director Blamire and his intrepid troupe of players (with dingy scientist’s wife Fay Masterson leading the blithering charge). The “plot” concerns a three-way quest for the mysterious element “atmospherium” between Blamire’s square-jawed brainiac, two confused off-course aliens (with requisite rubber-suited mutant friend) and an “evil” scientist looking to revive the boney eponymous protagonist, whose hilarious “I sleep now!” declarations represent the apex of the endlessly quotable dialogue.

Ratline (2011) (1st viewing) d. Stanze, Eric
Poor Eric Stanze. The ambitious microbudget auteur of our times has crafted yet another DIY feature which shows incredible promise and fails to gel as an actual film. Uneven scripting, performances, cinematography and a stubborn inability to self-edit all contribute to wearing this viewer down…just as he has with his previous features Scrapbook and Deadwood Park. Which is really too bad, because as always, writer Stanze has some interesting ideas to impart (it’s director Stanze that needs help); his crosscutting between a former Third Reich parapsychologist’s pursuit of a mystical Nazi blood flag and a female Butch Cassidy/Sundance Kid pair on the run from a drug heist gone wrong has tons of potential. It just needed to be in surer hands. Stanze keeps getting better, but for my money, he has yet to get to “good.”

Satan Hates You (2010) (1st viewing) d. McKenney, James Felix
An absurdly earnest and exaggerated morality tale that may baffle viewers who aren’t familiar with the work of “graphic evangelist” Jack Chick. (I wasn’t, and it did…until fellow fiend Jason Coffman clued me in.) Presenting two intertwined tales of sinners engaging in prurient acts of immoral behavior, McKenney has no qualms about spilling the splatter, but when the subjects actually find Jesus (in one case, via the kind ramblings of television bible bumper Angus Scrimm), we keep waiting for a punchline that never comes – they actually convert and their souls are SAVED. Again, it wouldn’t have worked had they not played the Chick tribute straight, but in playing it straight, JESUS WINS, which may rattle your average horrorphile.

YellowBrickRoad (2010) (1st viewing) d. Holland, Jesse/Mitton, Andy
The writing/directing team of Holland & Mitton conjure an incredibly rich scenario, then people it with an exemplary array of characters such that the first 45 minutes of this well-crafted yarn were literally spent on the edge of my seat. The wonderfully simple premise – a group of researchers seeking to unravel the mystery of a New Hampshire village’s population, who one day in 1940, simply wandered out of town and disappeared forever – is so well cultivated, with creepy, organic atmosphere to spare, one feels like applauding each passing scene for its chutzpah and execution. (The high point is a mid-film, “Holy crap, ain’t never seen that before” sequence that you’ll be thinking about for days afterwards.) However, after maintaining “modern classic” strides for its first half, YBR stumbles badly, meanders, limps and finally drops exhausted on the side of the road like a marathon runner that’s blown himself out. The duo’s failure to deliver a satisfying resolution to what started out so strong is probably the greatest disappointment of my viewing year. Worth seeing, but wildly frustrating.

CIVILIAN:

Descendants, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Payne, Alexander
Being that this seems to be ending up on a lot of critics’ top 10 lists, I’m not going spill much cyber-ink on Payne’s deeply mature, complex and human film, except to say that it’s not nearly the comedy that the trailers make it out to be. Go to be moved, not to bust a gut.

Hugo (2011) (1st viewing)d. Scorsese, Martin
Uncle Marty is a kid turned loose in a candy store with his first 3D venture and very nearly surpasses the visual splendor of Avatar or Pixar’s Up, leading viewers on a merry chase through the rafters and parapets of the Paris train station. Light as a feather, Scorsese imbues his many characters with incredible heart, and his cast (featuring newcomer Asa Butterfield alongside veterans Sacha Baron Cohen, Helen McCrory, Chloe Grace Moretz, Christopher Lee, Emily Mortimer, Michael Stuhlbarg and Ben Kingsley as silent film genius Georges Melies) are more than up for the task. Scripted by John Logan, based on Brian Selznick’s novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret.

Husbands (1970) (1st viewing) d. Cassavetes, John
Peter Falk, Ben Gazzara and Cassavetes are a trio of shallow, callow companions thrown into midlife crises by the death of a friend. Plot is secondary to performance, with seemingly improvised scenarios that careen from the shockingly honest to the uncomfortably aggrandized. It’s a bit of a car crash – one that clocks in at well over two hours – but fascinating throughout.

Jackass 3D (2010) (1st viewing) d. Tremaine, Jeff
I’ve given up trying to feel superior to these cavalcades of crass chicanery – this shinola’s hilarious. The best superfluous use of 3D yet.

Muppets, The (2011) (1st viewing)d. Bobin, James
Can't drink the Kool-Aid on the new Muppets movie. Needed twice the madcap, half the sentimental mo-mos, and 100% less non-muppet musical numbers. I’ve rarely felt so out of synch with popular opinion, but any expectations I might have brought into the multiplex were earned by years of adoration of these felt fleet-feeted funnybeasts – damn straight I wanted it to live up to my idea of what a Muppet movie should be, and well, it didn’t. Weak songs, weak cameos, weak script…and vocal characterizations that flicker in and out like a road trip radio station. Sigh.

Other Guys, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. MacKay, Adam
No Will Ferrell fanboy, me. That said, with a game Mark Wahlberg as his anger-management challenged partner and co-writer/director MacKay expertly balancing huge action set-pieces and absurdist comedy riffing, the megastar delivers his most satisfying performance to date as a nebbish police officer coaxed into pursuit of billionaire shyster Steve Coogan. Eva Mendes is delightful as Ferrell’s “dumpy” wife.

Speed Racer (2008) (1st viewing) d. Wachowski Brothers, The
Lose the annoying little brother and his (can’t believe I’m writing this) unfunny chimp buddy, and the Wachowskis' exercise in insanely colorful eye candy and dazzling visual acrobatics might have landed on its four wheels at the box office. If ever a film cried out for a retroactive 3D retrofit with reissue, it’s this one.

ONE RING TO BIND THEM ALL:

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) (2nd viewing) d. Jackson, Peter
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) (2nd viewing) d. Jackson, Peter
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) (2nd viewing) d. Jackson, Peter
Being that I had never revisited the epic trilogy of our generation since their original separate runs in the cinema a decade ago, and since I’ve been on a Jackson kick this year, it seemed an appropriate opportunity to head back to Middle Earth. For the record, on the first go-round, I was incredibly enthused by Fellowship, less so with Towers, and was thoroughly disenchanted with Return’s defiant refusal to just…freaking…end. The latter closes with its infinite number of melodramatic denouements accompanied by its infinite number of close-ups, the credits finally roll… and we’re treated to illustrated close-ups of our primary cast members. Gah. Knowing what I was in for, things went down better this time around, plus it was much easier to retain character relationships and plot points watching back-to-back-to-back without a year’s wait in between. Note: these were the theatrical DVD versions of the films – I wanted to watch them again first before taking in the “extended” versions next year, in order to be conscious of what was new. I will admit, I find it hard to believe that “more” of anything is really called for here, but I’m willing to approach the 12-hour challenge with an open mind. Stay tuned.

BOB CLARK, WE MISS YOU:

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1973) (2nd viewing) d. Clark, Bob
Co-writer/makeup man/lead actor Alan Ormsby proves effectively grating as a pompous leader of a theatre troupe whose idea of a good time is to head out to an island cemetery, unearth a few corpses, chant a few Satanic spells, and demean any and all within earshot. The amateur performances make for a rough opening hour, but when the dead finally start walking and stalking, things pick up markedly in Clark’s feature debut.

Murder by Decree (1979) (2nd viewing) d. Clark, Bob
A long way from the swamps of Children, Clark finds himself directing a stellar cast of thespians in John Hopkins’ superb appropriation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s master detective Sherlock Holmes (Christopher Plummer, with an equally wonderful James Mason as Dr. Watson) as he matches wits against Jack the Ripper and uncovers a conspiracy that could reach all the way to the Crown of the Realm. John Gielgud, David Hemmings, Frank Finlay, Donald Sutherland, and Genevieve Bujold co-star.

Porky's (1982) (5th viewing) d. Clark, Bob
Clark was pilloried by critics for having “sold out,” but his raunchy 50s comedy not only earns its many laughs (the shower sequence is an undeniable minor classic, although it’s Kim Cattrall’s “Lassie” that still has me laughing out loud 30 years later), but has a good natured heart beating throughout, with lessons about friendship, racism and the mysticism of the female form. One of my personal faves.

Christmas Story, A (1983) (4th viewing) d. Clark, Bob
“In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.” Kidding me? Every moment is sublime perfection. Every… single… moment. Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra rahhhh…

2011 totals to date: 591 films, 368 1st time views, 340 horror, 50 cinema

Fool's Views (11/28 – 12-4)...with MORE Turkey!

2011-12-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome back, peeps and peepettes,

As promised, following the spirit and excess of a certain Thanksgiving holiday, the feasting that began at Chateau de Kitley spilled into the next week as I continued to gobble the cinematic gobblers. Most of said beasties were provided courtesy of Netflix’s streaming service, although I was not above digging into my own private stash to round out the dishes. (In the spirit of full disclosure, IMDb’s Turkey Challenge earns an additional 5 points for “trifectas” featuring the same director or turkeys from a franchise, hence the comedy team of Uwe, Larry and Noriaki.) But, after the calendar page finally flipped, we also indulged in some “legit” horrors, all of which delivered the goods in their own individual fashion – not a stinker in the bunch…although according to some of my fellow blood brethren, that assessment might not be universal. Check ‘em out, see what you think.

As always feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll be sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Evil Ed (1995) (1st viewing) d. Jacobsson, Anders
Raucous bloodsoaked joyride (from Sweden, no less, although set in the U.S.) revolving around timid film editor Johan Rudebeck who is tasked with trimming particularly offensive scenes from his production company’s T&A horror romps. Deliberately taking satiric aim at the prudishly held belief that watching cinematic psycho killers makes one a psycho killer, Ed soon loses his marbles and begins seeing demons, talking to corpses, and chopping up everyone in sight. Though it never quite reaches Evil Dead heights (one of director/co-writer Jacobsson’s obvious influences), it’s still a lively, splattery love letter to horror fans.

Gog (1954) (1st viewing) d. Strock, Herbert L.
This underrated sci-fi effort has probably not gotten the attention it deserves because it’s not incompetent enough to be genuinely silly, sharp enough to serve as a parable or satire, or paced well enough to stand as a superior popcorn flick. That said, this perfectly serviceable programmer centers on a top secret underground facility where a research team – alongside rolling, flamethrower-sporting robots Gog and Magog – is working with supercomputer NOVAC to harness the sun’s radiation…only to have members of the team gruesomely bumped off one by one. While undeniably talky at times, the film maintains a serious tone (which, along with its subterranean setting, reminded me of The Andromeda Strain) and the murder mystery elements make for a worthwhile third act. Originally shot in 3D. Streaming on Netflix and definitely worth checking out for classic sci-fi buffs.

Haunted World of El Superbeasto, The (2009) (1st and 2nd viewings) d. Zombie, Rob
Having not heard much about this animated feature (or maybe I was deliberately, petulantly ignoring it due to Zombie’s mistreatment of the Halloween legacy with his updating and subsequent sequel), I finally decided to give it a go. Much to my surprise, the juvenile mindset that has undercut Zombie’s attempts at comedy in his horror features is given full reign here and the animated format allows for an exuberance that keeps pace with the foul-mouthed, splatter-happy, libido-crazed characters that populate the screen (based on the graphic comic series created by Zombie). Bottom line, there’s enough sex, gore, nudity, action, toilet humor, inspired musical sequences and classic horror references – all delivered at breakneck pace – to satisfy. Zombie also recruits a superb cast of voice actors (including Tom Papa, Paul Giamatti, Brian Posehn, Rosario Dawson, Danny Trejo) alongside his requisite casting of weak-link bride Sherri Moon, with dozens of cameos ranging from Sid Haig to Tura Satana to Dee Wallace. Perhaps not for all tastes, but I dug it.

Kidnapped (2010) (1st viewing) d. Vivas, Miguel Angel
Terrific single-camera exercise from Spain that pits a husband, wife and daughter against a trio of masked Eurothugs who break into the family’s new home and hold them hostage. The handheld camera footage is used to good effect, as the ragged action mirrors the characters’ anxieties, with offscreen action heightening tension and suspense. However, it is after husband Fernando Cayo is taken from the house to extract funds from various ATMs that the film really steps up its game, not only in its plot machinations (which are sturdy enough) but also with the use of split screen, depicting dual dramas unfolding at home and outside. The onscreen violence consistently ramps up in the final 30 minutes – which is where it earns its horror stripes – delivering an intense and dark finale that should herald co-writer/director Vivas as a force to be reckoned with. (His zombie short film, I’ll See You in My Dreams, is also available on YouTube and worth checking out.)

Red State (2011) (1st viewing) d. Smith, Kevin
Better known for his slacker comedies, writer/director Smith takes on the horror/thriller genre to great success, assembling a worthy, second-tier cast to flesh out the story of an extremist religious cult given to entrapping and executing members of the community given to “low moral fortitude” i.e. homosexuals and anyone else who happens to enjoy sexual communion out of wedlock. To go into further plot details would be a disservice to the viewer, but suffice to say the story goes in directions one would not anticipate and while I do take issue with Smith’s too-hasty denouement, there are surprises aplenty. However, the biggest revelation is not one of plot, but of performance – screen veteran Michael Parks is electrifying as the soft-spoken cult leader, oozing understated menace from beneath his flowing silver locks and horn-rimmed glasses. Parks makes the film a must-see all on his own.

TURKEY DAY LEFTOVERS – MORE HAIKU FOR YOU!

BABYBACK BUCHANAN:

Mars Needs Women (1967) (1st viewing) d. Buchanan, Larry (2.9)

Martian Tommy Kirk
Needs some babes with which to spawn
Hey, that there’s Batgirl!

Zontar: The Thing from Venus (1966) (2nd viewing) d. Buchanan, Larry (2.9)

It Conquered the World
With even lower budget
Agar in for Graves

BIG BOWL O’ BOLL:

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (2010) (1st viewing) d. Boll, Uwe (3.0)

Busty vamp with blades
Clint Howard as Mengele
Eh, could’ve been worse

Postal (2007) (1st viewing) d. Boll, Uwe (4.2)

Poster child for
Way non-PC comedy
Hey, kinda liked it

Seed (2007) (1st viewing) d. Boll, Uwe (2.8)

Way effed up slasher
Plus yucky PETA snuff stuff
Wow that hammer scene

GIANT TURTLE SOUP:

Gamera vs. Gaos (1967) (2nd viewing) d. Yuasa, Noriaki (3.3)

Big G makes the shift
From monster to kiddie fare
Fighting weird bird-thing

Gamera vs. Guiron (1969) (3rd viewing) d. Yuasa, Noriaki (3.1)

Space chicks want tyke brains
G stellar high bar routine
Watch knife head, it’s sharp

Gamera vs. Zigra (1971) (2nd viewing) d. Yuasa, Noriaki (2.4)

God, I hate those kids
Um, spaceship made of Skittles?
God, I hate those kids

CLASSIC B/W SCI-FI STUFFING:

Cape Canaveral Monsters, The (1960) (1st viewing) d. Tucker, Phil (2.6)

Scarred space kooks kidnap
Young teen lovers for their bods
Robot Monster Phil

Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962) (1st viewing) d. VeSota, Bruno (2.3)

Bumbling buck privates
Versus space Amazon babes
Ain’t no Bud n’ Lou

Snow Creature, The (1954) (1st viewing) d. Wilder, W. Lee (2.8)

First 50s yeti
Fair but no winter winner
Monster needs more hair

CIVILIAN:

Rumble Fish (1983) (1st viewing) d. Coppola, Francis Ford
Completely different in tone than Coppola’s other 1983 S.E. Hinton screen adaptation (The Outsiders), this moody, black and white version of the classic young adult novel earns major points for the director for not simply repeating himself. Dreamy and leisurely paced, which, along with its R-rating, probably put off the Teen Beat crowd, but with superb early work from Matt Dillion, Mickey Rourke, Nicholas Cage and Diane Lane flanked by veterans Dennis Hopper and William Smith. Screenplay by Coppola and Hinton (who cameos as a prostitute).

2011 totals to date: 571 films, 355 1st time views, 332 horror, 47 cinema

Fool's Views (11/21 – 11/27)...with Turkey!

2011-12-02T17:03:00.000-08:00

Hey there, freaky freaks,

Hope everyone had an amazing holiday. Sorry for the delay in serving up the goodies; I had my hands full with celluloid turkeys, (although I managed to take a few breaks from drowning in cinematic tryptophan to catch up with a certain Boy Wizard and some old school Muppet action). But mostly, it was all about the gobblers, and the eight consumed here - all but one consumed in the presence of the good Jon Kitley & Co. of KITLEY'S KRYPT fame - composed only the first course as you’ll see in next week’s installment.

Much like the October Challenge, the IMDb horror boards host their annual Turkey Challenge, where contestants are invited to indulge in as much of the lowest of the low as they can stand. The “winner” came away having viddied a whopping 142 films (all ranked 5.0 or lower on IMDb) over the course of November’s 30 days. I’ll let you do the math on that one, but suffice to say – that’s a lot of dreck. (I settled for a mere 15 and was more than full.) I’ve revived the Fool’s Views Haikus format for the occasion because hey, seriously critiquing Turkeys seems akin to counting calories on Thanksgiving – contrary to the point, yes?

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR – TURKEY EDITION (FIRST HELPING):

Astral Fiend, The (1976) (1st viewing) d. Florea, John

R. Foxworth versus
See-through creep and drunk Elke
Bonus 10 minutes????

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) (1st viewing) d. Buchanan, Larry

Gators gulping down
Nutty scientist’s mistakes
Agar looks so bored

Horror of the Blood Monsters (1970) (1st viewing) d. Adamson, Al

Colored filter joy
Stock footage and sex machines
Natives are restless

Killing of Satan, The (1983) (1st viewing) d. Pinon, Efren C.

Wild Filipinos
Magic spells, babes, freaks and geeks
WTF galore

Monster that Challenged the World, The (1957) (3rd viewing) d. Lavan, Arthur

Big slobberin’ worm
Munching down the waterways
Girl, leave dials alone!

Night of the Blood Beast (1958) (1st viewing) d. Kowalski, Bernard L.

Spaceman preggers with
Sea monkey baby buggers
Awesome monster suit

X from Outer Space, The (1967) (1st viewing) d. Nihonmatsu, Kazui

Big kaiju thug
Endless trips to space station
White foam everywhere

Zaat (aka Blood Waters of Dr. Z) (1971) (2nd viewing) d. Barton, Don

Want to conquer world?
Becoming a catfishman
Clearly best option

CIVILIAN:
4 for Texas (1963) (1st viewing) d. Aldrich, Robert
This dopey Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin western shoots itself in the foot over and over again. Anita Ekberg shines as Sinatra’s steely smiling lady friend, while Ursula Andress starts off tough then becomes Martin’s lap dog. The painfully unfunny, completely out of place Three Stooges routine in the middle seems perfectly in keeping with a dud of this magnitude.

Midway (1976) (1st viewing) d. Smight, Jack
Lots of stock footage and big stars (including Charlton Heston, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Glenn Ford, and so on…) does not inherently make for a thrilling dramatization of one of the major turning points of WWII. Kind of a drag, and Paul Frees’ dubbing of Toshiro Mifune is distracting on a intercontinental level.

Muppet Movie, The (1979) (5th viewing) d. Frawley, James
It’s sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational… 31 years later, it still makes the grade.

Stripes (1981) (1st viewing) d. Reitman, Ivan
Finally caught up with this, 30 years after its release. It’s pretty evident that Bill Murray had the makings of a major star, and the crackerjack supporting cast (Warren Oates, Harold Ramis, John Candy, P.J. Soles) are loads of fun to watch. Plotwise, it’s completely ridiculous and anyone looking for a shred of realism will be sadly disappointed, but Murray’s unfettered throwaways – many of which seem improvised – are the glue that keep the rough-edged fragments together.

THOSE THREE LITTLE WORDS…PLUS TWO

I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009) (1st viewing) d. Columbus, Curt
Seriously, I have no effing idea how this got into my queue. Someone somewhere out there must have recommended it to me, and whoever you are, you owe me big time. Nerd Paul Rust proclaims his love to Hayden Panetierre during his valedictory speech; wonder of wonders, she and her wild friends decide to spend the night hanging out with him. Stupid as hell, and negative in the funny column.

I Love You, Phillip Morris (2009) (1st viewing) d. Ficarra, Glenn/Requa, John
Jim Carrey plays a career criminal who discovers his true love in Ewan McGregor while in stir. The two are eventually released and set up happy home together, but Carrey’s embezzling ways continue to spell trouble with a capital T. Sporadically funny, but always engaging. McGregor isn’t given much to do, but Carrey’s wild antics feel quite grounded in reality, imbuing them with a welcome emotional weight.

FILLING IN THE POT(TER) HOLES:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) (1st viewing) d. Yates, David

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) (1st viewing) d. Yates, David

Missed these two chapters (and Deathly Hallows Part 1) in the cinema, but after seeing DH2 this summer, I knew that the series was worth catching up with. Listening to Alan Rickman and Michael Gambon speak dialogue to one another is like getting the world’s best ear massage. Phoenix benefits immensely from Imelda Staunton’s presence as a by-the-book-even-if-I-have-to-rewrite-it taskmaster, and Prince has lots of whizbang spells and the surprise demise of a certain wizard. Bottom line, Yates proved himself the man to shepherd the series to its triumphant conclusion.

2011 totals to date: 552 films, 341 1st time views, 315 horror, 47 cinema
Charlton Heston movies: 7

TV:
Cavalcade of America – 1 episode (“The Blessed Midnight”)
Four Star Playhouse – 1 episode (“The Gift”)
Ugly Americans – 7 episodes (14 total for 2011)

Fool's View (11/14 – 11/20)

2011-11-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yep, back again. Needed to get the table cleared before the assault that is the Revenge of the Gobblers aka "Turkey Day 2011" is upon us. (For a look at previous TD butterball gorgings, visit http://www.kitleyskrypt.com/turkeyday.htm)

Well, this week marked the re-emergence of Netflix into AC’s life, having put my subscription on hold during my time in West Virginia. Despite their recent public relations disasters, rising costs and plummeting stock, I’m still a huge fan of the purveyors of the Little Red Envelope and I thank them for making endless cinematic opportunities available to me for a fraction of their retail cost. Over half of the Views this time around are currently streaming on NF and without exception, all are recommended. And yes, we leaned a little heavier in the civilian quarter, but sometimes you just gotta wash the blood outa our eyes, right?

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Human Centipede (First Sequence), The (2009) (2nd viewing) d. Six, Tom
Presumably, many out there have already heard the jaw-dropping premise behind this notorious horror flick from the Netherlands. Roger Ebert felt it necessary to reveal the entire plot as a “public service announcement” to his readers in his attention-grabbing “un-starred” review, but I do not feel this is necessary and in fact, if someone could see this film without knowing anything about it, it would deliver the true impact that director Six deserves. Some critics have lazily dusted off the tired old “torture porn” label and slapped it on, but Centipede goes beyond that, and the intellect and skill on display are worthy of more than an easy dismissal or categorization. Six serves up a truly disturbing set piece that would ordinarily act as the crime to which the antagonist aspires, and which he nearly achieves before the heroes make their daring escape. But instead, Six allows the heinous act to occur…as the end of his first act. We, along with the hapless victims, are then forced to live within this nightmarish scenario for another 45 minutes. It is from this that the true nature of horror emerges – this is no easy jump scare nor gross-out tactic. Six is after something far more dangerous, and it’s no wonder that he has people scrambling for adjectives (or the exits). When I saw this last year, the audience sought escape through nervous laughter and catcalls at the screen, but it was clear they were attempting to avoid real contact with the subject matter. Those who are willing to sit and seriously commune with this brave new work will find something special, and though I can’t recommend this film to everyone, I do recommend it.

ADAM N’ BLEED
I first became aware of Adam Wingard’s name earlier this year, during my “seven Tiffany Shepis films in one day” festival (yeah, I know, I gotta work on a better name for that one), being that he was at the helm of her 2007 feature Home Sick. In my review, I called it an “ill-conceived gorefest with little to no plot or motivation,” so I wasn’t really in any big hurry to dive further into AW’s CV. But compadre (and indie filmmaker) David Schmidt gave a recommendation to the young writer/director’s follow-up, Pop Skull (streaming on Netflix), and when like-minded cinephile Jason Coffman dished a screener copy of Wingard’s most recent effort my way the same week that Rue Morgue featured an interview, it seemed the time was right…

Pop Skull (2007) (1st viewing) d. Wingard, Adam
The good news is that Wingard decides to work within rather than against his budgetary constraints, and his meticulous hyper-edited, shaky-cam sequences are intelligently combined with more lyrical passages, perfectly emulating pill-popping protagonist Lane Hughes’ mental state. Reeling from a recent romantic breakup, Hughes escapes into the haze of over-the-counter cold medications and booze, which may or may not account for his recent visitations by spirits from beyond the grave. As the viewer trapped in the junkie gaze, we’re never quite sure what is real, but the white-trash characters are compelling (if exhausting) and Wingard’s dynamic pacing and cinematic kinetics are flashy enough to keep us interested. It’s not surprising that the film picked up a number of grand prize awards on the festival circuit: it’s a show-offy showcase that never feels pretentious or precious.

Horrible Way to Die, A (2010) (1st viewing) d. Wingard, Adam
What starts out as a fairly straightforward serial killer flick edges into an intriguing character study terrain, then unraveled by its own attempted cleverness. But that’s mostly the handiwork of screenwriter Simon Barrett, who deserves kudos for attempting to humanize A.J. Bowen’s psychopath without necessarily explaining him while at the same time exploring the emotional toll exacted upon Bowen’s unsuspecting girlfriend (Amy Seimetz) after learning what sweetie was up to while she was sleeping. The performances are relatively strong across the board, and it’s unfortunate that Wingard felt the need to distract from his cast and scribe’s clean lines by constantly shifting his lens and focus around to the point of madness (the director also served as camera operator). Presumably his purpose was to keep viewers as off-balance as the characters, but what worked with his previous feature (Pop Skull) achieves the opposite result here – it’s an annoying, attention-pulling stunt that undercuts the scenes’ dramatic power. Wingard’s careening camera smacks of unnecessary compensation – Barrett and the rest of the creative team deserved a little more trust.

CIVILIAN:

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) (4th viewing) d. Spielberg, Steven
As someone who never had the chance to see this on the big screen as a youngster, it’s nice that the Fates (and the Music Box) finally allowed this 30-years-older kid to experience the wonder of Indy and his cohorts in all its widescreen majesty. That said, my tolerance for John Williams’ particular brand of musical overexertion has certainly diminished over the years – many was the time I thought to myself, “Shhhhhh, shhhhhh, not so much, not so loud.” Ah well.

ROLLIN’ WITH THE NOLAN

Dark Knight, The (2008) (2nd viewing) d. Nolan, Christopher

Inception (2010) (2nd viewing) d. Nolan, Christopher

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I enjoyed both of these mightily the second time around (yes, I had only seen TDK once before, in the theater), and as someone who enjoys less and less of what Hollywood chooses to spew at its so-called public, I’m pleased at Nolan’s propensity towards legitimately engaging and well-executed popcorn blockbusters that are dense, action-packed, skillfully performed, and gorgeous to look at. It’s worth noting that the stylish Brit got his start doing small, character-based films like Following and Memento before exploding into the eye candy and action set pieces. Take note, studio execs: It ain’t all in the CGI Ka-Pow!

YOU GO, GIRL

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Oplev, Niels Arden
Girl Who Played with Fire, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Alfredson, Daniel
Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, The (2009) (1st viewing) d. Alfredson, Daniel
After spending a little over 7 hours in the company of novelist Stiegg Larsson characters, I can understand the excitement in literary and cinematic circles alike. I haven’t done enough backward reading to learn what the alleged “controversies” might have been, but Lisbeth Salander is a fascinating character and in the inspired hands of actress Noomi Rapace, her damaged but resilient nature crackles with danger and pain. It will be interesting to see what David Fincher and Co. do with the same material later this year. I was struck by how conclusively the first film ended, and the effort to resuscitate the characters and plot was temporarily felt, but the story woven was engaging enough that I was happy to follow.

PATTON OSWALT, SERIOUSLY…

Big Fan (2009) (1st viewing) d. Siegel, Robert
Young Adult (2011) (1st viewing) d. Reitman, Jason
I had been meaning to catch up with Big Fan (the directing debut of The Wrestler screenwriter Siegel) ever since seeing the trailer a couple years back, but opportunity and inspiration had yet to combine to make that happen. Thankfully, I was privy to a sneak preview screening of Young Adult, the new Charlize Theron film which follows an unpleasant, divorced, alcoholic ghost writer of children’s books as she returns to her small Minnesota hometown with machinations to steal her former high school sweetheart Patrick Wilson away from his wife and newborn. While I was less than wowed by the caustic comedy, I fell hard for Oswalt’s sterling turn as a man trapped – within his own body, within his own nerdish desires, within his blinkered burg, within people’s misconceptions – and yet despite the anger and frustration that simmer beneath the surface, he has remained a funny, charming and good person. YA is not a bad film, but were it not for the presence of Oscar-bait Theron and Reitman, there would be no way that this should be receiving the critical attention/anticipation it is – feels to me like a high-falutin’ version of this summer’s Cameron Diaz vehicle Bad Teacher aka “Watch how awful the hottie can be and still (*giggle*), you just gotta love her, right?”

All of which leads me back to Big Fan, writer/director Siegel’s brilliantly personal character piece, featuring Oswalt as a parking garage attendant who, along with knucklehead buddy Kevin Corrigan, live their lives for the Sunday matchup between the New York Giants and their weekly gridiron opponents. With his squat face and body, Oswalt perfectly captures the associative enthusiasm of the social misfit, the idea of belonging to a community even as it rejects him (in spite of their common interests, he fails to click with the parking lot tailgaters). He writes out his “spontaneous” calls to the local sports-talk radio shows, while his family barely conceals their contempt for his passions. The worm turns after Oswalt tails his favorite player to a strip club and, after a horribly uncomfortable exchange, is mercilessly beaten up. The emotional drama that subsequently plays out is sharp, honest and perceptive in a way that few indie dramas are, and how ironic that a performer generally recognized as a stand-up comedian (his “Death Bed” routine is a riot) is the one who tears your guts out. After nearly two decades of bit parts and supporting roles, Oswalt breaks out as the perfect leading man for Siegel to hang his story on. Highly recommended (and currently streaming on Netflix).

2011 totals to date: 536 films, 328 1st time views, 307 horror, 47 cinema

Fool's Views (11/7 – 11/13)

2011-11-22T14:54:00.001-08:00

Greetings, my friends.

Sorry for the downtime, it’s been a weird time of finding my feet after the madness that was October. Honestly, it’s all a matter of building new habits, of reviewing as we go – you know, like we did last month. But then the morning gets away from me and then I’m more in the mood to watch a movie than to write about it… blah blah blah. Anyway, here we go.

This week in question was a wild and woolly one, composed almost entirely of brand spanking new releases – in fact, most of the films examined below are currently in theaters or are still seeking distribution! Even in the case of the two non-HorrorHound Weekend horror flicks with an earlier than 2010 time-stamp, Mandy Lane is still tied up in distribution hell and Rituals only found its way to legit silver disc status this year. So, color this edition of the Views the freshest we’ve ever unleashed on the unsuspecting hordes. Many thanks to Jason Hignite and Aaron Crowell over at HHW for curating such a terrific lineup for the Cincinnati faithful – it was the closest I’ve ever been to attending a film festival before, where of the seven titles consumed, I had never seen any of them and even more remarkably, had only tangentially heard of two! Most excellent.

So, without any further adieu…

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006) (1st viewing) d. Levine, Jonathan
After watching it sit in the “undated” section for literally years on Fangoria’s Film Forecast – only to disappear completely – I reached out to fellow fiend Jason Coffman who had acquired a copy through means fair or foul (I don’t ask questions) to see what all the fuss was about. Bottom line: this is a reasonably accomplished slasher about a small town hottie (a then-unknown Amber Heard) who generates below-the-belt interest from the opposite sex, whilst a not-so-mysterious suitor goes around knocking off the competition. There’s nothing groundbreaking or taboo-busting here, so how is it that A Serbian Film and Human Centipede are out there for public consumption while this remains out of reach? According to Fango’s Michael Gingold, after purchasing this reasonably accomplished, highly-buzzed-about slasher flick, the Weinstein boys didn’t know how to market it and decided to sell it off to Senator Entertainment…which subsequently went bankrupt, leaving the film tied up in litigation. However, perusal copies made the Hollywood rounds – Heard is now an established star while writer/director Levine is rubbing elbows and lenses with the likes of Ben Kingsley & Famke Janssen (The Wackness) and Seth Rogen and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (50/50). Still, it’d be nice to see Boys eventually get outside to play.

Rituals (1977) (2nd viewing) d. Carter, Peter
Hal Holbrook leads a quintet of vacationing surgeons out into the woods for a little R&R, only to find themselves hunted down by a mutant killer. Listed as one of Rue Morgue magazine's “101 Alternative Horrors”, there’s no denying the Deliverance influence, but the fine performances and gritty atmosphere allow it to survive the comparisons admirably. Veteran character actor Lawrence Dane pulls double duty as co-star and producer, with Peter Carter in the director’s chair. Previously only available via muddy, edited public-domain versions under its Stateside release title, The Creeper, Code Red finally released this in 2011 (after numerous delays) in a semi-cleaned up version (apparently the original negatives for the closing reel were damaged, so this is as good as it gets, folks).

HORRORHOUND WEEKEND – CINCINNATI 2011

Chillerama (2011) (1st viewing) d. Green, Adam/Lynch, Joe/Rivkin, Adam/Sullivan, Tim
This anthology is a love letter from four of indie horror’s brightest boys, all of whom possess an appetite for outlandish gross-out humor, with bodily fluids painting the walls, floors, ceilings, backyards...you get the idea. Lynch handles the wraparound structure (“Zom B Movie”), setting the events at veteran character actor Richard Riehle’s to-be-demolished drive-in theater, while his compatriots’ featurettes make up the triple bill screened. Rivkin’s effort, “Wadzilla,” concerns the fallout from a Viagra-like drug whose side effects involve increased sex drive, groin pain and, oh, GIGANTIC MUTANT SPERMATOZOA. Sullivan delivers a way-gay riff on the 50s werewolf mythos with “I Was a Teenage Werebear,” with lots of slippery, leather-clad hardbodies and musical numbers amidst the occasional bloodletting. But it’s Adam Green’s “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein” that delivers the biggest laughs, not surprising when one takes the Hatchet-man’s early comedic shorts features into consideration. With Joel David Moore and Kane Hodder as a insanely shrill Hitler and a reanimated puzzlehead named “Meshuggenah” respectively, this is a well-crafted piece of absurdist amusement. Yes, all of the segments probably go on a bit longer than necessary, but if approached with the good-natured spirit that the enterprise is presented, even that mild complaint is easily brushed off.

Cold Sweat (2010) (1st viewing) d. Bogliano, Adrian Garcia
Terrific Argentinian thriller about a pair of geriatric revolutionaries who’ve gone from trying to change the world to the more modest goals of capturing and torturing local females. Throw in a love triangle of potential victims, vats of acid and a boatload of nitroglycerin (whose explosively lethal potential are exquisitely demonstrated for the uneducated), and you’ve got a deliciously debauched recipe for high n’ spicy tension.

D4 (2010) (1st viewing) d. Dickerson, Darrin
Borrowing handily in spirit from the Predator playbook, writer/director/star Dickerson unfolds the testosterone-jacked sci-fi tale of a nefarious government organization kidnapping epileptic children and transforming them into steroid-inflated musclebeasts. With his meager $35K budget, Dickerson achieves a blockbuster aura, utilizing his forest exteriors to great effect as his group of hired mercenaries attempt to infiltrate the covert governmental stronghold. A welcome blend of B-action, B-sci-fi and B-horror (available directly from the filmmakers at http://www.7-7-10.com/), and the pleasant surprise of the Weekend.

Down the Road (2011) (1st viewing) d. Christopher, Jason
A worthy entry in the nouveau slasher sweepstakes, with the surprising inclusion of a vengeful and articulate antagonist (well essayed by Brian Gallagher) who ends up being the most sympathetic onscreen character. Granted, considering the array of human fodder surrounding him, this is not as revelatory an accomplishment, but these are solid performances of annoying characters rather than the contrary. Impressive gore and body counts should make this a hit with the horror crowd, and I’m curious to see what else Christopher has up his sleeve. One quibble: Who lets their kid draw a hopscotch court in the middle of the freaking road? Bad Parenting 101.

Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010) (1st viewing) d. Hartley, Mark
Cheap thrills/no frills filmmaking expert Mark Hartley returns to the fray, following up his deservedly acclaimed Oz-ploitation documentary Not Quite Hollywood with this “ultimate B-movie feast from the Far, Far East.” During the 60s and 70s, there was no stunt too risky, no story too ridiculous and no article of clothing that couldn’t be shed in the name of lowbrow, drive-in entertainment, and the Philippines represented a mecca of exotic locales and lax safety regulations for bottom-line-minded filmmakers like Roger Corman, Eddie Romero and Sam Sherman. Tons of amazing footage combined with excellent talking head work by survivors Pam Grier, Chris Mitchum, John Landis, Pete Tombs, Gloria Hendry, Sid Haig and many, many more. A must-see for any card-carrying cinephile.

Puppet Monster Massacre, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Mills, Dustin
From the title card, hopes rise accordingly that we might experience something akin to the unhinged heights of Peter Jackson’s muppets-on-crack opus Meet the Feebles. However, PMM manages to simultaneously impress and disappoint: the low grade puppet effects and greenscreen f/x work a treat, with the occasional CGI bloodburst only adding to the charm, but Mills plays it terribly safe in the script department, content to regurgitate House on Haunted Hill…if Vincent Price and Co. were to endlessly rattle off tired, sporadically titter-worthy fart n’ poop jokes via lackluster vocal characterizations. It’s clear that one-man-band Mills is a huge fan of the genre and has the can-do spirit to forge his path, but in the future he would do well to bring aboard a cold-blooded producer that insists on a ruthless editor and a funnier screenwriter/cast. It’s true, puppet dying is easy – puppet comedy, on the other hand, is hard.

Sleeper, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Russell, Justin
There’s been a lot of talk about recent films that recapture the aura of an “old school slasher,” but the flash and f/x of most of these miss the point that half the charm of the 80s heyday were the cheapjack effects amidst underlit starlets and real-world locations. Much in the way that Ti West’s The House of the Devil captured the late 70s feel, writer/director Russell realizes an authentic atmosphere that genuinely transports the viewer to a bygone era. This is not to say that Sleeper is a legitimately “good” film – it’s filled with clichés, fair-to-weak performances, less-than-stellar f/x, unconvincing gore, and the tease of only one member of the underwear-happy sorority house willing to pop her top – but damn it, that’s the point, and one gets the feeling that died-in-the-wool slasher fan Russell knows this. Personally, I’d rather watch real-deal efforts like this than glossy pretenders-to-the-throne like Hatchet any day.

CIVILIAN:

Hanna (2011) (1st viewing) d. Wright, Joe
Saoirse Ronan, star of Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones, turns her sweet Susie Salmon persona on its arse here as an only child raised in the frozen Finland tundra by her ex-operative father Eric Bana, and by raised, I mean trained as an expert linguist, weapons specialist and survivalist. Of course, the day comes when she is discovered by evil government ice queen Cate Blanchett (wielding one of the most inconsistent Southern accents in recent memory) and our young flaxen-haired princess must fight the powers that be to discover her history and destiny. A whole lot of good here, although Wright’s propensity for camera kinetics gets a bit taxing. Ronan’s angel face as she disarms, disables, and destroys her opponents is priceless.

M.M.M.M.…GOOD. (NOW PLAYING AT A THEATER NEAR YOU)

Moneyball (2011) (1st viewing) d. Miller, Bennett
Brad Pitt in full-on Brad Pitt mode (which in my book is good news) as Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane, attempting to reinvent the team-building strategies of baseball with the help of analyst Jonah Hill. Considering that the film’s outcome is a matter of record (we know whether or not Beane’s scheme worked or not – just check the 2002 stats), it’s astonishing how much tension and excitement Miller and company manage to conjure. A real winner, whether you’re a sports fan or not.

Ides of March, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Clooney, George
Ryan Gosling does his taciturn thing as the press secretary of Clooney’s idealistic, “new hope” presidential candidate. A better straight-up thriller than the rabblerousing discussion starter that it seems to want to be – when the big lesson is that all politicians have dark sides, well, we all tested out of that class years ago. Still, worth your time.

Margin Call (2011) (1st viewing) d. Chandor, J.C.
On the other hand, this is the rabblerousing discussion-starting thriller that it wants to be. In a thinly disguised dramatization of the 2008 Lehman Brothers scandal, Zachary Quinto’s risk analyst discovers a disaster in the making according to various complicated formulas that – to the movie’s credit – seem plausible, comprehensible and beyond our reach all at the same time. When he brings it to his superiors’ attention (an extraordinary ensemble that includes Paul Bettany, Kevin Spacey, Simon Baker, Demi Moore and Jeremy Irons), decisions are made that basically boil down to this: If you’re a spinach company and you raise a crop of poisoned spinach, do you go bankrupt or do you sell the poisoned crop, kill your neighbors, and run away with the loot? Guess which option they take. Infuriating examination of the capitalist condition, and a superb drama to boot.

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) (1st viewing) d. Durkin, Sean
Elizabeth Olsen arrives in a big, big way with her multidimensional portrayal of a young lady who leaves a modern day cult/commune, escaping to her sister Sarah Paulson’s country home in Connecticut but the demons of her mind continue to pursue her. Writer/director Durkin isn’t about providing easy answers and the unreliable narrator that is Olsen creates some incredible moments of paranoia and tension. John Hawkes, as the seductive Manson-like leader, equals his electrifying turn in Winter’s Bone without replicating it.

2011 totals to date: 525 films, 321 1st time views, 304 horror, 45 cinema

Dig, You Sucker... (i dig your blog award)

2011-11-17T05:43:00.001-08:00

Hey troops,

I'm already overdue to post the latest batch of Fool's Views (funny how I managed to post nearly every single day during the October Challenge, and now I'm back to my accustomed practice of dithering and dawdling).

I also owe you guys a recap from the awesomeness that was HorrorHound Weekend Cincinnati 2011. Yep, still working on that.

In spite of all this, my good online pal Jude Felton (aka The Lord of Filth) decides to lay this on me out of the blue:

Now, apparently there are some rules that go accepting this award. Luckily, they are the kind of rules I can totally live with.

1) Gratefully accept this award. (Done)
2) Link to the person you received it from. (Done)
3) Post 3 interesting facts about yourself. (Um, I'll try)
4) Pass this award around to at least 5 blogs you dig. (See below)
5) Notify said 5 bloggers (Done)

THREE INTERESTING FACTS

1. I was born in 1968, the same year as Night of the Living Dead, Planet of the Apes, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Rosemary's Baby, Witchfinder General, and Destroy All Monsters. Is it any wonder I'm a horror fan?

2. I have visited every U.S. State except Alaska.

3. Everywhere you look in my house, there is either a monster, monkey or dinosaur represented in some way.

FIVE BLOGS I DIG

1. Kitley's Krypt - Not technically a blog, but since Jon provides an amazing weekly scroll of what's going on in his world of horror, complete with Mystery Photos, reviews of horror books, DVDs and soundtracks, lessons in horror history, and upcoming events, I'm willing to make an exception.

2. Krell Laboratories - You want smart film criticism? I mean, like, REALLY FREAKING SMART? Stop by the lab and prepare to have your mind blown and vocabulary expanded.

3. The Framing Business - Gavin Schmitt is a firebrand with a bear-like personality: big and cuddly one minute, tear you a new one the next. This mercurial nature keeps things lively. He's a horror fan with a big brain and a bigger heart (check out his Fight Fear with Fear fundraiser).

4. Video Junkie Strikes Back from Beyond the Grave Will Wilson and Thomas Simmons dish out some of the finest commentary on the lowliest of flicks, from Italian exploitation to the bargain basement big box bastards. Seriously, if you're looking to venture off the beaten track, this is the place to be.

5. A Stuffed Legless Duck Production Film reviews as smart and absurd as the title suggests, Craig J. Clark covers everything from the latest art films to the trashiest that cinema has to offer. He's a true cinephile, embracing the moving image in all its guises, and while his opinions are always his own, they never fail to entertain.

So, there you have it. Dive in deep, fellow fiends.

Fool's Views (11/1 - 11/6)

2011-11-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

Hello True Believers,

Well, the Challenge d’ Octobre that left 115 nightmares in the minds of the Foolish has faded into memory, but like any marathon runner, it’s best to keep walking for a bit in order to avoid cramping up. At least that’s what I told myself as I continued my viewing spree into the next week, consuming another 13 features before Sunday rolled around. However, the notable thing about the past week’s vidddying (aside from the fact that there were actually a couple civilian films back in the mix) was that all of them came from the shelves of fellow fiends as opposed to the hallowed halls of Chez AC, Netflix or even the public library. Nope, these were all straight from the school of “Dude, you need to watch this,” discs and tapes that had been sitting on my to-watch pile, some literally for years. So, high-fives to Joe Foust, Craig J. Clark, Rom Barkador and especially Jason Coffman for spreading the wealth and expanding the consciousness.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Howling: Reborn, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Nimziki, Joe
Not really a sequel or a prequel to Joe Dante’s 1981 lycanthrope classic, but then again, this is no surprise when looking at the Howling franchise en toto. Introverted high school nerd Will Kidman secretly pines for rebellious bad-girrrl hottie Lindsey Shaw, and is understandably shocked when she suddenly takes a liking to him during finals week. Writer/director Nimziki does a little bait n’ switch about halfway through, turning Shaw from predator to prey after Kidman starts lupus-ing out, but in the end, this is a serviceable wolfman flick for the Twilight crowd, with a surprisingly welcome amount of hairy practical effects amidst the requisite CGI.

Let's Kill Uncle (1966) (1st viewing) d. Castle, William
Relatively tame if enjoyable gray comedy with Pat Cardi’s young thrill-seeker finding himself the target of drolly homicidal uncle Nigel Green after the lad inherits a fortune from his late father. It’s all very much kiddie fare with Green smilingly declaring his murderous intentions, even creating “safe zones” and “rules of conduct” as he pursues his adolescent quarry. Based on a novel by Rohan O’Grady, this is one of producer/director Castle’s minor efforts, comparable to his 13 Frightened Girls in both tone and thrills. Still, a shark-occupied swimming pool provides a lovely taste of Castle’s special brand of charming cheese and Green’s lively performance is more than worth checking out.

Silent House, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Hernandez, Gustavo
Undeniably the first horror effort from Uruguay I’ve ever seen, but it’s also one of the very few (if any) “real-time” fright features I can recall. A young lady (Florencia Colucci) and her father (Gustavo Alonzo) spend the night in an old house they have been enlisted to clean and rehab, one which reveals itself to not be as vacant as originally believed. Colucci becomes our main point of focus, as she wanders the house seeking the source of random creepy noises, with Hernandez’s camera prowling about and around her. The ever-changing POV and handheld cinematography is a little off-putting at times, as is the relentlessly padded-out narrative (how many times must we go up and down the stairs?) and the “unreliable narrator” plot twist. But the illusion of one continuous shot is quite mesmerizing and deserving of kudos, while the claustrophobic atmosphere amidst dusty relics and shadowy mirrors generates chills aplenty. Well worth your time (Hollywood clearly agrees, since an American remake is already in the works with Martha Marcy May Marlene breakout Elizabeth Olsen in the lead role).

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011) (1st viewing) d. O'Brien, Declan
The ongoing adventures of those West Virginia inbred mutants never seemed to necessitate a backstory, but since that’s only the pre-credits sequence of this gory slaughterfest, so the subtitle is a bit of a misnomer. Apparently the trio of misshapen murderers were originally inmates at a mental health facility, but in classic prison break tradition, they escape and lead a revolt that leaves the staff and most of their fellow loonies dead and shredded. Flash forward 30 years to present day where a group of horndog co-eds take a…wait for it…wrong turn while on a snowmobiling adventure, eventually taking shelter from the blizzard-like conditions at the presumably deserted hospital. Writer/director O’Brien, who also helmed WT3, is clearly a slasher gorehound at heart, because the splattery kills are only worthwhile aspects to be found – there’s not a single worthy character onscreen, shrill protagonists and grunting antagonists alike. Ultimately, the whole enterprise is equally dumb and nasty throughout, with a wrap-up ending that may leave your forehead bruised from the inevitable face-palm.

W.T.F. x3: NOT YOUR EVERYDAY HORROR
Death Warrior (aka Olum Savascisi) (1984) (1st viewing) d. Arkin, Cuneyt/Inanc, Cetin
Absolutely bonkers Turkish martial arts extravaganza with superstar secret agent Cuneyt Arkin trampolining over hill n’ dale, smashing the bad guys and smooching the women. Less of a plot than a grab bag of WTF sequences that will have you picking your jaw off the floor while scrambling to put your eyeballs back in your head. Only tangentially a horror flick by virtue of a yeti-like beastie menacing Arkin’s inner circle, but anyone who embraces low budget/high insanity factor frolics will find much to love here. (Note: the entire film is on YouTube for your viewing pleasure here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SIWc_Z7z7Y

Eyes of Fire (1984) (1st viewing) d. Crounse, Avery
Curious little feature that’s two parts historical drama, one part mystical horror flick as settlers fleeing from the religious hysteria of their village (adulterous priests shall not be tolerated, thank you very much) encounter Native American wood spirits in the form of faces in trees and spectral children. There’s some admirable atmosphere cultivated, although the frequent speedy fades-to-black undo the spell time and again. Also in Crounse’s script’s favor is its venerable unpredictability, introducing new characters and situations with abandon. Leaf monsters, exploding tykes and Irish witches gambol about our intrepid band’s woodland stronghold, and while it’s never really scary, it’s never dull either.

La Blue Girl: Revenge of the Shikima Realm (1995) (1st viewing) d. Kobayashi, Yo
Tentacle-raping alien descends upon a trio of Japanese schoolgirls in this live-action version of the classic hentai anime, delivering the goods in nubile slimy fashion. There’s no shortage of female nudity as the extraterrestrial lothario plies his kinky trade, with white cotton undies and plaid skirts left a-fluttering to the floor, until the resourceful young ladies reveal their inner ninja in a climactic sword-slinging finale. Definitely not for the conservative type, but for the adventurous and lascivious, this is a mind-blowing, pulse-raising specialty dish not often found on the cinematic menu.

SHINE THAT PUPPY UP GOOD
Laid to Rest (2009) (2nd viewing) d. Hall, Robert
Prolific f/x artist Hall (Buffy, Firefly, The Burrowers, Quarantine) takes the director’s chair for his sophomore outing (following 2004’s personal coming-of-age story Lightning Bug), delivering a relatively satisfying old-school slasher flick. However, while it features some undeniably nifty/gory kills & thrills – as well as a unique visage for his masked maniac ChromeSkull – there’s an inordinate amount of suspension of disbelief required of the audience, and the “mystery” of busty amnesiac Bobbi Sue Luther’s (Hall’s wife, who also produced) identity is underwhelming, to say the least. Kevin Gage (Strangeland, Chaos) co-stars, with a welcome cameo from genre stalwart Richard Lynch. Considerably more enjoyable on a second viewing, but still no classic.

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011) (1st viewing) d. Hall, Robert
Seems like director Hall might have taken the criticisms about his psychotic antagonist’s vague backstory to heart, as he and co-writer Kevin Bocarde have worked overtime to provide an inordinately complex (and implausible) organization to assist Chromeskull in his sanguinary showcases, headed by twitchy protégé Brian Austin Green and cool-as-ice personal assistant Danielle Harris. Unfortunately, where the original LtR was an old-school slasher, the follow-up feels like a stale later-stage entry in the Saw series, complete with a police task force tracking the killer and underground lairs filled with equal parts technology and analog sharp-edged implements. This change of tone and scope will annoy or delight fans of the original, depending on their disposition. (Consider me in the “annoyed” camp, though at least Hall & Bocarde took great pains to resurrect their thoroughly vanquished hero rather than claiming amnesia.)

GIALLO DOUBLE SCOOP
Amer (2009) (1st viewing) d. Cattet, Helene/Forzani, Bruno
A love letter to the stylings of a bygone era, with gliding cinematography, startling imagery, haunting eroticism, vibrant primary lighting schemes…and a nearly wordless narrative spanning three separate periods of a young woman’s sexual awakening. Some have called this a nouveau giallo, but while there are numerous nods and direct references to the subgenre (black gloved killers and shadowy figures abound), it’s more representative of the entirety of Italian cinema, art house and exploitation alike. Regardless of how one interprets the rich symbolism or which of the triptych is the most personally satisfying – I favor the spectral childhood-based chapter – there’s no denying the skill on display (though its loose narrative and “style over substance” approach will likely prove off-putting to general viewers). Cattet and Forzani are two names to keep eyes out for, and I for one eagerly await their next effort, an entry in the 26-part anthology film, The ABCs of Death.

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso) (1975) (4th viewing) d. Argento, Dario
David Hemmings plays a English jazz pianist in Italy, who after a late-night set, witnesses a brutal murder and feels compelled to unravel the mystery. Considered by many to be the apex of the giallo subgenre, this is Argento in his 70s prime, with dazzling, dizzying camerawork capturing beautifully violent set-pieces, all set to the driving rhythms of prog-rock band Goblin (their first collaboration). Though the story is unnecessarily padded out with Hemmings’ interactions with Daria Nicolodi’s headline-chasing reporter (her character was severely trimmed for the U.S. release) and the theatricality of certain performances and shot selections may elicit more giggles than goosepimples from modern viewers, this remains an undeniably influential and important chapter in Italian horror and the genre in general.

CIVILIAN:
Insomnia (2002) (2nd viewing) d. Nolan, Christopher
A worthy remake of Erik Skjoldbjaerg’s 1997 Norwegian thriller, Nolan’s follow-up to Memento (and precursor to his time in the Batcave) follows L.A. detectives Al Pacino and Martin Donovan up to Alaska during their “white nights” period as they attempt to track down a young woman’s killer. Hillary Swank co-stars as the local law, while a less-mannered-than-usual Robin Williams shows up for the second act to serve as foil to Pacino’s weary, ever-unraveling cop.

Winter's Bone (2010) (1st viewing) d. Granik, Debra
Jennifer Lawrence’s star-making turn as a young Missouri woman struggling against poverty, governmental machinery and a backwoods drug running organization is undeniably impressive, but director Granik and Anne Rosselini’s adaptation of Daniel Woodrell’s novel is equally impressive in its straightforwardness and unapologetic tone for even the most rustic of characters. John Hawkes also received an Oscar nod for his tightly coiled performance as Lawrence’s uncle, a man of mysterious motives and methods.

2011 totals to date: 511 films, 308 1st time views, 296 horror, 35 cinema

BOOKS:
Shock Value by Jason Zinoman

SCARE-A-THON 2011 -- FINAL RESULTS

2011-11-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hello Boils and Ghouls,

With that, we come to the end of another October Challenge. I gotta say, this was by far the deepest dive I’ve taken into the abyss (115 films!!!) and I sincerely thank everyone out there for their support, encouragement and feedback throughout the past 31 days of blood, babes and beasts. I was particularly proud of the myriad of mini film-fests and double features I was able to conjure, living out my programming director fantasy for Channel AC. Hope you dug it as well.

For those of you who came on board as donors to the AmeriCares fundraising drive to aid the unfortunate victims of Hurricane Irene, you are the ones who kept my eyes open into the wee hours at night…after night after night. Bless you. Please contact me at drach101@gmail.com to send in your corresponding pledge amount and let’s get these people some much-needed help. (A special word of thanks to Gavin Schmitt, whose own diligent fundraising efforts kept a persistent spur in my side – congrats to you, good sir.)

Below are the final statistics, as well as links to each day’s respective reviews. Hope you enjoy the walk back down memory lane, dark and dangerous as it might be. As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

FINAL TOTAL:
First Time Views: 56
Repeats: 59
Total Films: 115

BONUS BITS:

Total Minutes: 10,869

Average Length: 94.5min

Busiest Day: 568min (10/6)

Longest Movies: Day of the Triffids (157min), Brotherhood of the Wolf (152min)

Shortest Movies: Gorotica (60min), Undertaker and His Pals (63min)

Oldest Movie: Vampyr (1932)

Newest Movies: Paranormal Activity 3 (10/21/11), The Thing (10/14/11)

Most Movies/Day: 6 (10/6, 10/31)

Fewest Movies/ Day: 1 (10/29, 10/30)

# Countries represented: 17
(USA, UK, South Korea, Japan, Mexico, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Italy, Spain, Canada, France, Australia, Czechoslovakia, Belgium, Netherlands, Serbia, Germany)

Favorite Discoveries:
The Woman, A Serbian Film, Human Centipede II, Starship Troopers 2, The Pit, The Black Torment, Jigoku, Finale, Screamplay, Big Man Japan, Children of the Corn II, The Objective, The Day of the Triffids, The Undertaker and His Pals, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Witches’ Hammer, Nature of the Beast, Gorotica, My Mom’s a Werewolf, Cthulhu, Exorcismus

Favorite Revisits:
Silent Scream, Santa Sangre, Battle Royale, Duel, The House That Screamed, Q, I Married a Monster from Outer Space, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Tourist Trap, Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, Ravenous, Killer Tongue, Night of the Demon, High Tension, Black Sunday, The Thing from Another World, Vampyr, Blood and Roses, Alucarda, Tower of Evil, House of Whipcord

Day by Day Breakdown
10/1
"I SCREAM" PARTY
Silent Scream (1980) (2nd viewing) d. Harris, Denny (USA) 87min
Screamplay (1985) (1st viewing) d. Seder, Rufus Butler (USA) 90min
Scream and Scream Again (1970) (2nd viewing) d. Hessler, Gordon (UK) 95min

"BIT O' THE BRIT
Oblong Box, The (1969) (2nd viewing) d. Hessler, Gordon (UK) 97min
Tower of Evil (1972) (2nd viewing) d. O'Connelly, Jim (UK) 89min

10/2
THEY GROW 'EM BIG IN ASIA
Host, The (2006) (2nd viewing) d. Bong, Joon-ho South Korea 119min
Big Man Japan (2007) (1st viewing) d. Matsumoto, Hitoshi (Japan) 113min

KIDS N' CORN
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992) (1st viewing) d. Price, David (USA) 92min
Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995) (1st viewing) d. Hickox, James D.R. (USA) 92 min

10/3
TERROR EN LOS PASILLOS (TERROR IN THE AISLES), MEXICO-STYLE
Borderland (2007) (1st viewing) d. Berman, Zev (Mexico) 105min
Vampiro, El (1957) (1st viewing) d. Mendez, Fernando (Mexico) 95min
Vampire’s Coffin, The (1958) (1st viewing) d. Mendez, Fernando (Mexico) 80min
Santa Sangre (1989) (2nd viewing) d. Jodorowsky, Alejandro (Mexico) 123min

10/4
I’LL HAVE A COUPLE FEISTY QUARTER POUNDERS…
Battle Royale (2000) (3rd viewing) d. Fukasaku, Kinji (Japan) 122min
Battle Royale II (2003) (1st viewing) d. Fukasaku, Kinji/Fukasaku, Kenta (Japan) 134min

TELL ME A STORY, WAIGONG…
Chinese Ghost Story, A (1987) (2nd viewing) d. Ching, Siu-Tung (Hong Kong) 98min
Chinese Ghost Story II, A (1990) (1st viewing) d. Ching, Siu-Tung (Hong Kong) 104min

10/5
GET YOUR MOTOR RUNNIN’…
Freeway Killer (2010) (1st viewing) d. Murlowski, John (USA) 85min
Duel (1971) (3rd viewing) d. Spielberg, Steven (USA) 90min
Psychomania (aka The Death Wheelers) (1973) 2nd viewing) d. Sharp, Don (UK) 85min

MILITARY HORROR: OPERATION “O”
Objective, The (2008) (1st viewing) d. Myrick, Daniel (USA) 90min
Outpost (2008) (1st viewing) d. Barker, Steve (UK) 90min

10/6
“CREATURE” FEATURES
Perfect Creature (2006) (1st viewing) d. Standring, Glenn (New Zealand) 88min
Terror Creatures from the Grave (1965) (1st viewing) d. Pupillo, Massimo (Italy) 85min

IN THE DARK, DARK WOODS…THERE WAS A DARK, DARK HOUSE…
House of Wax (2005) (2nd viewing) d. Collet-Serra, Jaume (USA) 113min
House of the Wolf Man (2009) (1st viewing) d. McGarr, Eben (USA) 81min
House That Screamed, The (aka La Residencia) (1969) (2nd viewing) d. Serrador, Narcisco Ibanez (Spain) 99min
House of Whipcord (1974) (2nd viewing) d. Walker, Pete (UK) 102min

10/7
TERROR FROM ABOVE: ALIEN HORROR
Species (1995) (2nd viewing) d. Donaldson, Roger (USA) 108min
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004) (1st viewing) d. Tippett, Phil (USA) 92min
Day of the Triffids, The (BBC) (1981) (1st viewing) d. Hannam, Ken (UK) 156min
I Married a Monster from Outer Space (1958) (2nd viewing) d. Fowler, Eugene (USA) 78min

10/8
LARRY COHEN: IT’S ALIVE, IT’S ALIVE, IT’S ALIVE…WHAT IS IT?
It’s Alive (1974) (3rd viewing) Cohen, Larry (USA) 91min
It Lives Again (1978) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 91min
It’s Alive 3: Island of the Alive (1987) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 95min
Q (1982) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 93min

10/9
DEEP, DARK AND DANGEROUS…
Hole, The (2001) (1st viewing) d. Hamm, Nick (UK) 102min
Pit, The (1981) (1st viewing) d. Lehman, Lew (Canada) 97min
Bloody Pit of Horror (1965) (1st viewing) d. Pupillo, Massimo (Italy) 74min

HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) (2nd viewing) d. Gans, Christophe (France) 152min
Brotherhood of Satan, The (1971) (2nd viewing) d. McEevety, Bernard (USA) 92min

10/10
IF I WERE A CARPENTER (AND YOUR NAME WAS JAMIE…)
Halloween (1978) (11th viewing) d. Carpenter, John (USA) 91min
Ward, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Carpenter, John (USA) 88min

ROAD TRIP TRAVELS AND TRAVAILS
Tourist Trap (1979) (2nd viewing) d. Schmoeller, David (USA) 90min
Wrong Turn (2003) (3rd viewing) d. Schmidt, Rob (USA) 84min

10/11
HEERE MAY YE BEHOLD, DARK HORRORS “UN”-TOLD
Undertaker and His Pals, The (1966) (1st viewing) d. Swicegood, T.L.P. (USA) 63min
Uninvited, The (1944) (3rd viewing) d. Allen, Lewis (USA) 99min
Unearthed (2007) (1st viewing) d. Leutwyler, Matthew (USA) 93min
Undead (2003) (2nd viewing) d. Spierig, Michael/Spierig, Peter (Australia) 97min

10/12
WHO YOU CALLING CRAZY?
Lunacy (2005) (1st viewing) d. Svankmajer, Jan (Czechoslovakia) 118min
Deranged (1974) (2nd viewing) d. Gillen, Jeff/Ormsby, Alan (Canada) d. 82min.

THERE’S A SMELL OF CHEESE IN THE AIR…
Gargoyles (1972) (1st viewing) d. Norton, Bill L. (USA) 74min
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) (1st viewing) d. Nguyen, James (USA) 90min

10/13
JUST CAN’T QUIT THAT TIFFANY (SHEPIS) GAL
Corpses (2004) (1st viewing) d. Kanefsky, Rolfe (USA) 90min
Cyrus: The Mind of a Serial Killer (2010) (1st viewing) d. Vadik, Mark (USA) 87min

THEY’RE NOT POSSESSED, THEY’RE POSSESSIVES…
Devil's Nightmare, The (1971) (2nd viewing) d. Brismee, Jean (Belgium) 95min
Satan’s Slave (1976) (2nd viewing) d. Warren, Norman J. (UK) 86min
Witches’ Hammer (1970) (1st viewing) d. Vavra, Oktakar (Czechoslovakia) 103min

10/14
BEAUTY IS OVERRATED
Nature of the Beast (1995) (1st viewing) d. Salva, Victor (USA) 91min
Beast in the Cellar, The (1970) (1st viewing) d. Kelley, James (UK) 101min

DO I GOTTA DRAW YOU A PICTURE?
Family Portraits: A Trilogy of America (2003) (4th viewing) d. Buck, Douglas (USA) 103min
Oval Portrait, The (aka One Minute Before Death) (1972) (1st viewing) d. Gonzales, Rogelio A. (Mexico) 87min

10/15 – 10/16
SING ALONG WITH ME, EVERYONE: A-ONE-AND-A-TWO…
Nightmare on Elm Street, A (1984) (5th viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 91min
Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, A (1985) (3rd viewing) d. Sholder, Jack (USA) 87min
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, A (1987) (6th viewing) d. Russell, Chuck (USA) 96min
Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, A (1988) (3rd viewing) d. Harlin, Renny (USA) 99min
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, A (1989) (2nd viewing) d. Hopkins, Stephen (USA) 89min
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) (2nd viewing) d. Talalay, Rachel (USA) 89min
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) (3rd viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 112min
Freddy vs. Jason (2003) (2nd viewing) d. Yu, Ronny (USA) 97min

10/17
MICROBUDGET MADNESS
Live Feed (2006) (1st viewing) d. Nicholson, Ryan (USA) 81min
Gorotica (1993) (1st viewing) d. Gallagher, Hugh (USA) 60min

THE DARK TWINS – WARHOL STYLE
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) (2nd viewing) d. Morrissey, Paul (Italy) 95min
Blood for Dracula (1974) (3rd viewing) d. Morrissey, Paul (Italy) 106min

10/18
GETTIN’ HUNGRY OVER HERE
Killer Tongue (1996) (2nd viewing) d. Sciamma, Alberto (Spain) 98min
Ravenous (1999) (3rd viewing) d. Bird, Antonia (UK) 101min

NO ONE SAID LOVE WAS EASY
My Bloody Valentine (2009) (2nd viewing) d. Lussier, Patrick (USA) 101min
Love Me Deadly (1973) (1st viewing) d. Lacerte, Jacques (USA) 95min

10/19
DOUBLE DARE-WOLF
My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989) (1st viewing) d. Fischa, Michael (USA) 90min
Night of the Howling Beast (1975) (1st viewing) d. Iglesias, Miguel (Spain) 94min

TALES OF ELDER GODS (AND SOME SLIGHTLY YOUNGER)
Cthulhu (2007) (1st viewing) d. Gildark, Dan (USA) 101min
Exorcismus (2010) (1st viewing) d. Carballo, Manuel (Spain) 98min

10/20
THERE’S SOMETHING OUT THERE… (LOCAL LEGEND HORROR)
Night of the Demon (1980) (2nd viewing) d. Wasson, James C. (USA) 92min
Rana: Legend of Shadow Lake (1975) (1st viewing) d. Rebane, Bill (USA) 96min
Monstroid (1980) (1st viewing) d. Hartford, Kenneth (USA) 98min

10/21
IT BE NOT PROUD, IT CANNOT BE DENIED, IT PAYS NO TAXES…
Deaths of Ian Stone, The (2007) (1st viewing) d. Piana, Dario (UK) 87min
Death Warmed Up (1984) (1st viewing) d. Blyth, David (New Zealand) 85min
Death in the Shadows (1985) (1st viewing) d. Pieters, Vivian (Netherlands) 97min

10/22
ALEXANDRE AJA BETA/OMEGA DOUBLE FEATURE
High Tension (2003) (4th viewing) d. Aja, Alexandre (France) 91min
Piranha (2010) (2nd viewing) d. Aja, Alexandre (USA) 88min

10/23
ONE WORD IS ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US
Jigoku (1960) (1st viewing) d. Nakagawa, Nobuo (Japan) 101min
Finale (2009) (1st viewing) d. Elfers, John Michael (USA) 93min
Automatons (2006) (1st viewing) d. McKenney, James Felix (USA) 83min

10/24 – 10/25
SURE IS DARK IN HERE…
Black Torment, The (1964) (1st viewing) d. Hartford-Davis, Robert (UK) 90min
Black Sheep (2006) (2nd viewing) d. King, Jonathan (New Zealand) 87min
Shadows Run Black (1986) (1st viewing) d. Heard, Howard (USA) 88min
Black Sunday (aka The Mask of Satan) (3rd viewing) d. Bava, Mario (Italy) 87min

10/26
IMMIGRATION LAWS JUST AREN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE
Alien vs. Predator (2004) (2nd viewing) d. Anderson, Paul W.S. (USA) 100min
Contamination (aka Alien Contamination) (1980) (2nd viewing) d. Cozzi, Luigi (Italy) 84min

10/27 – 10/28
SOME “THING” OLD, SOME “THING” NEW
Thing from Another World, The (1951) (3rd viewing) d. Nyby, Christian (USA) 87min
Thing, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. van Heijningen Jr., Matthijs (USA) 103min

IF IT’S OCTOBER, IT MUST BE SAW, ER, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) (1st viewing) d. Joost, Henry/Schulman, Ariel (USA) 85min

THEATRE OF HUMAN SUFFERING (THE FEEL-BAD TRIPLE FEATURE OF THE YEAR)
Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Six, Tom (Netherlands) 88min
Serbian Film, A (2010) (1st viewing) d. Spasojevic, Srdjan (Serbia) 104min
Woman, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. McKee, Lucky (USA) 103min

I HEAR THE VOICE OF RAIN AND RUIN…
Devil’s Rain, The (1975) (2nd viewing) d. Fuest, Robert (USA) 86min
Ruins, The (2008) (3rd viewing) d. Smith, Carter (USA) 93min

10/29 – 10/30
CRAVIN’ SOME CRAVEN?
Scre4m (aka Scream 4) (2011) (1st viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 111min
Deadly Blessing (1981) (4th viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 100 min

10/31
‘CARMILLA’ SURE IS LOOSE (WELL, THESE ADAPTATIONS ARE…)
Vampyr (1932) (2nd viewing) d. Dreyer, Carl Theodor (Germany) 74min
Blood and Roses (1960) (2nd viewing) d. Vadim, Roger (France) 74min
Alucarda (aka Sisters of Satan) (1978) (2nd viewing) d. Moctezuma, Juan Lopez (Mexico) 85min

PHANTOMS AND PHANTASMS
Phantom of Soho, The (1964) (1st viewing) d. Gottlieb, Franz Josef (Germany) 92min
Phantom of the Paradise (1974) (2nd viewing) d. De Palma, Brian (USA) 92min
Phantasm (1979) (5th viewing) d. Coscarelli, Don (USA) 88min

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/31

2011-10-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

‘CARMILLA’ SURE IS LOOSE (WELL, THESE ADAPTATIONS ARE…)

Vampyr (1932) (2nd viewing) d. Dreyer, Carl Theodor (Germany) 74min
With Hollywood having discovered the vein of horror gold that was Dracula and Frankenstein the year before, pioneering German filmmaker Dreyer unveiled this remarkable tale of vampirism and the occult. Following young traveler Julian West, we arrive at a quiet village that has come under an attack from the undead and the strange adventure unfolds with the feel and tempo of a waking dream. Bold roving camerawork combine with exquisitely crafted visuals (a shadow that leaves its owner, a grave being dug in reverse, characters that materialize from thin air) make this a revelatory cinematic experience especially when held alongside its more traditional, narrative-bound Tinseltown counterparts.

Blood and Roses (1960) (2nd viewing) d. Vadim, Roger (France) 74min
The closest adaptation of the three, Vadim and co-screenwriters Claude Martin and Roger Vailland mount a modest yet gorgeous costume drama version of Le Fanu’s novella. The luminous Annette Vadim (the director’s then-wife) stars as Carmilla Karnstein, secretly pining for her cousin Mel Ferrer, himself recently engaged to the equally stunning Elsa Martinelli. However, when an ancestor’s grave is disturbed by an errant fireworks explosion, the undead spirit of Mircalla Karnstein inhabits Vadim’s lovely form. As the ever-growing circle of blood-drained victims draws ever closer to Martinelli, we are treated to some lovely visual stunts, peaking with a shuttered window that opens onto the watery surface of another dimension (complete with one of Vadim’s victims floating and beckoning for company). While not as faithful as Hammer’s The Vampire Lovers, this is certainly one of the worthier versions of the Carmilla story and well worth seeking out.

Alucarda (aka Sisters of Satan) (1978) (2nd viewing) d. Moctezuma, Juan Lopez (Mexico) 85min
From the faithful to the unhinged, we travel down Mexico way for this trippy spin on the feminist bloodsucker. Upon her arrival at a convent, newly orphaned Susana Kamini befriends exotic Tina Romero and before long, the two are rebelling against their constrictive religious bonds by declaring allegiance to the devil and his dark ways. If your appetites lean toward female nudity, blasphemous Christian imagery, and a truckload of hysterical shrieking, then you’ve come to the right place. Moctezuma revels in wild imagery and wanton emoting, the results being a highly theatrical religious horror piece along the lines of Ken Russell’s The Devils.

PHANTOMS AND PHANTASMS

Phantom of Soho, The (1964) (1st viewing) d. Gottlieb, Franz Josef (Germany) 92min
Phantom of Soho, The (1964) (1st viewing) d. Gottlieb, Franz Josef (Germany) 92min
A golden glitter-gloved serial killer stalks the London streets, carving a bloody path through numerous members of polite society. A reasonably engaging crime thriller whodunit notable for employing the killer’s POV, putting the audience in the driver’s seat of ripping and rending the shocked victims while looking them square in the eye.

Phantom of the Paradise (1974) (2nd viewing) d. De Palma, Brian (USA) 92min
Two years before he emerged as a star filmmaker with Carrie, De Palma concocted this comedy/horror re-working of Phantom of the Opera. When enigmatic studio magnate Swan (Paul Williams, in a stroke of inspired casting) steals aspiring composer William Finley’s rock opera version of Faust, the spurned tunesmith swears vengeance. As he attempts to sabotage the Death Records offices, Finley’s face and vocal cords are destroyed in a horrific record pressing accident, transforming him into a masked freak haunting Swan’s new rock opera house, the Paradise. Walking a fine satirical line between horror and farce, the movie explodes out of the gates with fierce comic bravado, riding the energy of its rollicking musical numbers (penned by Williams). Jessica Harper makes her film debut as the unlikeliest rock starlet ever, Gerrit Graham gives a fine fruity performance as Beef, Swan’s newest protégé, and you gotta love those Juicy Fruits! Rated PG, despite numerous pointed allusions to the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll lifestyle (not to mention a few bloody bits).

Phantasm (1979) (5th viewing) d. Coscarelli, Don (USA) 88min
Writer/director Coscarelli (who would also serve up the Beastmaster series three years later) delivers one of the most daring U.S. horror efforts of the 70s, eschewing traditional narrative devices while embracing nightmare visuals and logic. Aided immeasurably by his extremely likeable and relatable cast of Bill Thornbury, Michael Baldwin, Reggie Bannister and the inimitable Angus Scrimm (as the instantly iconic Tall Man), we dive headlong into the goings-on of a mysterious mausoleum which may serve as the entryway to another dimension. The skull-drilling, brain-sucking flying chrome orbs of death that serve as the Morningside sentries are the most memorable of Coscarelli’s flights of fancy, but there’s never a dull moment as alternate realities, dream sequences and diminutive dwarf assailants lurk around every corner. A true low-budget modern horror classic, followed by three, increasingly confusing sequels.

FINAL TOTAL:
First Time Views: 56
Repeats: 59
Total Films: 115

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/29 – 10/30

2011-10-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

CRAVIN’ SOME CRAVEN

Scre4m (aka Scream 4) (2011) (1st viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 111min
15 years have passed since screenwriter Kevin Williamson and Craven teamed up to revitalize the horror genre and spawned an entire subgenre of knockoff slashers, but what once was clever now feels quaint and more than a little artificially hip. Series stalwarts Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette are all back, with new blood Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Marley Shelton and Rory Culkin dropping like flies under Ghostface’s latest reign of terror in Woodsboro. While there are a few bright spots in Williamson’s dialogue (the stream of horror remake titles in response to a telephonic pop quiz had me smiling) and Craven still knows how to tell a screen story, there’s very little inspiration on display. (A franchise reboot commenting on franchise reboot? No thanks, guys.) I’d say it’s a dead heat between Scream 3 and this “was anyone really clamoring for another Scream movie” installment.

Deadly Blessing (1981) (4th viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 100 min
Craven’s third feature film is a puzzlingly neglected chiller concerned with the potential rise of a demon (or “incubus”) in a Hittite community led by Ernest Borgnine. In addition to numerous well-executed scenes of gore and suspense (including a bathtub sequence that Craven would duplicate three years later in A Nightmare on Elm Street), the cast also features Sharon Stone, Michael Berryman, Lisa Hartman and Battlestar Galactica’s Maren Jensen. Not a true classic, but certainly worthwhile and with its pedigree, it’s surprising that no one has bothered to give this the shiny silver disc treatment yet.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 55
Repeats: 54
Total Films: 109

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/27 – 10/28

2011-10-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

SOME “THING” OLD, SOME “THING” NEW

Thing from Another World, The (1951) (3rd viewing) d. Nyby, Christian (USA) 87min
Along with The Day the Earth Stood Still, this represented the first wave of extraterrestrial visitor movies and with producer Howard Hawks standing behind longtime editor Nyby’s rookie effort (closely behind, some might hasten to say), a classic of sci-fi cinema was born. A team of military and scientific minds gather at the North Pole when a UFO is discovered in the ice, as well as an encased alien lifeform. As 60 years of creature features have taught us, that ice is gonna melt and “things” are gonna go crazy. There’s little I can add that hasn’t been said before and better, but I will say that I was struck on this viewing of just how much information – both plotwise and character – is packed into Charles Lederer’s dialogue (with uncredited assistance by Ben Hecht). The rapid-fire exchanges maintain a fever-pitch, keeping the early expository scenes humming until James Arness’ monster action takes over. Great stuff.

Thing, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. van Heijningen Jr., Matthijs (USA) 103min
Ever since the production announcement of the prequel/remake to John Carpenter’s sci-fi/horror masterpiece (itself a remake of the 1951 Howard Hawks classic), I’ve wavered between soul-preserving pessimism and cautious optimism. After all, setting the action at the Norwegian camp three days prior the events shown in Carpenter’s 1982 film is a novel and worthy approach, and it seemed from all accounts that everyone involved in the production revered their cinematic source material and were intent on getting it right. Sadly, they get it wrong in two fundamental ways: 1) in trying to outdo Rob Bottin’s miraculous practical effects with “CGI-enhancement” and 2) the introduction of Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s paleontologist/final girl to-be character. Regarding the former, this supercharged version of the space creature is completely inconsistent from the incarnation that will in 72 hours menace the residents of Outpost 31: it moves too fast, nimbly drops off limbs, attacks at completely random times... While the ’82 version took its “man is the safest place to hide” tagline to heart, here there’s no reason for it to hide since it can overpower and destroy anything in its path. Winstead does her best, but she’s just wrong for an overly cliché role that is wrong for the film in general – the smart young empowered woman who comes up with all the answers about everything. The venture is not a total loss, managing a few effective sequences and an impressive aural assault (full marks for Rick Hromadka’s shrieking creature effects), but in the end the naysayers were right: best to have left MacReady’s legacy alone.

IF IT’S OCTOBER, IT MUST BE SAW, ER, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) (1st viewing) d. Joost, Henry/Schulman, Ariel (USA) 85min
I enjoyed the original PA quite a bit, having seen it before the hype. I enjoyed PA2 a little less, only because I felt the demonic possession plotline suffered from being overly explained and justified. With this installment, which takes us back to 1988 where we encounter the female leads from the previous two films as children and how they come into contact with the supernatural presence for the first time. I agree with another reviewer’s assessment that the scares here are the most explicit of the trilogy, and on that level it works a treat. As has been the case with all the PA films, one’s enjoyment level is directly proportionate to the degree of suspension of disbelief one is able to generate in order to go along for the ride. For me, it was a satisfying enough diversion with legitimate tension developed, but it’s far from flawless.

I HEAR THE VOICE OF RAIN AND RUIN…

Devil’s Rain, The (1975) (2nd viewing) d. Fuest, Robert (USA) 86min
This pokey Satanic thriller survives on the strength of Ernest Borgnine’s captivating performance as a cult leader and some memorable makeup f/x, particularly in the awesome (if overlong) meltdown finale. (Borgnine’s goat demon makeup is pretty impressive as well). There’s some gobbledygook about a mysterious volume and William Shatner’s ancestor’s family curse, but really it’s all about seeing Ida Lupino, John Travolta (in his first film role) and Keenan Wynn wearing eyeless masks doing battle with the likes of Eddie Albert, Tom Skerrit and Joan Prather, which isn’t very interesting when someone isn’t melting…which is most of the time.

Ruins, The (2008) (3rd viewing) d. Smith, Carter (USA) 93min
Based on Scott Smith’s bestselling novel, this highly effective squirmer manages to provide nasty, gory goodies by the handful without skimping on believable and identifiable characters. A quartet of vacationing American college grads (Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore and Laura Ramsey) take a break from soaking up the booze and summer sun for an impromptu expedition to an ancient Mayan temple. Upon their arrival, they find themselves trapped by the locals atop the titular ruins, which soon reveals itself as the breeding grounds for a particularly nasty species of plant life. The notion of “killer vines” may not initially strike fear into the hearts of the strong, but screenwriter Smith (who adapted his source material) and director Carter Smith (no relation) have delivered a genre movie that’s as concerned with the physical and mental deterioration of its main characters as it is with grossing viewers out or dazzling with effects. The capable young cast admirably scours the emotional spectrum, devolving from entitled hedonists to cold-hearted savages, hysterical naysayers and/or near-catatonics. For the mainstream genre fan looking for an alternative to the steady stream of 80s classic remakes, you could do a lot worse.

THEATRE OF HUMAN SUFFERING (THE FEEL-BAD TRIPLE FEATURE OF THE YEAR)
What’s kind of remarkable regarding these three seemingly unrelated features is that they all traffic in the dubious subject matter of humans torturing other humans, and yet all three bring a degree of sophistication, intelligence and individuality to the proceedings that separates them from the likes of other, lesser cinematic exercises in degradation. It also helped that I knew absolutely nothing about the trio’s content – though I was aware of their “shocking” reputations – as it allowed them to do their jobs unfettered by expectation or foreknowledge of what was to unfold before my wondering eyes.

Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), The (2011) (1st viewing) d. Six, Tom (Netherlands) 88min
Centering around Laurence R. Harvey’s rotund, bug-eyed misfit’s unhealthy obsession with the notorious midnight movie sensation, Six’s follow-up knowingly goes further in every respect than its predecessor and it is this glorious excess that brings the film’s black humor to the fore. It’s hard to recall the last time someone married such vile screen imagery with such a sense of glee, including the viewer in the joke instead of merely assaulting us. Harvey (in his screen debut) proves incredibly adept at mining both the empathy and villainy of his monster – all the more impressive considering he is given no dialogue to work with. A legitimately great sequel to a wildly divisive film.

Serbian Film, A (2010) (1st viewing) d. Spasojevic, Srdjan (Serbia) 104min
When former porno star Srdan Todorovic is approached by mysterious entrepreneur Sergej Trifunovic about doing a new feature, the down-on-his-luck cocksman agrees to saddle up for another go-round…not knowing what – and who – he’s being asked to do. A surprisingly accomplished feature, considering the odious and dark places we are unknowingly led, and one that cannot simply be written off as mere crass exploitation. Not saying it’s an “important” film, but credit must be given to Spasojevic for creating a legitimate, nuanced film that elevates its reprehensible subject matter to a place beyond blind knee-jerk moral-high-ground rejection.

Woman, The (2011) (1st viewing) d. McKee, Lucky (USA) 103min
Working from a script by himself and bad boy novelist Jack Ketchum, McKee unfolds a haunting fairy tale about a feral female captured by Sean Bridgers’ evil ogre of a family man, keeping her in his workshed while his complicit family pitches in to conceal and contain their new prize. There is some extreme, uncompromising violence and degradation on hand, but the real damage is inflicted on a psychological level (a Ketchum staple) with the weak-hearted preyed upon by the smiling monster dressed as Man. Great performances, and if taken as a mythic parable as opposed to realistic drama, it definitely goes down easier on a narrative level.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 54
Repeats: 53
Total Films: 107

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/26

2011-10-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

IMMIGRATION LAWS JUST AREN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

Alien vs. Predator (2004) (2nd viewing) d. Anderson, Paul W.S. (USA) 100min
Considering that the title conjures up images of a Japanese monster mash, any expectations of an intelligent sci-fi classic are ill-advised. And while the film bears little resemblance to its classic origins, if one can manage to switch off the brain and enjoy the mashing, this is an adequate popcorn burner. The film begins with the discovery of an Aztec pyramid buried deep in the ice of Antarctica, with wacky billionaire Lance Henriksen (smirking at his own presence in yet another Alien film) leading a group of archeologists on an exploratory expedition. Upon their arrival (and through some very sketchy translating), the team discovers that two thousand years ago, the pyramid served as an Alien hive for the extra-terrestrial race of dreadlock-wearing Predators, who would enter and combat the Aliens as a rite of passage. As the cinematic fates would have it, it’s time for the next Predator class to start and soon there are spaceships landing, Aliens bursting out of chests, and the clash of the sci-fi titans is on with the humans caught in the middle. With passable CGI effects, minimal character development, and yawning logistical plot holes, AvP only succeeds as the big, dumb fun that it intends to be. Purist fans of the originals will probably be horrified, but after numerous inferior sequels, how high could expectations be? Ultimately, the level of enjoyment will depend on the viewer’s mindset and preconceived notions. Rated PG-13, even though all of its predecessors were R-rated films – oh, how the times are a-changin’…

Contamination (aka Alien Contamination) (1980) (2nd viewing) d. Cozzi, Luigi (Italy) 84min
One of the finer example of 80s Italian cheese, director/co-writer Luigi Cozzi (as Lewis Coates) borrows heavily from Ridley Scott’s Alien but then literally explodes in directions you’d hardly think possible. When a mysterious ship comes floating into a New York harbor, a group of investigators discover a crew that has been turned to a bloody mess and a cargo hold filled with strange pulsating eggs…much like strange pulsating eggs soon discovered in a NYC warehouse. At this point, a previous space expedition to Mars is revealed, which also involved some alien eggs, and we’re off to the races. It's all very silly yes... but that just makes it all the more enjoyable. One of the best “so bad it’s good” flicks, Contamination is highly entertaining from start to finish, rife with over-the-top performances, frequent verbal snafus, crazy conspiracies and a final-reel visual-feast alien creature with eating habits that will leave mouths agape. All topped off with Goblin’s rockin’ musical score and ooey-gooey-kerplooey special makeup effects by Giovanni Corridori. Put on your hazmat suits and take this one for a spin.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 49
Repeats: 50
Total Films: 99

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/24 - 10/25

2011-10-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

SURE IS DARK IN HERE…

Black Torment, The (1964) (1st viewing) d. Hartford-Davis, Robert (UK) 90min
Striking Gothic visuals, stellar cinematography and a wingding of a climactic swordfight elevate this oft-neglected Brit horror. 17th-century aristocrat John Turner returns to his country estate from London with new bride Heather Sears, where he encounters hostility and accusations from his servants and associates. Amidst rumors of witchcraft and long-kept family skeletons, a spate of rapes and murders have befallen a number of local lasses…with all reports stating that the perpetrator is none other than Turner himself…in spite of the fact that he has been visibly out of the county. Fans of Hammer, Amicus and especially Tigon (Tony Tenser was one of the producers) should be pleased with the results derived by director Hartford-Davis, screenwriters Donald and Derek Ford, and a solid production team.

Black Sheep (2006) (2nd viewing) d. King, Jonathan (New Zealand) 87min
As surely as Peter Jackson drew inspiration from childhood idols Willis O’Brien and Ray Harryhausen, King’s admiration for his fellow Kiwi filmmaker’s early madcap horror/comedies is apparent in nearly every scene. Much like Bad Taste and Braindead (aka Dead-Alive), the characters are drawn large and loud, then inhabited by appealing, offbeat actors. Nathan Meister plays Henry, a New Zealand sheep baron’s younger offspring waylaid by a chronic fear of the woolly ones due to childhood trauma at the hands of his sadistic, bullying elder brother. Now grown, Angus (Peter Feeney) has moved into genetically engineering his ovine, the fallout of said experiments resulting in the most ill-tempered baa-baa’s ever to graze a hillside. Of course, the joke of turning the proverbial docile lamb of the field into a homicidal carnivorous beastie is the basis for King’s (who also scripted) black comedy, but thanks to Jackson’s Weta Workshop, audiences are also treated to several half man/half sheep monstrosities and a trough-full of off-color intimations that Angus’ contributions to his work may extend beyond just his brainpower. Directed with verve and performed with shear abandon, this may not be a classic for the ages, but it’s delightful summery fun.

Shadows Run Black (1986) (1st viewing) d. Heard, Howard (USA) 88min
Kevin Costner, playing a dum-dum murder suspect, already had Silverado in the can and The Untouchables on the horizon when this relatively bloodless, brainless, toothless, originally-completed-in-1984 slasher/strangler flick was released to capitalize on the rising star’s fame. While it falls short in the gore department (as well as acting, writing, cinematography, etc.), it works pretty well as a Skinemax flick, as nearly every female pops her top within 10 minutes of showing up onscreen. Strange little red herring subplot involving a loopy priest going by the name of “Father Murphy” (a laugh riot I’m sure for all those Little House on the Prairie/slasher fans out there). Utterly hilarious low-rent closing credits…in which Costner’s name is curiously absent.

Black Sunday (aka The Mask of Satan) (3rd viewing) d. Bava, Mario (Italy) 87min
One of the most atmosphere-drenched cinematic forays into the supernatural. Marrying the feel of the Universal classics with the darkness of a Grimm fairy tale, this tour-de-force directorial debut launched the careers of Italian cinematographer Mario Bava and scream queen Barbara Steele. As shocking as Psycho’s shower scene (which came out the same year), the breathtaking opening sequence in which a spike-studded iron mask is pounded onto a captured witch’s face shocked audiences around the world, passing instantly into horror film iconography. Bava weaves an elaborate tapestry of gloom over this tale of vengeance visited upon the family that burned Steele and her brother at the stake two hundred years before. Though few of the elements of the fantastic story (based on Gogol’s story “The Viy”) break new ground, this is an unabashedly gorgeous exercise in style and stunning black and white cinematography. Steele is outstanding as both the witch, Asa, and her modern-day descendent, Katia. Bava’s pioneering work here (and as cinematographer for 1956’s I, Vampiri) paved the way for fellow auteurs Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci, and created an entirely new genre: the Italian horror film. Absolutely required viewing.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 49
Repeats: 48
Total Films: 97

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/23

2011-10-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

ONE WORD IS ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

Jigoku (1960) (1st viewing) d. Nakagawa, Nobuo (Japan) 101min
After timid fiancé Shigeru Amachi runs down a gangster with his car and flees the scene, he enters a downward spiral of bad luck, with everyone around him meeting with horrible accidental deaths. Eventually, he meets his own demise and in the Underworld the film gearshifts into a 40-minute fever-dream visuals extravaganza, complete with pits of fiery despair, rivers of excrement, fields of human limbs, and horned demons doling out crime-fitting punishments. Certainly not for all tastes, but unquestionably original and boldly experimental, even a half century later.

Finale (2009) (1st viewing) d. Elfers, John Michael (USA) 93min
Impressive and well-polished microbudget effort from Ohio-based writer/director Elfers and his merry band of collaborators. When Carolyn von Hauck’s family is targeted by demon-worshipping cult members (headed by a double amputee priest and a vicious high school drama teacher!), she scrambles to save her kin’s skin, despite skepticism and outright defiance on their parts. Superb performances and creative cinematic solutions belie the meager coffers, leaving one doubly impressed at how little forgiveness and/or generosity is required of the audience. (Aspiring horrormeisters should sneak a peek at the behind-the-scenes DVD featurette to see true bleeding-celluloid ingenuity and determination at work.) Well worth checking out.

Automatons (2006) (1st viewing) d. McKenney, James Felix (USA) 83min
Bleak, low-rent, black and white vision of a post-WWIII dystopia, where decidedly analog robot warriors venture onto wastelands to do daily battle. McKenney’s titular troops are comprised of what appear to be – depending on the shot – plastic wind-up toys, hand-manipulated puppets or good ol’ fashioned guys in metal suits, and this nuts-n’-bolts approach manifests a certain charm, as does Angus Scrimm’s presence via recorded video journal entries. Even so, the enterprise feels a bit boggy (even with its brief 83-minute runtime) and the non-Scrimm human performances are amateurish and unconvincing. A shorter and less talky format would’ve been preferable, but still admirable on its own terms. Larry Fessenden executive-produced and cameos as a freedom fighter.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 47
Repeats: 46
Total Films: 93

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/22

2011-10-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

ALEXANDRE AJA BETA/OMEGA DOUBLE FEATURE

High Tension (2003) (4th viewing) d. Aja, Alexandre (France) 91min
Frenchman Aja burst onto the horror scene with this, his second feature film, which absolutely delivers on its titular promise. The premise is almost quaint in its simplicity: Two schoolmate chums (Cecilie de France, Maiwenn) get together for a weekend of study and relaxation at the brunette’s parents’ country home, only to come under the assault of marauding serial killer Phillippe Nahon. But it is the mayhem’s expert execution – literally and figuratively – that announced a major talent in the making. Combining forces with partner/producer Gregory Levasseur (with whom he wrote the script) and a terrific team of collaborators (the sound design deserves special note, as does the copious black-streaked bloodshed provided by longtime Fulci collaborator Giannetto de Rossi), Aja delivers perhaps the strongest slasher flick of the new millennium…right up until the 1:17 mark. It is here that he and Levasseur introduce one of the most wildly divisive plot twists in recent memory, and it is defiantly a matter of personal taste whether it enhances or diminishes what has come before. I reside resolutely in the latter camp, though, as evidenced by my repeated viewings, it hasn’t deterred my appreciation for the incredible sense of mood, atmosphere and, yes, tension generated. In hindsight, my deepest regret is not Tension’s twist, but the fact that Aja has never since exhibited the same feverish bravura, seemingly content to helm Hollywood horror remakes. Case in point…

Piranha (2010) (2nd viewing) d. Aja, Alexandre (USA) 88min
To be fair, there’s nothing serious about this in-title redux of Joe Dante’s 1978 Jaws spoof/homage: It’s clear from the outset that AJa is interested only in serving up a blowout beer n’ pretzels bounty of boobs n’ blood – and no one can claim he doesn’t make good on his offer. It’s just that it all feels, well, cheap. Set at an Arizona spring break hot spot, we are thrust into the off-putting company of hundreds of bootylicious co-ed horndogs out for some sun, fun, buns and booze. I don’t know about you, but I can’t relate to these people and while one could argue that’s the point, stupid, we just want to see ‘em get eaten up real good, it diminished the “fun factor” for me. The closest we come to a real character is Elizabeth Shue’s stressed-out sheriff, whose already unpleasant weekend of babysitting the drunken hordes is multiplied – courtesy of an earthquake-derived fissure – by the titular prehistoric fishy menace’s arrival from an underwater lake. There are some undeniably spectacular KNB gore moments, but they are matched by a wealth of underwhelming CGI effects shots – Richard Dreyfuss’ jaw-droppingly awful whirlpool sequence, anyone? Originally shot in 3D, there are “comin’ atcha” moments aplenty, and Kelly Brook & Riley Steele’s underwater nude ballet more than delivers its intended titillation (Brook’s “wild wild girl” is, in addition to being gorgeous, actually one of the few interesting and likeable characters). Ultimately, it’s not terrible, but never as much fun as it wants to be.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 44
Repeats: 46
Total Films: 90

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/21

2011-10-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

IT BE NOT PROUD, IT CANNOT BE DENIED, IT PAYS NO TAXES…

Deaths of Ian Stone, The (2007) (1st viewing) d. Piana, Dario (UK) 87min
The third of After Dark Films’ Horrorfest 2007 that I’ve seen this month, and probably the most successful of the bunch. (Jim Mickle’s Mulberry St. still takes the title as pick of the litter, however.) Confused young stud Mike Vogel continues meeting mortal ends, then awakening in a brand new life as though nothing had happened. As time passes, we learn that he is pursued by dark spirits known as “harvesters” who have a vested interest in Vogel and his relationship with comely blonde Christina Cole. Well paced and shot by Piana, with a legitimately interesting and original script by Brendan Hood (whose previous writing credits include the execrable Wes Craven’s They). Produced by Stan Winston, and created under his SW Studios’ roof.

Death Warmed Up (1984) (1st viewing) d. Blyth, David (New Zealand) 85min
I swear to god, I have no idea what the hell was going on most of the time in this zany Kiwi flick. Released three years before Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste, there’s a similar sense of loony abandon in terms of monster mayhem and gory goofiness, although it definitely lacks the style and polish of his successor. There was something about gene testing a la Dr. Moreau, lots of running around, limbs being chopped off, mutated beasts attacking young nubiles, but I’ll be damned if it made a lick of sense and I kinda wish it had been more fun than it was. Not bad, but lacking direction, vision, a strong narrative…you get the idea.

Death in the Shadows (1985) (1st viewing) d. Pieters, Vivian (Netherlands) 97min
When lovely Dutch lass Maayke Bouten’s mother is run down in the street, evidence begins to arise that neither was the woman her birth mother, nor was the death accidental. (Being run over twice is kind of a tipoff in these cases.) As the newly orphaned orphan looks for answers to her lineage, Bouten seems to be the next target on the killer’s list. Unfortunately, endless scenes of rummaging through old photo albums and documents don’t make for the most stimulating of screen action, especially when backed by a Casio keyboard score. Our heroine seemingly has no compunction about taking her top off, so there’s that, but one wishes that the sporadic attempts against her life were a bit more dynamic and/or successful. Pretty uninspiring overall.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 44
Repeats: 44
Total Films: 88

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/20

2011-10-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

THERE’S SOMETHING OUT THERE… (LOCAL LEGEND HORROR)

Night of the Demon (1980) (2nd viewing) d. Wasson, James C. (USA) 92min
Oh. My. God. This is one amazingly bad, amazingly bloody, amazingly twisted, amazingly brilliant little pic that even on the second go-round, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. From the opening credits where a guy’s arm gets ripped off and a Bigfoot track fills up with blood, James C. Wasson’s trashy, flashback-filled hoot has low-budget charm to burn. Um, dual girl scout massacre? Inter-species rape? Biker stops to take a leak and gets his Johnson pulled off? Yes, yes, and YES!!! Plus, it contains one of the great onscreen sleeping bag kills, awesome red-tinged “Bigfoot vision” and the finale is a jaw-dropping slo-mo masterpiece of high impact, low grade gore f/x mayhem, and how about the crazy van lovin' gal with the scary boob job? Her proooooloooooonged screams of terror are the least convincing in the history of cinema outside of DePalma’s Blow Out. Only there, the cries are supposed to be unconvincing. Wow. For fans of tasty grilled turkey and cheese, this is a must-see.

Rana: Legend of Shadow Lake (1975) (1st viewing) d. Rebane, Bill (USA) 96min
Wisconsin filmmaking wunderkind Bill Rebane’s homage to Creature from the Black Lagoon centers around one of the cheese state’s “warm!” lakes occupied by a prehistoric amphibian throwback, one that has no qualms with jamming errant speargun shafts into the necks of fishermen or making off with the occasional damsel in distress. Glenn Scherer recounts his childhood encounters with the beastie via flashbacks, where young Brad Ellingson and paleontologist Karen McDiarmid try to uncover the mystery beneath the surface. Unfortunately, as is the case with many Rebane efforts, it’s a long slog – with only the natterings of crazy ol’ coot Jerry Gregoris to keep us awake (as well as one awesome slo-mo gunshot/backfall) – until the final reel monster action goodies. The jolly green creature suit designed by Tom Schwartz is entertaining enough; it’s just too bad we have to wait so long to see it. Trivia: Rebane recycled the climax’s musical score for the opening titles of his next (and best) feature, The Giant Spider Invasion, released later the same year.

Monstroid (1980) (1st viewing) d. Hartford, Kenneth (USA) 98min
What do you get when you combine an unscrupulous American concrete company, a poor exploited South American village, polluted water supplies, liberal newspaper reporters, superstitious locals, ancient legends, ecoterrorists, fiestas, suspected witches, moonlight swims, drunken fishermen and one giant rubber monster puppet? Sadly, not as much fun as you’d hope, as director Hartford (billed as Kenneth Herts) commits the mortal sin of any low budget creature feature: being boring. Despite authentic helicopter (complete with saucy Latina pilot Maria Rubio) and location footage, the dozens of subplots and ancillary characters provide a bit more padding than necessary. (With four credited screenwriters, it’s easy to see how things might have gotten a little muddled en route.) However, the totally unconvincing (though not unimpressive) lake beast manages to satisfy in its full endgame glory, jousting with a speedboat and a helicopter until it gets blowed up real good by company man Jim (son of Robert) Mitchum. The opening credits tell us (twice!) that the events herein are based on fact, but it’s the closing credits you’ll want to stick around for, as they are some of the roughest scrolling final credits I’ve ever seen. John Carradine slums it up gloriously as an ex-pat verse-spouting priest, and that’s the director’s son and daughter as the kids who provide photographic proof of the monster.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 41
Repeats: 44
Total Films: 85

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/19

2011-10-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

DOUBLE DARE-WOLF

My Mom’s a Werewolf (1989) (1st viewing) d. Fischa, Michael (USA) 90min
Frustrated wife/mother Susan Blakely gets nibbled on by dashing mystery man John Saxon and soon she’s sprouting fur and fangs in most inappropriate fashion. No way this dumb-dumb 80s comedy should have been this entertaining, but it breezily sails along thanks to the oh-so-very-game performances of Blakely and Saxon (the hand-licking scene alone, folks). John Schuck, Tina Caspary, Ruth Buzzi and Marcia Wallace all lend able support. No classic, perhaps, but surprisingly funny and good-natured, especially for fans of that decade’s particular brand of goofball laffs.

Night of the Howling Beast (1975) (1st viewing) d. Iglesias, Miguel (Spain) 94min
Paul Naschy stars in his fifth installment of the ongoing adventures of tortured lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky, this time leading a Himalayan expedition which runs afoul of inclement weather, roving bands of marauders…and yetis. Naschy is bitten by a couple of nubile, scantily clad, cave-dwelling wolf women and transforms into his venerable wolfman character (shocker, that), which comes in handy when battling bloodthirsty cult members and abominable snowmen. (As the engaging adventure played out, I found myself wondering what might happen were a bigfoot to be bitten by a werewolf, and getting legitimately excited by the prospect. Sadly, the answer is not revealed here.) Enjoyably furry fare, directed by Iglesias under his “M. I. Bonns” moniker.

TALES OF ELDER GODS (AND SOME SLIGHTLY YOUNGER)

Cthulhu (2007) (1st viewing) d. Gildark, Dan (USA) 101min
College professor and estranged son Jason Cottle returns to his small coastal hometown for mother’s funeral, where his father (Dennis Kleinsmith) leads a strange purple robe-wearing religious order that comprises seemingly the entirety of the village’s population. In addition to a well-developed paranoid atmosphere, director/co-writer Gildark deserves major points for introducing a strong, well-drawn gay character, successfully dealing with his protagonist’s sexuality within the story while never making it about his sexuality. Cottle eventually becomes the unwitting key player in a grand May Day scheme, the sinister mood admirably echoing Robin Hardy’s The Wicker Man in its isolation and enclosed community conspiracy. Based in part of Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth, and though not slavishly loyal to its source material, there is great care taken in not showing the monsters, thereby leaving them to the viewer’s imagination – a decision that may frustrate some (as will the ambiguous ending), but which seems entirely in keeping with Lovecraft’s “unspeakable” horrors. Solid ensemble performances (including the unexpected Tori Spelling) sell the watery apocalyptic goods.

Exorcismus (2010) (1st viewing) d. Carballo, Manuel (Spain) 98min
Refreshingly well made, grounded possession feature, with rebellious teen Sophie Vavasseur falling victim to the demonic assault, which also manifests itself as attacks on her family and loved ones. Utilizing an superb all-English cast shot by Carballo’s Spanish crew, there is legitimate drama and tension created here, wisely steering clear of the shadowy grandeur of its 1973 namesake and staking out unique terrain both in atmosphere and theme. Vavasseur’s father Richard Felix (who resembles a younger John Hurt) and her priest uncle/“Father” Stephen Billington (who resembles a younger Jeremy Irons) wage war against supernatural forces, self-doubt and occasionally each other as they seek to free the lass from her unholy occupation. The snap-zoom camerawork gets a little old, but it’s easily forgiven considering the wealth of effective sequences that Carballo and cohorts crank out of this well-traveled material. Hellraiser stalwart Doug Bradley contributes a subdued but welcome cameo as Billington’s former mentor.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 39
Repeats: 43
Total Films: 82

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/18

2011-10-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

GETTIN’ HUNGRY OVER HERE

Killer Tongue (1996) (2nd viewing) d. Sciamma, Alberto (Spain) 98min
Bank robbin’ lovers Jason Durr and Melinda (Return of the Living Dead III) Clarke pull a double cross on their partners, only to have all kinds of unholy and extraterrestrial karma come back and bite them…literally. While Durr sits out his prison sentence, Clarke and her color-coordinated poodles have a close encounter with a bit of space droppings (via a bowl of soup, no less) that transforms the pooches into a quartet of flamboyant drag queens and her tongue into a weapon of mass destruction. Courtesy of Image Animation’s worthy f/x, the titular premise lives up to its promise, with la lengua loca ramming, ripping and rending everything within reach – and considering its elastic properties, that’s covering some ground. Robert Englund devours the scenery as a tight-assed prison captain, while Doug Bradley (credited as “Dough Bradley”) lends able support as Durr’s fellow inmate. Alternatively deliriously madcap and batshit bonkers, this under-the-radar gem deserves some attention, in particular by fans of Clarke (who spends the majority of the film in a skintight black latex bodysuit).

Ravenous (1999) (3rd viewing) d. Bird, Antonia (UK) 101min
“It’s lonely being a cannibal. Tough making friends.” Director Antonia Bird serves up heaping helpings of black comedy and gory carnage in this hilarious, edgy period horror. Set in the waning days of the Mexican-American War, Guy Pearce’s cowardly Army captain is stationed at a remote outpost in the Sierra Nevadas where daily routine is stultifying dull…until Robert Carlyle staggers in from the wilderness with tales of survival that would turn the hardiest soul into a vegetarian. A clever combo of mysticism, vampirism and cannibalism, with Bird’s superb cast – which includes Jeffrey Jones, David Arquette, Jeremy Davies, and Neal McDonough – licking their lips and devouring Ted Griffin’s script with gusto. A decidedly underrated flick, with Slovakia’s Tatras Mountains (standing in for the Pacific Northwest) providing the picturesque exteriors.

NO ONE SAID LOVE WAS EASY

My Bloody Valentine (2009) (2nd viewing) d. Lussier, Patrick (USA) 101min
The one ’80s slasher remake in recent memory to get it right. Director Patrick Lussier’s redux of 1981’s classic pickaxe-wielding boogeyman flick earns its red wings by providing a straight-faced, straight-up whodunit/body-count pic loaded with blood, guts and nudity. True, it does have the requisite TV heartthrob (Supernatural’s Jensen Ackles) in place, but the entire enterprise is handled with panache and skill, delivering more than enough jump scares and heavy gore to satisfy anyone. While the 3D effects – so well executed in theaters, providing plenty of the usual “comin’ atcha!” gimmicks as well as giving the eerie mineshaft scenes a claustrophobic feel – lose some of their impact on the small screen, there’s still enough solid material to carry the day. Finally, big time kudos to clothes-shy starlet Betsy Rue for her brave and bare extended hotel room sequence (yielding both titillation and vulnerability – no mean feat) and genre vet Tom Atkins for their strong support.

Love Me Deadly (1973) (1st viewing) d. Lacerte, Jacques (USA) 95min
Who knew that daddy issues and necrophilia were so intricately connected? Lovely, frigid blonde Mary Wilcox carries a deep, dark secret: She can only derive sexual pleasure from visiting funerals and kissing corpses, much to the dismay of her suitors Christopher Stone and Lyle Waggoner. But when serial killing funeral director Timothy Scott recognizes a fellow stiff-lover, he draws her into his underground coven of like-minded, black-candle burning, black robe-wearing, dark hymn-chanting… Oh, heck, they’re Satanists, all right? Goody two-shoes Wilcox isn’t so sure about all this, but baser desires prevail and there’s some unintentional comedy derived from the fact that every time she attempts to satiate her cold flesh desires, either Stone or Waggoner show up and ruin the party. Phil Moody’s easy-listening, love-ballad heavy soundtrack nearly keeps the lurid atmosphere in check, which somehow makes the whole enterprise that much more bizarre.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 35
Repeats: 43
Total Films: 78

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/17

2011-10-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

MICROBUDGET MADNESS

Live Feed (2006) (1st viewing) d. Nicholson, Ryan (USA) 81min
Nicholson toiled for years as a Hollywood makeup special effects artist before striking out on his own, and so it’s no mistake that the highlights of his films tend to be the wetter moments. And while his DIY spirit is laudable, the sheer unpleasantness of his characters (see Gutterballs for further evidence) makes the rest of the jagged SOV production values that much tougher to sit through. When a quintet of self-centered bar-hopping “Ugly American” tourists in China find themselves as the main feature in a closed circuit snuff film within a house of ill-repute, one would hope that we might root for them to survive…just a little? But when the victims are just as repellent as the torturing sadists, all we can do is sit back and take what pleasure we can from the bloodletting, which is likely Nicholson’s nihilistic intent. Tons of sex, nudity and gore are plusses for any hardcore horror fan, but minus any sense of context or relatability, it all feels empty and vacant. Co-written by Nicholson with brother Roy.

Gorotica (1993) (1st viewing) d. Gallagher, Hugh (USA) 60min
Taboo subject matter (necrophilia) combined with subtle black comedy and zero production value equals a WTF experience for the ages. Jewel thieves Dingo Jones and Bushrude Gutterman (think those are pseudonyms?) have their plans spoiled by a sharpshooting cop who kills Gutterman after he swallows a large diamond for safekeeping. Jones is forced to lug his partner’s corpse around, eventually ending up at dead-lovin’ chick Ghetty Chasun’s above, where she seizes the opportunity to make sweet, sweet music with the stiff. Zany and clumsy, but possessing a charming attitude of naughty rebellion, right down to the final credit: “These characters and situations are fictitious and any similarity with real persons living or dead makes me nervous.” The hour-long runtime is an added bonus.

THE DARK TWINS – WARHOL STYLE

Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) (2nd viewing) d. Morrissey, Paul (Italy) 95min
Blood for Dracula (1974) (3rd viewing) d. Morrissey, Paul (Italy) 106min

“Presented” by Andy Warhol and written/directed by Paul Morrissey, these Eurohorror spins on the titans of screen terror are unlike any Dracula or Frankenstein film you’ve seen. While the latter is inarguably the more polished of the two, both offer plenty of campy pleasure and endlessly quotable dialogue, with lovely musical scores by Claudio Gizzi and Carlo Rambaldi’s juicy blood f/x splashing about.

Originally presented in 3D (with body parts and entrails being thrust at the camera), Flesh features plenty of its namesake, both male and female, for your viewing pleasure, with Udo Kier starring as the mad baron bent on animating dead tissue and mating his male and female creations. Meanwhile, his randy sister/wife Monique van Vooren (sans eyebrows) looks to couple up with hunky servant Joe Dallesandro speaking in his full-on New Yawk accent. Filled with immortal lines like “To know death, Otto, you have to f**k life in the gall bladder,” and van Vooren’s makeout session with Dallesandro’s armpit has to be seen/heard to be believed.

Meanwhile, Morrissey’s Dracula pic finds the count wasting away in Transylvania due to the lack of virgins (pronounced “were-gins”) available for blood sampling and so, with his trusty – and more than a little bossy – servant Arno Juerging leading the way, they head for Italy hoping to find ladies of higher moral fiber. Unfortunately for Drac, agitprop-spouting handyman has made a point of deflowering everything on two legs with a double-X chromosome. From its striking opening (undead Kier applying makeup to his pallid cheeks and black dye to his hair before his non-reflection in a dressing table mirror) to the Monty Python-eque limb-lopping finale, it’s a winner all the way. Classic quote as Udo imbibes some impure plasma: “The blood of these whores is killing me!” Goofy as hell, but there’s enough atmosphere, quirky performances, enthusiastic bloodletting and nudity from both sexes to keep you glued to your seat. Roman Polanski shows up in a cameo in the bar scene.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 34
Repeats: 40
Total Films: 74

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/15-16

2011-10-18T07:54:00.000-07:00

SING ALONG WITH ME, EVERYONE: A-ONE-AND-A-TWO…

Nightmare on Elm Street, A (1984) (5th viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 91min
Horror Hall-of Famer Wes Craven created this hugely successful fright flick, which spawned multiple sequels, launched New Line Cinema, and introduced the moniker of “Freddy Krueger” into pop culture consciousness. Attractive (if acting-talent-challenged) Heather Langenkamp plays a teenager plagued by dreams of a horribly scarred figure wearing a distinctive red-striped sweater, battered fedora, and a glove with knives attached to the fingers. Robert Englund, in the role he would forever be identified with, creates an original and frightening villain in Freddy, an executed child-murdering psychopath who has found the means to keep up his gruesome work by entering his prospective victim’s dreams. Not yet the wisecrack-spouting centerpiece of future installments, Englund’s minimal appearances pack a darkly effective punch. As Langenkamp and company (including Johnny Depp, in his feature film debut) struggle to stay awake, Krueger’s sinister history is gradually revealed, along with the small town’s dark and horrifying secret. There is certainly much to applaud in the film’s fiercely innovative concept, nightmare imagery, and gory special effects; but the line between Craven’s real world and dream counterpart becomes so blurred in the end, there is no logic remaining except dream logic. Consequently, it often feels like the viewer is being cheated of a legitimate story for the sake of some “really cool kills,” (many of which are admittedly memorable, particularly one in which a character is swallowed and regurgitated by their own bed). This aspect, along with stiff performances and a really weak ending, lands Nightmare on a slightly lower rung than other modern horror classics.

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, A (1985) (3rd viewing) d. Sholder, Jack (USA) 87min
Picking up five years later, this slapdash sequel violates what few rules the original had to offer, storming into bloody senselessness and not letting up until the end credits roll. Sensitive teenager Mark Patton’s family moves into the Elm Street house, and begins to experience unsettling nightmares featuring that knife-fingered wonder boy, Freddy Krueger (again portrayed by Robert Englund, who also cameos sans makeup as a school bus driver.) Before long, Englund is possessing Patton’s body, forcing the boy to commit grisly murders with the slice-n’-dice glove while sleepwalking. Wes Craven’s “don’t go to sleep” mythology is thrown out the window here, as Freddy can inhabit the hapless adolescent sleeping or waking, even going so far as to gruesomely emerge from Patton’s body like a snake shedding its skin. Frequent visual references to heat and flames are scattered throughout, ostensibly to accord special effects opportunities, including one of the more absurd sequences (and there are many) where a killer canary explodes in an inexplicable fireball. While acting has never been the series’ strong point, Clu Galager as Patton’s papa seems to be in a completely different movie, alternating between unpleasant and unpleasantly goofy. The numerous homoerotic references present throughout the film will raise as many eyebrows as any of the gory slayings. Jack Sholder takes over the directing reins from Craven, managing to create a few interesting visual stunts amidst the lunacy. Truth be told, though, one could easily skip right to Part 3 and not miss much.

Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, A (1987) (6th viewing) d. Russell, Chuck (USA) 96min
Picking up as though Part 2 were a bad dream itself, everyone’s favorite slashing sandman, Freddy Krueger (played with increasingly psychotic zeal by Robert Englund), is back in this, the third and strongest of the popular series. Writer/director Chuck Russell, and his writing team (including Wes Craven and Shawshank Redemption’s Frank Darabont) finally get all the right elements, combining a strong story, interesting characters and whiz-bang-boom dream effects. Heather Langenkamp reprises her character from the original, now a dream specialist assisting psychiatrist Craig Wasson with troubled adolescent patients. Seems Wasson’s subjects (“the last of the Elm Street children”) are suffering from nightmares of The Gloved One, and subsequently dying in their sleep. Patricia Arquette is terrific as a scream teen with the gift of pulling other people into her dreams, and through her, the survivors unite to battle Freddy in a slumberland slugfest. Russell strikes just the right balance of gory fright and fun, introducing the concept of “dream powers” and adding a dash of sly humor (as opposed to the trowel-like gaggery of later installments) to the mix. There’s a real sense of rooting for the sleep-addled misfits, and a genuine sense of loss as the merry band fall victim one by one to Freddy’s razor-sharp claws and fatally pithy zingers. The acting is more than capable across the ranks, and the plot introduces some intriguing Krueger family history. A thoroughly entertaining venture, with the added pleasure of tough guy John Saxon (returning as Langenkamp’s father) trying to look intimidated by the wimpy, puffy-haired Wasson.

Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, A (1988) (3rd viewing) d. Harlin, Renny (USA) 99min
After the impressive and cohesive Dream Warriors, this is a serious drop-off in all departments, with much of the responsibility lying with hit-and-miss director Renny Harlin. Admittedly, the script by future Oscar-winner Brian Helgeland (L.A. Confidential) and “Scott Pierce” (an amalgalm of five other writers) doesn’t do anyone any favors, least of all the audience. When Freddy Krueger is revived (courtesy of flaming dog urine, no less), he sets out to polish off the survivors from Part 3 – and the rest of the film’s attractive teenage cast, just for the heck of it. Robert Englund can thank his agents for getting him billing above the title, but he is given little to do here except cackle and wisecrack while messily dispatching his victims (backed by a pop music soundtrack). Tuesday Knight appears as Patricia Arquette’s character from DW, despite bearing no resemblance to her predecessor either looks or talent-wise (she also sings the awful “Nightmare” song over the opening credits). With logistics and mythologies from previous installments mangled and muddled beyond recognition, the horrific deaths, the most gruesome thus far, are the only gooey glue holding the movie together. No longer content with simply slashing, Freddy now utilizes outlandish dream methods to execute his hapless prey, with the “roach motel” sequence taking top gross-out honors. But it all feels as fake and rubbery as Englund’s makeup, with heroine Lisa Wilcox inexplicably acquiring attributes from her fallen classmates in order to “suit up” for the inevitable showdown. Yawn, yawn, yawn, time to put this tired series to bed.

Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, A (1989) (2nd viewing) d. Hopkins, Stephen (USA) 89min
While Dream Master badly stumbled, this one just falls on the ground and flails wildly. For about five minutes it seems like there might be hope, as the film opens with an intriguing shower dream sequence that gives way to a flashback of the moment of conception of Freddy, “the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.” And then, the dream ends, returning heroine Lisa Wilcox awakens, and the sheer awfulness that is the remainder of the movie begins. Plot? The vanquished Freddy attempts to be reborn in the budding subconscious of Wilcox’s unborn child. Does it work? No. Oh, heavens, heavens, no, it does not. But since all director Stephen Hopkins and screenwriter Leslie Bohem are concerned with is how to best utilize their dumpy special effects (which have been shopped out to a half dozen different effects houses), it hardly seems to matter. Robert Englund is barely in the movie, and when he is, it only makes things worse. Not through any fault of the actor, but because the worm has turned and Freddy is in full-on stand-up killer comedian mode now, delivering not one, but eighteen “zingers” for each kill and they’re all awful. As Wilcox’s insufferable circle of friends decreases (though honestly, Freddy seems to be doing her a favor, all things considered), further history regarding the unfortunate Amanda Krueger comes to light and oh, who cares? Unless you’re an incurably masochistic completist, this is not for you. You have been warned.

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) (2nd viewing) d. Talalay, Rachel (USA) 89min
Skip the agonizing first hour of this monstrosity, and here’s what you’ll miss: pointless cameos from Tom and Roseanne Arnold, a yacker of a soundtrack comprised of songs with “dream” lyrics, a stoner kid being attacked by a huge road map, an absolutely hateful videogame dream sequence, a killer Q-tip, and red herrings galore. Whew. While the final third of the movie does not redeem it by any stretch of the imagination, it does provide some morbidly fascinating insight into the evolution of the man who would be Freddy. Watching the troubled Krueger child deal with abusive classmates and his sadistic father (Alice Cooper), one almost sympathizes with the future child-killer. (Though the ultimate motivation given for Krueger’s crimes doesn’t hold up under examination, it is interesting for a moment or two.) Yaphet Kotto lends welcome strength to his few scenes as a feisty teen counselor, though one wonders to whom the fine actor owed a favor. Best of all though, Robert Englund thankfully shifts out of merry jokester mode in the final reel to recover a bit of his original dark nastiness. Rookie director Rachel Talalay gives the deplorable special effects sequences center stage over the characters; but considering that Michael De Luca’s execrably unfunny, unscary script offers nothing to work with, who can blame her? (As an added bonus, there is a headache-inducing 3-D sequence – in “FreddyVision” – in the final reel.) When the best part of the film is a “Freddy’s greatest hits” montage while the closing credits roll, you know it’s time to hang up the glove.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) (3rd viewing) d. Craven, Wes (USA) 112min
Wes Craven returns to the Elm Street director’s chair, creating an intelligent, worthy sequel that manages to stimulate more brain cells than gag reflexes. Ten years after the release of the original, actress Heather Langenkamp, star of ANOES 1 and 3 (played by Heather Langenkamp), is approached by New Line producer Robert Shaye (played by Robert Shaye) to recreate her role of “Nancy” in a new sequel written and directed by Wes Craven (played by—guess who,—Wes Craven). Problem is, Langenkamp and her son (Miko Hughes) are being plagued by nightmares of Ol’ Filet Fingers himself, nightmares that are beginning to exhibit increasingly corporeal symptoms. It seems that Freddy Krueger is really an existential form of evil held captive by the films, and now that the series is over, the cinematic boogeyman is attempting to cross over into the “real” world through Hughes. Craven’s clever, self-referential screenplay blurs not only the lines between dreams and reality, but also between the movie world and the real world, with alumni John Saxon and Robert Englund playing both themselves and their onscreen alter egos. For the first time in many a Nightmare moon, the focus is given to characters and suspense rather than effects and ghastly one-liners, and while there are a few stellar scenes of bloodletting, they do not overshadow the dramatic tension of the story. Sadly, the innovative film failed to capture an audience at the theatres, too chatty for the gorehounds and “just another Freddy flick” to the general public, but has gained increasing respect over time.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003) (2nd viewing) d. Yu, Ronny (USA) 97min
Since the closing shot of 1993’s Jason Goes to Hell, fans had been clamoring for this “Slash of the Titans.” A decade later, New Line Cinema answered their nightmares with a flick that is exactly the low-brow monster-mash masterpiece that the two screen legends deserve. Screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift concoct a storyline that builds upon history from the previous films (17 in all) and manages to generate a few new twists of its own. Freddy (Robert Englund, basking in his scar-tissue glory) is trapped in Hell after the parents of Springwood finally cover up all trace of his existence, thereby eliminating their children’s fear (which the dream killer needs to exist). In a stroke of demonic inspiration, he revives that misunderstood orphan of Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees (Ken Kerzinger), to unleash a reign of terror substantial enough to allow Krueger to pick up where he left off. For a while, the satanic symbiosis works wonders, with expendable Elm Street teens being split, splashed, and splattered right and left, sleeping or waking. Trouble starts when Jason proves a little too efficient, robbing Freddy of his prey, and the stage is set for the climactic battle royale that combines high-flying wire work, CGI, and good old-fashioned Japanese monster-style mayhem. True, it’s a certain brand of fun, one with a core of casual misogyny and plentiful gore-laced violence. But since these elements have been integral to both series from the beginning, there’s little point in taking the moral high ground now. Hardcore F13 fans may be disappointed with director Ronny Yu’s decision not to cast veteran Kane Hodder as Jason, but Kerzinger swings a machete ably enough, and his towering, hulking presence is a nice counterpoint to Englund’s wiry chatterbox.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 32
Repeats: 38
Total Films: 70

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/14

2011-10-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

BEAUTY IS OVERRATED

Nature of the Beast (1995) (1st viewing) d. Salva, Victor (USA) 91min
Salva, who would later direct the Jeepers Creepers pictures, makes an impressive showing with this genuinely thrilling thriller that pits the wits of traveling salesman Lance Henriksen against Eric Roberts’ cool calculating psychopath. Conjuring shades of The Hitcher (and anyone who’s seen the opening 30 minutes of the first JC flick knows that the writer/director knows his way around a suspenseful automotive sequence), this two-hander continues to crank the tension right up until its sterling climax. The final (and grin-inducing) twist is but the topping on the cake.

Beast in the Cellar, The (1970) (1st viewing) d. Kelley, James (UK) 101min
Spinster sisters Flora Robson and Beryl Reid conceal a dark familial secret as patrolling military soldiers meet their demise one by one at the claws of a ferocious murdering creature. Is it man, monster or some combo of the two? Regrettably, this effort from British studio Tigon and exec producer Tony Tenser never really manages to effectively mine its subject matter’s lurid potential. The attack sequences are well staged with cameras whip-panning across the victims with ever-increasing blood and flesh exposed, but the prolonged third-act exposition is clumsily handled – the expression of weariness on the police superintendant forced to listen to Reid’s tale is shared by the viewer. Pretty blonde nurse Teresa Wyatt provides a welcome diversion, but it’s not enough to carry the day.

DO I GOTTA DRAW YOU A PICTURE?

Family Portraits: A Trilogy of America (2003) (4th viewing) d. Buck, Douglas (USA) 103min
Many thanks to Rue Morgue magazine for including the short film, “Cutting Moments,” on its list of “101 Alternative Horrors,” as this is what spurred me to seek it out Buck’s compiled trilogy. Truly devastating, with enough gore for the hounds, but within a setting of such unease that it settles in the pit of the viewer’s stomach and stays there for the rest of the movie, day and life. Perhaps it was a misstep to have the most disturbing of the trio as the first feature, as it sets the bar so high that the following films cannot help but fall a little short. That said, “Home” and “Prologue” are hardly also-rans, both carrying a wily emotional depth that Hollywood films haven’t come close to in years. This is not easy shock horror, this is well-crafted dread that settles into one’s bones. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. (For an extended review, visit: http://www.kitleyskrypt.com/reviews_df.htm#FAMILYPORTRAITS)

Oval Portrait, The (aka One Minute Before Death) (1972) (1st viewing) d. Gonzales, Rogelio A. (Mexico) 87min
Based on Edgar Allan Poe’s story, this Civil War period film centers upon a young woman Lisa facing a struggle for her sanity. A portrait created by insane painter Joseph contains the soul of its female subject, the artist’s wife Rebecca. The young woman finds herself fighting off the portrait’s spirit that wishes to escape from the painting by replacing the young woman’s soul in her body…and trapping her spirit in the portrait. Made-for-TV cinematography and score seems well in keeping with the soapy melodramatic narrative. Drab, dull and hardly worth your time.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 32
Repeats: 30
Total Films: 62

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/13

2011-10-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

JUST CAN’T QUIT THAT TIFFANY GAL

Corpses (2004) (1st viewing) d. Kanefsky, Rolfe (USA) 90min
Star Tiffany Shepis and writer/director Kanefsky teamed up again after banging out The Hazing earlier the same year for this quickie undead comedy. Zombies recruited by ill-tempered funeral home owner Robert Donavan to rob jewelry store. Headliner Jeff Fahey stars as a police captain dealing with the complications of rebellious daughter Shepis and Donavan’s hot-pants ex-wife (Melinda Bonini). Kanefsky’s tried-and-true formula of blood and boobs is in full flower here, and really, if you’re not up for that and some mindless yuks and yucks, keep on moving down the line.

Cyrus: The Mind of a Serial Killer (2010) (1st viewing) d. Vadik, Mark (USA) 87min
Shepis plays the no-goodnik mom of the titular psycho here in a pre-credits cameo and couple brief flasbacks, but it’s not really her show. Instead former Charmed regular Brian Krause plays our “Highway Hunter” as a damaged POW with intimacy issues. Writer/director Vadik’s occasionally uneven script has Henriksen (doing his usual solid gruff work) unfolding the story to Danielle Harris’ reality TV scandal-monger. Perhaps not the most plausible of devices, but within the flashbacks there are numerous disturbing, gory and graphic scenarios and imagery, courtesy of effects supervisor Cat Bernier. (There’s also a plethora of female nudity – but it’s hardly shown in titillating fashion.) Cameo-heavy with second-tier celebrities (Ray Dawn Chong, anyone?) amidst the rest of the fresh-faced supporting cast. Doug Jones pulls off his “expert authority” character with intelligence and grace.

THEY’RE NOT POSSESSED, THEY’RE POSSESSIVES…

Devil's Nightmare, The (1971) (2nd viewing) d. Brismee, Jean (Belgium) 95min
I’ll admit it, all I remembered from my initial viewing years ago was the extended lesbian lovemaking sequence. But thanks to a glowing essay in Chris Alexander’s Blood Spattered Book, I felt compelled to revisit the premises of a strange German castle owned by somber baron Jean Servais. Each of the guests (a wayward group of lost tourists) represents one of the seven deadly sins, with justice meted out over the course of one dark stormy night for their “crimes.” Gorgeous headliner Erika Blanc is the mystery guest, strutting around in seductive, belly-and-cleavage exposing outfits. Dripping with atmosphere and sensuality, and hey, any film that kicks off with a Nazi general burying a blade into his newborn daughter earns serious points, no? Dreamlike score by Alessandro Alessandroni.

Satan’s Slave (1976) (2nd viewing) d. Warren, Norman J. (UK) 86min
Even more overlooked by American genre audiences than Pete Walker is his brother-in-arms, Norman J. Warren – one of the few British directors who kept the horror flame alight during the post-Hammer 70s. Known primarily for his 1981 Alien rip-off, Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet), Warren managed to bring plenty of gore and T&A to an audience bloodthirsty for more. The first of his horror efforts, Satan’s Slave, teamed him with a script by Walker-regular David McGillivray and featured Candace Glendenning (Tower of Evil) as an innocent lass who witnesses the death of both her parents in a car accident en route to visit her mysterious uncle (Michael Gough). As he takes her in to recover from the shock, it becomes increasingly apparent that Gough has plans for her that involve altars, sharp knives and reincarnations of long-dead spirits. Ah, family reunions are so much fun. While not a classic, Slave offers some effective jolts from the well-worn human sacrifice plotline and there’s plenty of flesh shown and blood spilled.

Witches' Hammer (1970) (1st viewing) d. Vavra, Oktakar (Czechoslovakia) 103min
The magic of witch trial movies is that no matter how many of them you’ve seen, they still manage to infuriate and devastate provided the acting is competent and the injustices given appropriate weight. Alongside such classics as Witchfinder General, The Devils and Mark of the Devil, we can now file this grim Czech exercise in cowardice and corruption. The requisite notes are played – superstitions are observed by church officials, casual talk of witchcraft leads to a magistrate being brought to town to judge the wicked from the righteous, names are named (under torture, of course), accusations are thrown, a showdown is foretold between the one true good man in town and the ever-growing power of the tribunal…and it doesn’t end well. Dark and unforgiving, leaving the viewer’s faith in their fellow man shattered. Happy happy joy joy.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 29
Repeats: 29
Total Films: 58

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/12

2011-10-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

WHO YOU CALLING CRAZY?

Lunacy (2005) (1st viewing) d. Svankmajer, Jan (Czechoslovakia) 118min
Animated sequences featuring renegade disembodied beef tongues, entrails, and other fleshy bits running amok trade turns with live action scenes of Marquis de Sade (an unhinged Jan Triska) tormenting grieving mourner/asylum incident Pavel Liska. The haunting and repetitious calliope refrain keeps the mood light in the face of such transgressions, the final result feels inspired if a little disconnected. But then again, considering the subject matter, who’s going to complain?

Deranged (1974) (2nd viewing) d. Gillen, Jeff/Ormsby, Alan (Canada) d. 82min. “Ezra Cobb – murderer, graverobber, necrophiliac, perhaps, or as you may remember him from those stories of long ago, the Butcher of Woodside.” This docudrama of Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein, as presented by our narrator/newspaper reporter “Tom Sims” (Leslie Carlson) in sport jacket and horn rimmed glasses, features shades of Psycho with our protagonist talking in his deceased mother’s voice, and berated for any sexual inclinations. The late, great Roberts Blossom gives us an Ezra that is creepy and cute, sympathetic and sinister, harmless and homicidal, and his parade of female victims is equally memorable: Lusty, chunky faux mystic Marion Waldman, brassy barmaid Micki Moore, and all-American hardware store attendant Pat Orr (whose nude death scene – with snow still on the ground – deserves some sort of special recognition). Deliberately paced, but the realistic matter-of-fact tone lends to the chill. Tom Savini assisted Alan Ormsby with makeup chores (his first official credit). Carl Zitterer, who provided the memorable score for Bob Clark’s Black Christmas the same year, yields a spare but effective soundtrack here.

THERE’S A SMELL OF CHEESE IN THE AIR…

Gargoyles (1972) (1st viewing) d. Norton, Bill L. (USA) 74min
Demonologist/anthropologist Cornel Wilde and photographer Jennifer Salt discover the mysterious skull of a winged creature in the desert, only to find that there are more than a few live specimens still wandering about. Stan Winston and Ellis Burman designed the gargoyle suits and masks which are a step or two up from Star Trek monster shop, especially impressive considering their TV-movie budget, but there’s no denying the cheese factor on display. (Shooting the monster scenes in slo-mo is a pretty ineffectual, threadbare cinematic device.) Bernie Casey, covered head to toe as the main creature, suffers the further indignity of having his voice dubbed into a high-pitched, modulated tone beyond all recognition. Scott Glenn appears in an early role as rebellious motocross rider, while the 60-year-old Cornel doffs his shirt…and looks damn good doing it.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) (1st viewing) d. Nguyen, James (USA) 90min
The meta-magic of Nguyen’s Hitchcock homage is that it keeps the audience guessing, “Was it supposed to be this bad?” Personally, I fall into the camp of believing it to be a genuinely earnest failure, while others suspect it to be an elaborately staged hoax. Either way, fans of ineptitude will thrill to the bungled sound mix, clunky line readings, shaky camerawork, environmental preaching and, of course, those amazing, straight-out-of-a-videogame animated winged beasties. Exhausting but you’ve never seen anything like it before.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 26
Repeats: 27
Total Films: 53

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/11

2011-10-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

HEERE MAY YE BEHOLD, DARK HORRORS “UN”-TOLD

Undertaker and His Pal, The (1966) (1st viewing) d. Swicegood, T.L.P. (USA) 63min
Taking a page from H.G. Lewis’ Blood Feast, writer/director Swicegood dishes up a juicy black-and-blood-red comedy featuring a trio of mysterious motorcycle thugs who choose their random murder victims from the phone book. After the deaths, friendly undertaker Ray Dannis extorts the grieving mourners with exorbitant burial fees whilst two café owners serve up daily specials, such as “leg of Lamb” after dear Sally Lamb meets her untimely end or “breast of chicken” following Ms. Poultry’s demise. Lots of pretty girls meeting their demise at the hands and knives of the three hard working stiffs, although even for a comedy, things get a little grotesque at times (such as the gore-strewn lovely whipped to death with a chain to the face). Even so, there’s little doubt about the harmless intent of Swicegood and his pals and a valuable lesson is learned via this cozy 63-minute fable: There’s no honor among thieves – or psychopaths.

Uninvited, The (1944) (3rd viewing) d. Allen, Lewis (USA) 99min
While acknowledged as one of the first films to deal with ghosts and hauntings in a serious manner, those expecting to be truly frightened may be disappointed by this tale of a spirit haunting the coastal English residence newly inhabited by siblings Ray Milland and Ruth Hussey. While the picture certainly has some fine moments of suspense and supernatural goings-on, viewers would do well to place it within its historical context to fully appreciate its reputation. In addition, Victor Young’s whimsical score and Milland’s light-comic approach often undo any sense of real dread or horror. That said, the acting is commendable, the characterizations are interesting and believable, and the mimosa-scented atmosphere turns appropriately darker as the story deepens. Several haunted house precedents are set here: Ghostly moanings, a terrific séance scene, and a family history that must be unraveled by the living in order to let the dead rest at peace. Perhaps not a nail-biter for the Poltergeist generation, but a well-told tale that does the job with good old-fashioned storytelling and character work.

Unearthed (2007) (1st viewing) d. Leutwyler, Matthew (USA) 93min
After establishing a laudable sense of place and community – in this case a dusty distant satellite of Salt Lake City, Utah populated by Native Americans and cattle ranchers – writer/director Leutwyler introduces a few “outsider” characters (including a surprisingly effective Charlie Murphy) by blocking off the only road in/out of town. The device allows for easy exposition, and an intriguing mix of personalities, with focus given to deep-in-the-bottle sheriff Emmanuelle Vaugier. When cattle and townsfolk start turning up mutilated, all must band together to survive a revived prehistoric menace. Thanks to Leutwyler’s intelligent script, superbly executed action scenes (bartender’s demise) and a capable cast looking refreshingly like everyday people, the film is firing on all cylinders...until the jaw-droppingly craptastic, poorly rendered CGI menace comes onscreen and spoils the whole show. Latex master Steve Johnson’s company, Edge FX, is credited with the “monster special effects,” so I’m assuming the blame for the grand-scale CG fail lies at his/their feet. (TyRuben Ellingson and Greg Smith, who provided the worthy creature design, can’t have been happy with the final results either.) As the laughable cartoon prominently hops to and fro, what could have been an excellent, small-town monster movie (a la Tremors) is ultimately undone, which is a damn shame.

Undead (2003) (2nd viewing) d. Spierig, Michael/Spierig, Peter (Australia) 97min
High spirited, intelligent and inspired take on the zombie flick, with the down under Spierig Bros. stretching their $1 million budget to its fullest extent. Great performances from everyone, splatter for the gorehounds, and a lot of funny quirky moments add up to one big win for horror fans.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 23
Repeats: 26
Total Films: 49

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/10

2011-10-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

IF I WERE A CARPENTER (AND YOUR NAME WAS JAMIE…)

Halloween (1978) (11th viewing) d. Carpenter, John (USA) 91min
From its shocking opening reveal to jaw-dropping climax, this low-budget masterpiece instantly announced itself as a modern day horror classic, shattering box-office records and inspiring the modern-day slasher genre. Nearly twenty years after Psycho terrified viewers out of their showers, director John Carpenter and producer Debra Hill co-wrote the brilliantly minimalist script of an escaped lunatic terrorizing the small Illinois township of Haddonfield. Trick-or-treating would never be the same. Donald Pleasance shines as frantic psychiatrist Sam Loomis, the only one who comprehends the extent of the evil that has been unleashed. Jamie Lee Curtis (in her film debut) provides the film’s emotional center as a bookish babysitter who, alongside fun-loving friends Nancy Loomis and P. J. Soles, unwittingly becomes the target of the masked boogeyman. Like Spielberg’s giant shark, Halloween’s unstoppable antagonist reaches near-mythic status, pursuing his prey with placid yet ferocious determination. Carpenter’s repetitive synthesizer and piano score heightens the tension, then shatters it with chilling efficiency time and again. In addition to inspiring a throng of “holiday-themed” horror offerings, the indie blockbuster spawned its own inevitable sequels (seven, plus Rob Zombie’s regrettable remakes), which contain nary a fraction of the original’s enduringly effective impact between them.

Ward, The (2010) (1st viewing) d. Carpenter, John (USA) 88min
After setting a farmhouse ablaze, mysterious and defiant fair-haired stranger Amber Heard is institutionalized at the local loony bin where she quickly finds herself under assault by a wicked (and decomposing) female specter. Carpenter returns to the feature film fray after a long sojourn and it is with mixed emotions that we receive him - this pedestrian ghost story with predictable scares never reaches He Who Once Was King’s former glory, but it’s a heck of a lot better than anything he’s done in the past decade. Though set in the early 60s, there is never any real sense of period, and not to get into spoilers, but the mortality of a certain spirit strikes us as a bit convenient, even with the last minute explanatory wrap-up. (And that final jump scare? Really, John?) On another note, Heard’s naked back deserves a supporting credit all its own, showcased taking clothes off, putting hospital gowns on, taking showers, etc. Is this what passes for titillation these days? Like the rest of the film, it ultimately feels like a big tease with no satisfying payoff.

ROAD TRIP TRAVELS AND TRAVAILS

Tourist Trap (1979) (2nd viewing) d. Schmoeller, David (USA) 90min
One of Charles Band’s early producing credits (and first straight-up horror film). Rookie director/co-writer Schmoeller delivered this underrated (and PG-rated!) chiller that deftly combines creepy open-mouthed mannequins, telekinetic exploits, slasher motifs and twisted torture sequences, all set in a way-off-the-beaten-track roadside wax museum. Chuck Connors headlines as the good ol’ boy proprietor, playing host to a band of stranded vacationers that include Jocelyn Jones and a brunette, pre-Beastmaster Tanya Roberts. The behind-the-scenes roster boasts some serious genre cred, with art direction by Texas Chain Saw Massacre/The Hills Have Eyes wunderkind Robert A. Burns, future Tremors writer/director Ron Underwood performing assistant director duties, and Ted Nicoleau, who would create the Subspecies franchise (and the much loved TerrorVision), serving as editor. Note: There needs to be a “Little girl” and “Isn’t she pr-e-e-e-e-etty?” drinking game.

Wrong Turn (2003) (3rd viewing) d. Schmidt, Rob (USA) 84min
A competent time-waster covering familiar terrain as a group of attractive twentysomethings find themselves picked off by a trio of mutant mountain men. What is refreshing about this throwback to the 70s and 80s is its straightforward approach to the material, handling the events with a degree of seriousness rather than the smart-ass irony representative of the post-Scream era. Desmond Harrington provides welcome gravity in the male hero role, matched by Eliza Dushku who kicks butt and fills out her white tank top with equal gusto. Of the remainder of the antagonized crew, only Jeremy Sisto’s engaging fiancé leaves any lasting impression. Effects king Stan Winston produced, with his SW Studio cronies creating the gruesome inbred psychos. Director Schmidt paces things so well, with enough intriguing original touches – a wow of a decapitation and cringe-inducing use of barbed wire – that the audience may not realize that they’ve seen it all before (including the preposterous “it’s over…or is it?” ending).

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 21
Repeats: 24
Total Films: 45

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/9

2011-10-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

DEEP, DARK AND DANGEROUS…

Hole, The (2001) (1st viewing) d. Hamm, Nick (UK) 102min
Set in an exclusive UK boarding school, where Thora Birch pines for the attentions of an American exchange student (Wrong Turn’s Desmond Harrington). Four classmates (including a young Keira Knightley) go for an outing in a small bunker where they are abandoned and locked in by a classmate. What follows is a series of Rashomon-like versions of what transpires over the next week as hunger, dehydration and desperation set in. Reasonably suspenseful and well-acted, despite a twist ending that becomes fairly evident early on.

Pit, The (1981) (1st viewing) d. Lehman, Lew (Canada) 97min
Young blonde bowl-haircut misfit Sammy Snyders has troubles mixing with his peers and sports a serious yen for the opposite sex, especially his sensitive babysitter Jeannie Elias. The titular hole in the ground, located in the woods out back, plays host to a group of hairy orange-eyed troglodytes (“trollalogs”). This is the kind of twisted character piece and subject matter that could only have been made in the 70s (despite its early 80s time-stamp). Wildly stilted performances require a degree of getting used to, as do the after-school special production values and soundtrack, but for fans of low-budget fare, there are awesome rewards aplenty to be found below the surface. Favorite line: “Do you know why my mother washes me so much?”

Bloody Pit of Horror (1965) (1st viewing) d. Pupillo, Massimo (Italy) 74min
Released the same year as the Barbara Steele Gothic feature Terror Creatures from the Grave, but filmed in “PsychoVision,” which equates to bright, garish colors…especially of the reddish hue. Photographer, crew and lovely female models are out shooting cover art for a series of horror novels, when they come upon a castle owned by Mr. Jayne Mansfield himself, muscleman Mickey Hargitay. Unfortunately, said castle is the former residence of a notorious 17th century inquisitor, The Crimson Executioner, and Hargitay has convinced himself that he is the reincarnation of the red hooded one. With tons of torture devices in the basement up for grabs, soon there are lovely lasses stretched, slashed and strewn about. With a great score and plenty of cheesy blood n’ babes action, there’s plenty of fun to be had here.

HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) (2nd viewing) d. Gans, Christophe (France) 152min
Unbelievably stylish with superb production values, Gans serves up an incredible visual feast with his epic about an 18th century French province, Gevaudan, being terrorized by an enormous bloodthirsty beast. Equal parts adventure tale, costume drama, social message, action flick (sporting some wicked Matrix-like martial arts sequences) and monster movie, there is something here for everyone, handsomely mounted and exquisitely acted by a cast that includes the likes of Samuel Le Bihan, Vincent Cassell, Monica Bellucci, Emilie Dequenne, Phillipe Nahon, Mark Decascos and a cameo from Francois Hadji-Lazaro, famous to Italian horror fans as “Gnaghi” from Dellamorte Dellamore (aka Cemetery Man). The carnivorous CGI creature isn’t quite as impressive these days, but it still does the trick and earns major points for its original design.

Brotherhood of Satan, The (1971) (2nd viewing) d. McEevety, Bernard (USA) 92min
Trippy, heady, semi-successful devil-worshiping effort featuring Strother Martin as the head of a geriatric cult bent on reincarnating themselves into the bodies of their small town’s youngsters. There are a number of effective sequences, but overall things feel awfully padded out and the WTF conventions of having miniature toys possessing the killing power of their full-size counterparts (case in point, a plastic army tank proceeds to crush a full sized sedan) left a furrow in my skull from all the head-scratching.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 20
Repeats: 21
Total Films: 41

October Horror Movie Challenge 10/8

2011-10-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

LARRY COHEN: IT’S ALIVE, IT’S ALIVE, IT’S ALIVE…WHAT IS IT?

It’s Alive (1974) (3rd viewing) Cohen, Larry (USA) 91min

It Lives Again (1978) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 91min

It’s Alive 3: Island of the Alive (1987) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 95min

Q (1982) (2nd viewing) d. Cohen, Larry (USA) 93min

“There’s only one thing wrong with the Davis baby…”

Writer/producer/director Cohen graduated from Fred Williamson blaxploitation flicks with this surprise box office smash about mutant babies running amok. John P. Ryan and Sharon Farrell play the distraught couple in the original flick, with Ryan returning to warn expectant parents Frederic Forrest and Kathleen Lloyd in the less effective sequel. A young Rick Baker provided the monster tykes – a riff on 2001: A Space Odyssey’s “Star Child” – for the first two installments (the original being one of the future Oscar winner’s first big creature features).

Along with stop-motion monsters, a strong stripe of twisted (and sometimes ill-advised) humor is introduced into the belated third chapter, as the action is moved from the suburbs to a secluded island where the monster nippers are quarantined. Michael Moriarty and Karen Black ride (and occasionally cross) the fine line of over-the-top with performances as robust and ripe as the gigantic marauding toddlers.

Meanwhile, betwixt the second and third Alive films, Moriarty and Cohen teamed with David Carradine for a charmingly sardonic exercise in monster mania, probably my personal favorite of Cohen’s horror efforts. A giant flying lizard (realized by an f/x team that included Dave Allen, Randy Cook and Peter Kuran ) starts picking off sunbathers and constructions workers off their Manhattan rooftops, eventually nesting in the Chrysler Building. Moriarty’s performance as a wheedling small-time crook is one for the ages.

RUNNING TOTAL:
First Time Views: 17
Repeats: 19
Total Films: 36